To not invite step child to Disneyworld next year?

[Ohanaa]

We have 1 DSC (13) and 2 DC together. (7&10)

We go away most years on some sort of holiday... Weekend U.K. break, abroad, U.K. theme parks etc. We Always invite DSC but they have never wanted to be away from their mum or their mum has said no.

We are looking to book 3 weeks in Florida & universal for next year.

Aibu not to invite DSC this time? I can see her mum saying yes and then saying no at the last moment (she had done this once before).

I don’t want to waste money to be honest.

Dsc is already going to Orlando next year for 5 days with her mum & nan.

No, you shouldn't not invite her.

Don't be that step parent. She's a child, your DH is her dad, its an amazing holiday, you invite her.

You'll probably get slaughtered here but if she will refuse to go then I wouldn't invite her. It will a total waste of money and trips like that aren't cheap.

Of course you need to invite her.

You have to invite.

Take out extra insurance to cover the loss or ask mum to stump up deposit which you will repay on arrival at Disney.

I think it sends a really horrible exclusive message to the child. Don’t do it.

You should invite her of course you should, but have a good conversation about if she agrees to go she has to go

You should invite her. She’s family and should be included with her siblings.

Would your husband not miss her if she hasn’t seen her for more than 3 weeks?

What does your DH think? Would he be sad not to have all his DC there?

@romdowa

You'll probably get slaughtered here but if she will refuse to go then I wouldn't invite her. It will a total waste of money and trips like that aren't cheap.

OP said the mum will say no, not the SD.

Not another. We seem to be getting one of these every week now.

Popcorn - check

Hard hat - check

Flak Jacket -check

Right off you go.

And just so you know, your behaviour is shocking.

Their father should not be leaving one of his children out of such a trip.

I was also thinking this thread happened last week too.

I'm slightly confused.
Who invites?
You alone, both of you, or him?

Is it your decision to make?

Surely this decision starts with your DH? You talk about your decision - but what about him? She's his daughter. And yours are quite close in age to her (10/13). I think it's very much down to the 13 year old's feelings and her dad. Sorry but this is just how it is if someone already has a child when you meet them.

Take out extra insurance to cover the loss or ask mum to stump up deposit which you will repay on arrival at Disney

She would never agree to pay the deposit and I didn’t think Insurance would cover such things as a mum changing her mind? Happy to be told insurance does cover it though!

Just so you know a thread about exactly the same subject of whether to take a step child to Disney land ended up in the Daily Mail a couple of weeks ago

I think you should invite her. If she says she doesn’t want to go, then that’s her call but she should have the opportunity.

She’s 13 so I think she’s old enough that you can invite her directly. If she says yes then DH needs to do everything in his power to enable her to come - if she keeps flaking out then take it to court so both of you need the others permission before taking her abroad. So if she wants to take her to Orlando she will have to let him take her to Disneyworld.

But if DSD says no then respect that decision.

If the only concern is that you'll be at the loss of money at the last minute if the mother doesn't let her go. Make it clear that if the other agrees to let her go and then stops her that you will be deducting the loss of money from her maintenance.

Also if the father is on the birth cert then he has rights and should get an order in the courts to allow him bring the child on holidays

What I would say is that if you decide not to invite her you'll be in good company. They do a villains parade at the magic Kingdom and you'll fit in nicely with all the wicked stepmothers

And how is your DH going to enjoy it if has excluded her?

Of course you should invite her, unless you’re prepared to leave one of your biological children out as well.
When two families blend there is no supremacy and all children should be tested as equals in my opinion.

DH is unsure. Neither of us want to chuck away what is thousands of pounds if dsc doesn’t come last minute or her mum says no.

DSC has never been away from mum for that long.

Also most of the trip is being covered by me as I have been gifted an amount of money recently from a family member and I want to create memories for my kids with it.

How hard has your husband tried to get the child to feel comfortable enough to go away with him before, and to what extent has he pushed back on their mother refusing to let them come?