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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Multiple fathers and cf yummy mummy

249 replies

Anonmummyoftwo · 29/06/2021 21:22

Iv 2 dc both different dads and I’m not with either dad and honestly the thought of being with either gives me nightmares. At the school gate today someone had a family member’s newborn and this baby melted my heart. So the conversation was centred around babies and one mum asked would I not want another and I said I would love one more and the yummy mummy (actually says this on all her social media profiles) made a comment that I already have 2x2 would I really want a third with someone else. I bit my tongue because kids were around and said I could have 10x10 if I wanted and it’s nothing todo with her I raise my kids myself. Really wanted to tell her to go fuck herself and the only reason her kids have the same dad is because she got pregnant and his family made him marry her, wasn’t a gun held to his head or anything just sort of guilted him as they are very religious.
Iv been with my partner now coming upto four years but friends over 10 he’s no bio kids himself and hes amazing with mine. The kids have no relationship with their bio dads and have both taken to calling him dad and he introduces them to people as his kids.

What’s the issue people have with women having multiple dads for their kids but men can have one in every city in the uk and no one says anything really or at least not to their faces

OP posts:
00100001 · 29/06/2021 21:24

Ummm..

notmethenwho · 29/06/2021 21:24

Wow she was RUDE

NeepNeepNeep · 29/06/2021 21:25

Because sexism that's why.

Xmassprout · 29/06/2021 21:26

It's double standards, it's the same with anything.

It's like when men have lots of sexual partners, they get high 5s and a pat on the back. If a woman has a lot of sexual partners, she is seen as 'dirty', looked down on and called names. Really irritates me

EmeraldShamrock · 29/06/2021 21:28

Double standards. She was very rude.

MintMatchmaker · 29/06/2021 21:29

It’s sexism. If your children don’t have involvement with their bio dads and call your partner Dad I wouldn’t even bother discussing it with people. Nothing to do with anyone else.

maddening · 29/06/2021 21:30

Well you obviously can't buy class, she is not that much of a yummy mummy, mote a rude arsehole.

Ignore her op, you took the dignified route and people like that would be a waste of effort if you had put her right.

UpSlyDown · 29/06/2021 21:30

I would certainly judge a man who had loads of children in different cities and would never in a million years have a child with him.

Annoymoususer · 29/06/2021 21:31

Yummy mummy lol, anyone that calls themselves yummy mummy is an embarrassment to all human kind. She sounds like a total tit why you take notice of some vapid woman whose snout is in everyone else's business

StillCalmX · 29/06/2021 21:34

A delinerately rude comment designed to make you feel bad. I think i read on here, when somebody says something awful and you're non confrontational, then saying "ouch!" calls them out on their mesn comment without risking a fallout

Fullofglee · 29/06/2021 21:34

I have 3 dc one from a previous relationship and 2.with my dh, if that relationship ended I wouldnt have more dc. I think it can be chaotic have to deal with mutilple dfs. The woman was wrong to be vocal about it it though. Dh friend has siblings who had different father's when his mother died in her forties his family fractured and those siblings who had shared a father went to live with him and his other siblings disbanded, it was so sad to see,we invited him for christmas as he was completely alone.

ContessaVerde · 29/06/2021 21:35

Vapid... yes! Great description!

GintyMcGinty · 29/06/2021 21:37

Nothing yummy about her

LemonRoses · 29/06/2021 21:42

Personally, I think there’s an issue with both sexes having numerous children with multiple partners. Nothing to do with sexism and everything to do with the view that children are best planned and raised in committed, stable relationships.

Some of us think differently to others.

VettiyaIruken · 29/06/2021 21:43

Some people are judgemental, it's best to ignore them.

SprinklesMcDoodles · 29/06/2021 21:45

She’s an arsehole. Her opinion doesn’t matter. Your children have the same dad - your partner. It doesn’t matter who they are biologically related to. I wouldn’t engage with her anymore. Block her out.

DrSbaitso · 29/06/2021 21:45

She's an idiot, but she calls herself a yummy mummy, so you knew that already.

Hankunamatata · 29/06/2021 21:46

Well she was rude.

But I don't think its uncommon for people to raise eyebrows if a mum or dad has multiple children by different partners.

DidSheGetOffThePlane · 29/06/2021 21:46

Someone my DH knows has 5 kids by 5 different mothers and seems to be treated like some kind of hero in their friendship group (not by DH!), yet if a woman had 5 kids by 5 men she'd get called all sorts. It's sickening!

notmethenwho · 29/06/2021 21:46

She shouldn't judge you but I WILL judge her for proclaiming herself a yummy mummy hahahahaha

lilmishap · 29/06/2021 21:46

Yummy my arse. Ha ha what a cunt she is!! Honestly you have to guffaw at these women, it's the kids you love not the sperm applicator

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 29/06/2021 21:50

She's an arsehole (and possibly insecure, based on what you say about her own family?) but sadly a lot of people are. MN is often incredibly conservative on this question too tbh, which is dispiriting given how poorly served mothers often are by the nuclear family.

I think it's tied up in all sorts of ridiculous sexual morality and a lack of imagination about how many ways a family can provide a child with love, stability and security. And often bitterness and anxieties about their own situation, too.

Cherrysoup · 29/06/2021 21:54

Good god, she was unbelievably rude! I would have been equally rude to her.

PumpkinKlNG · 29/06/2021 22:08

Hmm personally I do raise an eyebrow at men and women who have multiple kids with different partners, personally if it was me and I had 2 kids with 2 different dads and wasn’t with either dad then I personally wouldn’t have another as I wouldn’t want to have 3 kids with 3 different dads but that’s just me 🤷‍♀️

peachyandkeen · 29/06/2021 22:14

So then @LemonRoses what of a parent/parents who have 2-3 adopted children (biologically different parents) but same adopted parent/parents? Are you against this also? Just asking…

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