AIBU- Dog vs neighbours allergic child !

[Henryhoover12]

Please can someone tell us if we’re being unreasonable or our neighbours are. We moved to a new house and really got on with our neighbours they are very lovely and we spend lots of time speaking to them. We mentioned that we were purchasing a dog In which they had mortified looks on their faces and explained their DC is extremely allergic to dogs (e.g can’t be in class with anyone who owns a dog etc has been in hospital) we kind of brushed it off and said we can speak about it closer to the time.

After that everytime we bumped into them they kept asking if we “changed our minds” which we found so awkward but in the end we told them not getting a dog wasn’t an option is we have always wanted one but are happy to work things out so it’s safe for their child. They took this badly and didn’t speak to us for a while. Closer to us picking up the dog we went around and asked what they would like us to do to ensure safety for their child.

One of the (long list of) rules was that we didn’t let the dog out while their child was in the garden. This seemed fine at the time until we realised their child is ALWAYS in the garden. And I mean always they have a little treehouse type thing that they play in so come rain and sunshine they are out there. At first we tried to play ball like if our dog wanted to wee we would walk him to the park 10 minutes but now it’s just getting ridiculous so we have started letting him go to wee when it’s raining outside because we really can’t be asked to walk 20 minutes just for that. The last time we did the mum came our and shouted at me saying I’m going to kill her child. AIBU to think that our dog has every much right to use our garden as the child? Our poor dog loves to be outside but is trapped inside because of this and I’m starting to think it’s really unfair

They are nuts.

Let your dog play in the garden.

They can’t rule your life just because of a child. How on earth does their child go to school? You’re telling me the whole school is dog free? I call BS. They’re just nutters. If their child was deathly allergic they should keep them in as I’m sure plenty of dogs walk by.

Never engage with batshittery in any form.

And that's a whole new level of batshit.

Your poor dog.

Assuming you have a decent high fence between the gardens, how could your dog even affect their child? The odd hair may float over but no more than if someone walked past their house with a dog! They are nuts.

I feel like I don't believe them... how do they go anywhere? How would the school police if someone in the class got a dog? Have you asked other parents?

They are ridiculous. Tell them your dog is going to be out most of the day so they need to keep their child inside. They'd tell you you were rude, ridiculous and unreasonable. Then they'd recognise themselves.

their DC is extremely allergic to dogs (e.g can’t be in class with anyone who owns a dog

Wow! They must be in a very small class in school! So many families have dogs. What if the teacher or classroom assistant have dogs?

So the kid can’t go for walks or to the park incase she walks past a dog? Not one other kid in her class has a dog? I don’t believe that for a second. You can’t tell a school no other kids in the class can have a dog

Oh fuck that's awkward. Their requests are unreasonable, but if their daughter is that allergic then of course they're worried.

Blimey this is bonkers (and I say that as a mum of a child who has a severe allergy)

How does the child go to school? A class with no dog owners?! Really?!

I think they just don't want a dog next door...

They’re nuts. If they want to not let their child in their garden when your dog is out then they can, but they can’t expect you to moderate how you use your own garden because of their child’s allergies.

They aren't being reasonable with the time split. They need to be more realistic and fair.

I really cannot believe that no one in their class has a dog

I doubt that kid is even allergic to dogs. They just don't want one living next door.

What's the fence like between your gardens? Put a six foot fence up and then allow the dog have free access. You can't pander for these people or they just get worse and worse.

YANBU, they are being ridiculous. I would simply say my dog is allowed in his garden and will be going there. However, if you wish to keep your son inside whilst he is out there, that is completely fine.

I have never in my life heard of someone with such severe allergies to a dog. How on earth do they live? I don’t for one second believe it I’m sorry. Especially the school thing.

That is mad, what if you’d just moved in and already owned dogs? They have no right to dictate if you have dogs and when you legit in the garden. The only thing I can think of is that you could say you’d let her know when the dog is regularly in the garden, eg mornings till 8am, lunchtime and evenings at 10pm- but that you can’t be limited to these times as you need to be able to enjoy and use your garden at other times too... i would worry even the system of regular times and warning her could give the wrong impression that she can say no or control your movements. Could you find out what distance child needs to be from dog and suggest she puts up a line in her garden that child doesn’t cross, in order for the child to stay safe? (Children should be easier to train than dogs for that surely and the allergy is theirs to deal with?)

Honestly I agree with others I'm finding it to believe they are not stretching the true extent of their childs allergies.

I would be incredibly doubtful that not one child in their class had a dog or that they went about dialy life without encountering dogs even at a distance.

If your dog in a garden is a risk to them surely so is any dog they would see out and about. I would continue to allow your dog outside and I certainly wouldn't be engaging in any further discussions with them.

YANBU, they're cracked. Where do they go when out and about, some magical dog free land? Nonsense, I don't believe that the child never comes into contact with anyone who has a dog.

I think you need to research dog allergy. I have a wasp sting allergy and have to carry epi pens everywhere but I just can't see how their child needs such stringent avoidance of dogs. I think they must be being excessively cautious and perhaps should have bought a house in a more isolated location

Please tell me this is a wind up?

How on earth do you stop anyone else in the class getting a dog? Teachers? Mid day assistants? Grandparents of class mates!

The kid is very allergic to dogs, we have heard stories in the past and it does seem very bad. She spent Christmas and new year in hospital because of this. The school have out very strict things in place for her so I don’t doubt the severity of her allergies.

I always try to think how I would feel if it was the other way around and I had a kid with severe allergies hence why we have been far more then generous in the rules we agreed to follow. But it just feels like we have given an inch and they’ve taken a mile.

I promise you we are not selfish people and when on planes there is someone with a nut allergy I get so angry when other passengers make a fuss about it.

Usually a pet allergy is triggered by the dead flakes of skin (dander) they shed. All you need to do is brush your dog every morning, and then wipe him over with a damp cloth. And your neighbour can put up a solid fence.

I am willing to believe their child is very allergic (although this level of allergy to a dog I've never heard of) but their response is crazy. For a start, if their child is that allergic, then how do they ever leave the house? There's no way that all children in her class are dog free. In the (very unlikely) event that they are, what about the rest of the school? What about when a dog-free child bumps into a cute dog outside and stops to pet the dog - are all classmates banned from any and all interaction with dogs?

Then there's the ridiculousness of worrying about what, a single dog hair floating over the fence? Not only is this ridiculous (although sure, make sure you have a high fence to be extra careful), it demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of risk. Because if they were this worried, it also means they'd never use public transport, go for a walk etc.

Plus, again, even in the very unlikely event that this is an issue, at the end of the day it is THEIR responsibility to protect their daughter. Perhaps they should be moving somewhere the garden is so big that neighbouring dogs' hair cannot possibly travel?

This is ridiculous and you shouldn't have already gone along with any of it. If their child's problem is really that bad, then I'm afraid they are the ones who have to deal with it (keep their child indoors etc). Nobody else should be required to make long term adjustments to their lives.

And as others have said, I refuse to believe there is any class in any school in the country where all the kids live in dog free houses.

Barking!