AIBU to be pissed off DH went straight to celebrate with friends after the match?

[iamtherealelsa]

Regular poster but name changed for this one...
So DH has always been pretty into football. He's not massively bothered about following the usual league stuff but gets hugely excited for big tournaments. Tonight was a really big deal for him. We have watched a couple of the games of this tournament together so far, and a couple he has watched with a small group of friends who also happen to be neighbours, always at one particular neighbour's house.
I've never been that into it but have always watched the big games and tournaments and always always watched England. He knows this - we've been together for 17 years.
I said after we knew England had made it to the semis that I definitely wanted to watch it. We have two young DC and no babysitters at the moment (DM is our usual babysitter but she has a recently diagnosed spinal issue...whole other thread).
There was lots of umming and ahhing the last week about where he would be watching this one and I made it clear that I wanted to watch it and ideally didn't want to watch it alone! He said he would stay in but seemed a bit reluctant and to be honest I felt like he really didn't want to. I think he was only really doing it to make up for the fact that he went to the cinema this afternoon while I looked after both DC and DM's dog and he just didn't feel he was entitled to go out again today.
Anyway, he stayed in, we watched it together but as soon as the football finished he announced he was going for a 'celebratory beer' at his friend's house and was basically out the door before I knew what had happened. I'm really pissed off and think it was a bit shitty to just leave me to clear up, turn everything off and go to bed on my own while he went out to celebrate with the people he clearly wished he'd been with this whole time! I just feel a bit rejected and uninvolved which is possibly really pathetic.
AIBU to think he should have stayed to have that celebratory drink with me?

There's some batshit crazy responses on here, where's the misogyny?! If both can't go out, neither can go out so it's 'fair' - WTF! Myself or husband would never leave the house. Great we both get to stay in forever. Kids asleep, OP has no invite anywhere, husband pops to neighbours after watching game happily with partner. Seems pretty healthy to me!

He could’ve gone for the first half & you could’ve gone for the second half, then I’d’ve stayed out all night telling him that it went injury time.

@Nayday

There's some batshit crazy responses on here, where's the misogyny?! If both can't go out, neither can go out so it's 'fair' - WTF! Myself or husband would never leave the house. Great we both get to stay in forever. Kids asleep, OP has no invite anywhere, husband pops to neighbours after watching game happily with partner. Seems pretty healthy to me!

I agree. It's bonkers. 😂

I meant we would watch together and stay together after. One of us wouldn't go celebrate and leave the other alone.

So glad I'm not in a relationship like this. He obviously wanted to meet up with mates and OP didn't have other plans.

@ineedaholidaynow

Why is it only men that get the pass to go out and leave their partner home as someone has to be there for the kids? So he is going to be out for the final so OP has to watch it at home in her own

It isn't. That's rubbish.

As we speak, my other half is away for three days with a mate just because she likes travelling. Fine by me. I'm here with the kids. We've been doing this for years.

Agree @WalkingOnTheCracks - in most (surely?) relationships, it isn’t only men who get the pass.

Both do, depending on who has plans to go out, whose friends have arranged something - outside of times when you both go out, having arranged a babysitter, or you socialise as an entire family.

I thought this was normal.

@SmackMyAssnCallMeJudy

Agree *@WalkingOnTheCracks* - in most (surely?) relationships, it isn’t only men who get the pass.

Both do, depending on who has plans to go out, whose friends have arranged something - outside of times when you both go out, having arranged a babysitter, or you socialise as an entire family.

I thought this was normal.

It is. But fuck me if a guy suddenly decided he wants to go out he clearly hates women.

OP, I feel it's a bit disingenuous that you keep saying you "didn't force him" to stay in with you. By telling him that you didn't want to watch the match alone, you were making your expectations clear.

Can you honestly say there'd have been no fallout for him if he'd chosen to watch with his mates rather than you?

@moynomore

I meant we would watch together and stay together after. One of us wouldn't go celebrate and leave the other alone.

So glad I'm not in a relationship like this. He obviously wanted to meet up with mates and OP didn't have other plans.

But I can't imagine many women making plans to leave the house at 10/11 o'clock to go drinking after the match with whoever was available?

And also she had plans? To be with him for the evening? Would be really odd to make other plans on top of that for the end of the night!

Where did your husband see tonight’s game?

@burnoutbabe
Why can't you imagine many women making plans for after the match?

Her plans may have been to be with him for the evening, but his plans were clearly different. They clearly hadn't agreed to her plan to sit in all evening together.

I suppose it just would not occur to me to make plans for late evening when living with my partner and kid. And if I did, I'd definitely think I had best mention I'd be suddenly leaving the house.

My husband spent 4K on a ticket, so I would just be grateful he stayed at home and watched it with you.