To think holidays with a baby are not really a holiday?

[Thedigey]

Just that really... currently on uk holiday with dh and 8 month old + 2 dogs and I’m really struggling. Am exhausted, have spent no quality time with dh, every time we want to go out it’s like a fucking military operation with all baby’s stuff. .. best time I’ve had has been on the beach with one of the dogs on my own running in the sea.. . Is it wrong I had more fun with him than my baby? Have been forced to go to bed at 10 every night.... what kind of holiday is this? I feel so depressed...the place we’re staying was originally booked nearly 2 years ago for last summer before even knew we’d be having a baby, it’s gorgeous and romantic but it’s turned into a baby junkyard 😱

Oh my god we had the worst holiday when DC was 8 months this should make you feel better.

Anxious first time parents (okay, anxious FTM) and we had 'won' a holiday abroad for 4 nights. Weather was crap and we just had one large room so would get DC to bed at usual time somehow - we hung out in the en suite a couple of times while waiting for DC to fall asleep - then whisper on the phone to get room service which was eaten while watching line of duty at volume 1 on my iPad.

On our last night DH ordered a steak. It was massive and made the room stink of blood so I sent him, his bleeding meat dinner and massive glass of red wine to watch the iPad alone in the (empty) bath. I so wish I could share the photo I took of that!

Also we had borrowed a travel cot which was hideous and baby was sleeping on a breathing monitor () - the cot and monitor didn't really jel so we were woken multiple times a night by the monitor going off. Couldn't wait to fly home!

PS had a more civilised 2 week break in actual sunshine and with wider family a couple of months later and it was bliss

Surely you know it’s not that your kids are there, it’s that your DH is horrible and useless?

Always seems like a good idea at the time.. but it's not really much of a holiday it's such hard work

That's one of the hardest parts of having small children - going on holiday and realising holidays are extinct.

Same shit, different location.

It gets better quite quickly though.

A holiday when DS was a baby was still a holiday. I was breastfeeding though so not much baby stuff, I just carried a backpack, baby in a stretchy wrap.

I didn't have dogs to deal with though!

Is dh as well like that ? Does he tell you when you’ve to go to bed as well?

Just remembered what a faff it was sterilising and finding suitable weaning food as well in that remote part of Europe

God it was rubbish. The naps as well, spent huddled on the bed watching the iPad and silently eating lunch.

It's been villas only since that 'break'!

Your DH sounds like the problem.. he sounds like a right Prick 🌸

No kids but that’s why I refuse self catering that is not a holiday.

Best to stay at home till they are about 2. Only then does it get real.

Dh still makes us go up to bed at 10 at home too bc that’s baby’s routine but then we watch stuff in bed for a while but yh I’m sick of it tbh, I’m quite a night owl and can’t sleep that early. Also while we’ve been away I’ve been forced up at 7-7.30 every day even though we’re on holiday and baby is asleep!

We're currently on a uk holiday with a 5yr old and 11 week old!
Baby doesn't go to bed until 10ish either but me and DH still make time for eachother later on when they're in bed.
I genuinely enjoy my DC's company so love having family holidays.
Enjoy the change of scenery. Get out during the day. Go out to eat. Get a bottle of wine and insist you sit together and drink it after the baby is in bed.
Of course it won't be the same as what it was before your baby but it is what you make it.

My dh isn’t really a prick but can be on occasions.. he just seems to be anal over baby’s routine and if I don’t stick to routine and she has a bad night, I’ll be blamed

@joesm12 yep that’s what we seem to be lacking as currently it’s basically lights out as soon as baby goes down and I don’t get why.

@Kanaloa

Seems a bit random to blame the baby though, sounds like your husband is ruining your holiday.

That. We had great holidays with our babies when they were that age. But my husband wasn't an arse.

Only if you also think that life with a baby is not really a life.

A baby changes your life and holidays are part of that change, I guess.

For some people, they make life better, for some people they make life worse and for others they just make it different.

Same life different settings.

Unless you go with family who will help a lot and you get some timeout

[quote Thedigey]@Toomuchspinning my dh literally forces us all to bed at 10 because that’s when baby goes to bed...
there’s just strewn everywhere bc my dh doesn’t tidy up
@Tiw8 I feel like that[/quote]
It's a DH issue not a baby or holiday issue. He sounds like a lazy controlling arse

Let him go to bed and stick to the routine, you do what you want, you're on holiday and are capable of independent thought and action!

Holidays with any kids is not a holiday for the parents, it's a change of scenery maybe but it's not a rest, it's exhausting.

So you're on holida with a husband who is refusing to do any housework and who will emotionally / verbally ? abuse you of you don't do as he dictates? Sounds like you need to take stock and work out how to get you and baby out of there.

No holidays with kids aren't restful but we'd sleep in as late as we could (ha!) and stay up past baby's bedtime like we do at home, we'd both do the tidying and cleaning like we do at home but with fun days out and the sea as a bonus

Also why is your 8 month old going to bed at 10pm?

We need the equivalent of cat and dog homes where we can bunk kids for a couple of weeks each summer. Back in the 1950s we kids were bunked with a grandparent or aunt while our parents went off for a week. They invariably spoiled us.