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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off DH went straight to celebrate with friends after the match?

313 replies

iamtherealelsa · 07/07/2021 23:29

Regular poster but name changed for this one...
So DH has always been pretty into football. He's not massively bothered about following the usual league stuff but gets hugely excited for big tournaments. Tonight was a really big deal for him. We have watched a couple of the games of this tournament together so far, and a couple he has watched with a small group of friends who also happen to be neighbours, always at one particular neighbour's house.
I've never been that into it but have always watched the big games and tournaments and always always watched England. He knows this - we've been together for 17 years.
I said after we knew England had made it to the semis that I definitely wanted to watch it. We have two young DC and no babysitters at the moment (DM is our usual babysitter but she has a recently diagnosed spinal issue...whole other thread).
There was lots of umming and ahhing the last week about where he would be watching this one and I made it clear that I wanted to watch it and ideally didn't want to watch it alone! He said he would stay in but seemed a bit reluctant and to be honest I felt like he really didn't want to. I think he was only really doing it to make up for the fact that he went to the cinema this afternoon while I looked after both DC and DM's dog and he just didn't feel he was entitled to go out again today.
Anyway, he stayed in, we watched it together but as soon as the football finished he announced he was going for a 'celebratory beer' at his friend's house and was basically out the door before I knew what had happened. I'm really pissed off and think it was a bit shitty to just leave me to clear up, turn everything off and go to bed on my own while he went out to celebrate with the people he clearly wished he'd been with this whole time! I just feel a bit rejected and uninvolved which is possibly really pathetic.
AIBU to think he should have stayed to have that celebratory drink with me?

OP posts:
Fedinbed · 07/07/2021 23:30

Meh. I think you should have ‘let’ him watch it with his mates.

Demelza82 · 07/07/2021 23:31

Celebrate what? Was he playing?

HeartIess · 07/07/2021 23:31

Omg op

Let him.

ThankYouDebbie · 07/07/2021 23:32

Let it go Football

Nicknacky · 07/07/2021 23:33

So he did what you wanted him to do then has went out to see his pals, exactly what is the issue?

That you went to bed alone?

OppsUpsSide · 07/07/2021 23:34

This is why relationships scare me, it just sounds a bit miserable all round.

Pandasarecool · 07/07/2021 23:34

I really don’t understand the problem but I’d shove my dh out the door for a quiet evening alone.

SoftSheen · 07/07/2021 23:35

You should have let him watch the match with his friends. Don't be controlling.

babyblues21 · 07/07/2021 23:35

@Pandasarecool

I really don’t understand the problem but I’d shove my dh out the door for a quiet evening alone.

Me too 😂

Mipapapequenaa · 07/07/2021 23:36

I think I'd feel pretty sad too. A bit of a shame he didn't ask if you wanted to join him for a drink with said neighbours or you could have all watched the game together?

AbsolutelySure · 07/07/2021 23:36

You should've let him be with his mates.

BluebellsGreenbells · 07/07/2021 23:36

Don’t see an issue. Why are you trying to control this? ‘Let’ the grown adult make his own discussions - it’s hardly a crime to want some free time when the kids are in bed.

GreenTeaBlackCoffeeAndRedWine · 07/07/2021 23:36

Christ yeah let him celebrate with his mates. It's a big thing.

bettybyebye · 07/07/2021 23:37

YABU

dane8 · 07/07/2021 23:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MiaRoma · 07/07/2021 23:38

Are you always this needy and controlling, OP?

Mipapapequenaa · 07/07/2021 23:38

@SoftSheen

You should have let him watch the match with his friends. Don't be controlling.
Really?

They both like to watch it... Why would OP not expect to be able to watch it together? OP isn't controlling him.

Pippa12 · 07/07/2021 23:39

Tonight is massive… I’d just roll with it and hope to god I was asleep when he got home!

GreenTeaBlackCoffeeAndRedWine · 07/07/2021 23:40

Isn't watching it together, then him celebrating with his mates afterwards a good compromise? Best of both worlds

skippy67 · 07/07/2021 23:41

YABU

Howcanthisbe123 · 07/07/2021 23:41

Surly you would rather be with your mates than your partner when celebrating football.

Atleast you watched the game together. Don’t see a problem with him going out after if you’re just going to bed!

Yabu

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/07/2021 23:41

Why should OP sit alone and not have the fun of watching it with someone else, ie her husband? Surely she is his defaults person to watch and celebrate it with ?

Mipapapequenaa · 07/07/2021 23:41

@BluebellsGreenbells

Don’t see an issue. Why are you trying to control this? ‘Let’ the grown adult make his own discussions - it’s hardly a crime to want some free time when the kids are in bed.
Why shouldn't OP be the one to get some free time to enjoy?

OP was with the children all afternoon whilst he went out to the cinema. I'd want to be the one to have something nice to do in the evening. I'd at least want the option to have a drink with DH after the game - if he's having a not pre-planned drink with friends then it sucks OP has to stay home with children now 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Iamtherealelsa · 07/07/2021 23:42

I suppose I just wanted him to want to celebrate with me!
We were in for the night, had had a few drinks, I was enjoying myself - now I just feel like he wasn't! He's done plenty of 'celebrating' with other people through the tournament and will no doubt go out on Sunday to watch it with them. It's not a case of me 'letting' him do anything - he's a grown man and it was his decision to stay in, not mine!
Just feels like a bit of an anticlimax. Not sure if I'm expressing it properly but your responses are all v serious! I just feel a bit peeved and a bit down.
Consensus seems to be YABU though 🤣

OP posts:
Yrevocsid · 07/07/2021 23:43

Yeah you are being unreasonable. And controlling. He obviously wanted it watch it with mates from the start but you were arsey about that so he stayed with you and watched it to keep you happy. When they won he felt able to leave you and go see his mates.

What exactly did you have to clear up? A couple of glasses and a crisp and dip bowl? And lock a door and turn off a couple of lamps? 😂