To think she's BU about DSS clothes?

[Kitten1230]

I've name changed in case she's on here.

DSS is 15. He stays here from Friday afternoon until Monday before school EOW and more in the holidays. I usually wash uniform on the Friday so it's dry (although he does have shirts and trousers here so it wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't).

I then wash his clothes he's worn over the weekend on the Monday/tuesday and I put them away for him. If he's here in the holiday, he goes home in clean clothes and j still wash the clothes he's worn over the weekend.

His mum messaged and said that we shouldn't be ‘keeping’ his clothes as she has payed for them (although some clothes DP has payed for are at hers). When he's off school he wears whatever to go back home and it doesn't matter if we've payed for them.

Are we BU?

[quote DavidTheDog]@Bridezillamaybe it's puzzling though. Didn't he wonder where their clothes were on the Friday night? They could have gone straight to the shops after school. I can imagine a parent getting to the end of their tether and forcing the other to take some responsibility for their children.[/quote]
Could he? Well clearly you know exactly what was going on in their world that Friday. And how anyone can be at the end of their tether the first weekend of an an arrangement is what's puzzling to me. Also why clothes that were bought by both of them (well him mainly) for general use or presents or the teenagers themselves automatically belong to her and not the teens.

They had their bags packed and they were in her office near their school ready to be collected by him after school. She had given no indication this was going to be a problem as indeed she had been part of the arrangements. But then when he drove his daughters to collect them she had changed her mind and said they weren't allowed to have them and to tell their father to buy them new clothes. As they each had a number of sporting commitments (with other people relying on them) they had no time to go straight to the shops.

I guess posters here think that's fair enough but I think spitefully using your daughters to point score is pretty despicable.

@Bridezillamaybe I think the problem is every situation is slightly different!

I wouldn’t ever be taking back bags that my kids had packed.

In some situations, rps do get at the end of their tether with the keeping of clothes.

I find it really annoying when I buy clothes for my dc and they end up at their dad’s. because if they want to wear them they can’t and I end up buying more if they need them for a particular occasion or activity

Ok bridezilla you’re right, the mother of your boyfriend’s children is just a complete bitch.

As they each had a number of sporting commitments (with other people relying on them) they had no time to go straight to the shops.
I agree it was underhanded if the DM felt that way she should have said, it wasn't fair on the DC.
Lots of ex couples insist on buying separates after a time of clothing going missing or an unfair financial arrangement.

I understand what you are say WhenZoom but you could say, "Please make sure he/she brings X home becauseX is needed", with emphasis on the 'Please'.

@DavidTheDog

Ok bridezilla you’re right, the mother of your boyfriend’s children is just a complete bitch.

No, no you're right obviously and have much clearer insight into the whole thing.

@claralara42

It is actually nothing to do with the OP as she isn't the child's parent

This is always trotted out and it's always bullshit. OP knows it has to do with her, or she wouldn't be posting.

The OP has no parental responsibility.

She is actually being nice sorting out the teenager's clothes.

He is old enough to launder his own clothes and carry them back to his mother's home. For some reason the OP and his dad have decided not to get him to do the first part.

(And yes I'm a step-mother, had step-mothers and from 13 my clothes were my responsibility to launder not any of the adults around me. )