To think holidays with a baby are not really a holiday?

[Thedigey]

Just that really... currently on uk holiday with dh and 8 month old + 2 dogs and I’m really struggling. Am exhausted, have spent no quality time with dh, every time we want to go out it’s like a fucking military operation with all baby’s stuff. .. best time I’ve had has been on the beach with one of the dogs on my own running in the sea.. . Is it wrong I had more fun with him than my baby? Have been forced to go to bed at 10 every night.... what kind of holiday is this? I feel so depressed...the place we’re staying was originally booked nearly 2 years ago for last summer before even knew we’d be having a baby, it’s gorgeous and romantic but it’s turned into a baby junkyard 😱

holidays with kids are never a holiday but a change of scenery.
no matter what age or number

Sounds shit. That’s why I didn’t have any! My dogs are all I need

I agree, holidays with kids aren’t holidays. You still have to do all the same shit just in a different place.

Your holidays will be different for a while!
It’s ok to enjoy your time with just the dog too. I guess DH is normally at work? Maybe he is enjoying more time with dc.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

holidays with kids are never a holiday but a change of scenery. no matter what age or number

We took our 2 year old away a few weeks ago and all had the absolute best time.

It gets better OP!

Most of mumsnet will agree with you, but I’m afraid I don’t.

It’s fine that you enjoyed the time with the dog best.

But why does the baby mean you have to go to bed at 10pm? And I don’t see what all the stuff is? Nappies/wipes/milk if formula feeding… spare clothes? Surely just your normal change bag will suffice like it does at home?

Hope it picks up for you.

YANBU. Holidays for me now are purely parenting without all your mod cons and escapism from work. Mine is 2.5 but has additional needs which mean we can't (and likely won't be able to) leave him with family to get away now or any time in the near future. Seriously considering booking a weekend away for myself!!

Erm go home then?

Same job, different venue. Often actually harder outside your familiar setting.

Yeah DH refused to go on holiday with young DC, he made the right decision for us!

I once read something by, I think, the travel writer, Jill Crawshaw, which said. ‘ holidays with children are a contradiction in terms.’
Too right.

@Toomuchspinning my dh literally forces us all to bed at 10 because that’s when baby goes to bed...
there’s just strewn everywhere bc my dh doesn’t tidy up
@Tiw8 I feel like that

@Arthur2shedsJackson very true

We are booked to go again in October, don’t know if I can face it tbh

I think the key is to change your expectations to match reality. If you expect it to be a romantic getaway like you would have had pre-baby then you will be disappointed. We’ve always relaxed routines as well when on holidays and been more lax about bedtimes and such.

Oh ok, on reading your update it turns out your husband is awful. It won’t be much of a holiday if he refuses to tidy up and forces you to bed at 10pm.

Seems a bit random to blame the baby though, sounds like your husband is ruining your holiday.

Depends on what you used to do on a holiday I suppose.

You're probably not going to be able to start drinking on the sun loungers at midday or go out all night until 4am with a baby. Or spend all day sun bathing with a book. Or spending the week in bed having sex.

But you can still go on day trips, have meals out and it is a change of scenery.

I have 3 and I’ve never felt like this. Sounds like your DH is more the issue than the baby?
We took all ours abroad before they were 6 months and we’ve always enjoyed it and had time together such as when baby naps or when the DC are in bed.
Maybe try and suggest to DH you could both have a drink once the baby is asleep?
You don’t need to be trawling out anymore baby stuff than you usually do at home either.

Agree. We didn't bother with holidays until we had kids age 2+. Until that age it would have been same shit, different bucket but at more expense. They didn't sleep well away from home and if they didn't, we didn't. Bloody torture!

Holidays are different but it does get better! DS is 5 now and I am actually looking forward to going on holiday with him (albeit we have a ratio of 3 adults to 1 child so that helps).

@Kanaloa yeah obviously I knew it would be different but guess I’m struggling with that. Just don’t get why he’s making us all go to bed. I mean surely after she’s asleep, we could go downstairs and chill/watch something for an hour or 2, have a drink 🤷‍♀️

You’re having a crap time because your husband is shit

@Pikachusbutt haha nope never done any of those things

How is he making you go to bed? You’re a grownup for god’s sake, I struggle making my 11 year old go to bed. Just say no let’s stay up, or no I’m staying up.