. . . to expect a bit more help in children's ward?

[TiredStressedFrustrated]

DD (18 months) was admitted to hospital yesterday (sent to A&E by GP due to fast, shallow breathing and high heart rate, but dehydrated, all as a result of upper respiratory tract infection and not being able to keep any fluids/food/calpol down). Since we've been here, I've been really dismayed at how hands-off everyone is - I've been handed a syringe and told to get eight syringes of water into DD every hour overnight, I was handed a plastic cup and told to get a pee sample (this has proved impossible, the tiny pee that she did I missed and it was absorbed into her nappy, even when she threw up everywhere, housekeeping handed me a pack of wipes and said "are you okay cleaning the floor up with these?" - this is while I was holding a very upset toddler covered in vomit.

Now don't get me wrong - DD is my responsibility and of course I want to look after her, clean up after her etc. It just feels like there's no support from the hospital staff at all - they just hand you the equipment for whatever needs doing and expect you to do it all, whilst they dip in and out and take obs every few hours.

Is this normal? I'm struggling to get DD to take the syringes but they just say "oh dear . . . " I haven't been able to get a urine sample but they tell me really need it so keep trying . . . I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired and stressed but I feel like we're just muddling through ourselves and we may as well be at home

How dreadful. I hope your little one will start to feel better soon. If they are not actually doing anything, why not go home? You can do the syringes there? Can you ask a nurse to actually help you?

I have never heard of a domestic staff member asking the patient to clean the floor no!

That sounds really distressing for at such an already difficult and anxious time.

Have you asked what they’ll do if you can’t get the water into her? If you can’t get a sample?

Have you seen a doctor today?

Sending all good wishes to your daughter

Awwww how awful OP. It’s so hard to see your child unwell. I have to say, with the exception of the vomit thing, this has been similar to my experience. I’ve always had to do the fluids and samples - I assumed it was because the child would be more relaxed with parent than Abby know doctor or nurse. With covid though it’s probably more hands off than normal.

The samples are a nightmare, have you tried sitting him on your knee on top of the pot and read a story or watch YouTube? You’re not going g to get pee without fluids, you only need to drip feed it so a couple of drops at a time. You could maybe try an ice lolly too (hospital should have some available) as they work a treat when the refuse water.

And have you had a doctor review or are they saying they want to investigate before you see a doctor? I would push to speak to someone about the plan here.

Ask them for a pad that absorbs urine to put inside her nappy. They are designed for urine collection from babies. One problem solved at least!

My child has to spend a lot if time in hospital and I have never had this treatment. Most strange.

Sounds much like my only experience of staying in hospital with a similarly aged DC I'm afraid. I had to get a pee sample, it took ages but there's not much they can do to help, you do have to just try and catch one. Its rubbish

it's so stressful but you'll get there, hope DD feels better soon

Oh op this is awful. Of course they should be giving you support. Yes they'll be busy but getting fluids into a poorly 18mth old every hour is vital they can't expect an exhausted stressed parent to do it all while they just do obs.

Talk to your nurse and say you're struggling, you're worried, you want some help to get fluids into her and to help get a urine sample.

Hope your dd improves

I understand why they’d ask you to get the wee sample and give the baby water but I think the house keeping staff were being very unreasonable handing you the wipes and expecting you to clean it up while your baby was in such a distressed state. Hope your daughter gets better soon.

Sorry OP, that sounds absolutely rubbish. I have no idea if it's normal, but it doesn't sound ideal at all.

On a practical note I'd second @flapjackfairy to ask for the special pad to collect the urine sample. I have no idea what it's called but when we were asked to collect one on our DC that young we were given one. It's basically a little plastic bag thing that has a sticky part. So you can pop that onto them under their nappy. It's still a bit of a nightmare but definitely easier than attempting to collect it in a cup!

Everything except cleaning up the vomit is pretty normal- yes. Usually because parents will have more success with persuading their children to drink than a stranger, with much less time, trying to do it much quicker. Similar with the urine- with multiple children to assess, most times there isn't an hour or two to sit and hope for a urine sample. Early morning is best to try and catch urine- take of nappy and a cool (cold) face wash on the area can give a bit more success. If the urine is vital- they could still do an in out catheter- although that can be distressing to an older toddler.

I forgot to say, I hope your DD is feeling better soon

Also- especially with URTI's, it's important to try and keep children, especially young children calm, as their breathing can become a lot more laboured when they are really upset- most research and hospital policies is for a very hands off approach if possible, to keep the child calm- although that should also be explained that's why they are doing it. Hope they are feeling better soon.

My DC got a little plastic bag to stick around the genital area. You then put the nappy on as usual, but the wee is collected in the bag for the urine sample. Maybe ask if they can give you one of those?
Getting a toddler to pee in a cup sounds impossible!

I used to do most care for DD but would draw the line at cleaning the floor. They once threw clean bedding onto the end of the bed and walked off - I think they were expecting me to change the sheets as well. The bedding was still there in the evening when I pointed out to an HCA that I wouldn't be doing it partly because with a bed bound DD attached to IV lines it was not a 1 person job anyway.
If you need some help/advice then ask one of the staff for some tips. You should be able to find someone to help but on the whole staffing has been cut to the bone and parents are expected to do most of the day to day care.

My DD was in hospital at the same age with the same thing about 18 months ago. I was surprised how little of an induction there was for parents. I wasn't told I had to pay for teabags (no problem paying, I just couldn't find them and nurse was sniffy when I asked where they were), they didn't mention there were high chairs until I came across one going to the loo etc. DD had dreadful diarrhea from the antibiotics and her nappy exploded over the high chair and her legs. I carted her off to the bathroom and asked another parent to flag down a health care assistant. When I got back with a clean baby, the HCA was cleaning the high chair, so they did do the cleaning, pre-Covid. Don't know whether it's a "being in proximity to other adults" thing?

Nearly 20 years ago ds was admitted on /off for 10 months. I only ever saw any staff at shift change.
If you need extra support speak up op. Though tbh less people probably means less stress for your dd.
Hope she is better soon.

Thanks everyone - I think I was just panicking a bit. I really can't get fluids into her and I know that she won't improve until I do. I'll be a bit more assertive in asking for help/advice from the staff.

Several factors at play, I guess - budget cuts, covid, and maybe bad luck in terms of timing (although they don't seem busy, only three of the six beds in the ward are occupied). Anyway, I'll give myself a shake and regroup! Thank you for all the well-wishes.

@TiredStressedFrustrated I was given the following tip for collecting a wee sample by the nurse at the children's outpatient unit: put the nappy on inside out and the wee will not be absorbed as it is waterproof on the outside, she also said put some cotton wool in and you can squeeze the wee out (with gloves on!).
Be careful when taking it off as it goes everywhere, but I have done it a couple of times and it really does work.

With the drinking will she let you put ice to her lips, if you can get hold of any

It was the same 40 years ago when DS1 was constantly in and out of hospital.

And later when my father was very ill. I had to interrupt a group gossip to tell them the man in the next bed had messed himself and the smell was overpowering. Sister said they'd be there "in a while"". I said they'd be there now or I was going to the matron's office to ask her to do it.

Bone idle, some nurses. Like in all jobs.

Did they tell you to tap on her bladder for the urine sample. It's a trick a emergency room nurse taught me when my eldest was a similar age. You just tap with your finger on their tummy above the pubic bone and hold the cup with the other hand and it makes them want to pee. It works! I've never had to clean up my childs vomit when in hospital, quite unusual but maybe its because of covid. Wishing your little one a speedy recovery!

Most of the time, a child is more likely to accept a syringe from a parent than a stranger hence why they give you the chance.
If she continues to refuse the fluids she will be placed on a drip via cannula which won’t be nice for her.

The domestics were out of order though. That’s certainly not your job.

for you OP. it's a stressful situation to be in and you can end up feeling helpless.

One tip for getting a urine sample is that if you rub their tummy where their bladder is with a cold wet wipes (or cotton wool and water) it can stimulate them to wee and you can be ready to catch it.

Are you just giving plain water? I know it's bad for their teeth but see if you can get hold of some squash and give syringes of dilute squash instead, they're much more likely to go for it if they're dehydrated and grumpy, the sugar is enough of a lure to help. I have very occasionally done this when my 18 month old is teething badly and refusing to drink. Once the initial dehydration is improved he usually oddly ends up drinking water quite happily afterwards.

same thing happened to me , thought it was strange that they only came in to take blood and heart rate etc :S other than that didnt see anyone for 2 days really