Multiple fathers and cf yummy mummy

[Anonmummyoftwo]

Iv 2 dc both different dads and I’m not with either dad and honestly the thought of being with either gives me nightmares. At the school gate today someone had a family member’s newborn and this baby melted my heart. So the conversation was centred around babies and one mum asked would I not want another and I said I would love one more and the yummy mummy (actually says this on all her social media profiles) made a comment that I already have 2x2 would I really want a third with someone else. I bit my tongue because kids were around and said I could have 10x10 if I wanted and it’s nothing todo with her I raise my kids myself. Really wanted to tell her to go fuck herself and the only reason her kids have the same dad is because she got pregnant and his family made him marry her, wasn’t a gun held to his head or anything just sort of guilted him as they are very religious.
Iv been with my partner now coming upto four years but friends over 10 he’s no bio kids himself and hes amazing with mine. The kids have no relationship with their bio dads and have both taken to calling him dad and he introduces them to people as his kids.

What’s the issue people have with women having multiple dads for their kids but men can have one in every city in the uk and no one says anything really or at least not to their faces

@Hankunamatata

Well she was rude.

But I don't think its uncommon for people to raise eyebrows if a mum or dad has multiple children by different partners.

Because it's so unusual?

I'd guess it's very unusual for someone to say something of that sort to someone's face, man or woman.

I'd definitely judge a man who went around fathering children with a number of women. In my circle, men don't get a free pass for that, but none of us would be rude enough to give him our opinion.

It’s not having different children with different men it’s having children and them ALL having a different dad, yes relationships don’t work but I don’t understand all your kids having a different dad, you don’t have to have kids with every man you meet.

Rude cow. Tell her you have 2x2 because you have standards and won’t put up with shit men.

She sounds like Amanda off Motherland!!! Channel your inner Meg and tell her to fuck off.

Sinead O'connor had the same problem on women's hour

Yes she is very rude. I would however think a certain way about a man with multiple children all with different mothers and wouldn't want a relationship with one. If DH and I split up I wouldn't want children with a new partner, I know it can work but you see so many horror stories on here about blending, step parents being pitted against bio parents etc, too much hassle for me. Your situation is a bit different in that whilst it's shit that your children's father's have nothing to do with them, it does mean you can just act as one family with your DP and not have to take any other adults into consideration.

@FrankButchersDickieBow my god Motherland is suuuuuch a good show!

Ferociously obnoxious woman.
I expect her husband is probably cheating on her.
Ignore her, your kids have two dead beat sperm doners, not two dads. Their dad is the person raising them now.

Well she's not very yummy, is she?
More like extremely rude mummy.

That was super rude of her to say, especially after asking you if you want anymore!

Its not uncommon to for people to
Think like that, just most people wouldn't say it out loud. I know someone, 3 children by 3 dads, when it comes to weekends,
School Holidays, all 3 separate and go to thier dads, i find that quite sad, to be separated as siblings and not have those memories of being together. Also what happens if the mother passes away, then all 3 kids are separated

We are all judged for one reason or another. Thats a fact of life.

Rightly or wrongly a man or women who has multiple children with multiple partners will raise eyebrows with some people.

Most people would never be rude enough to say it to your face though.

She’s judging what you want to do by having another baby with another man and you’re judging what she already did, by having a baby with someone who you believe had to be talked into marrying her.

Everyone makes judgements. You’re just as spiteful about her life choices.

@peachyandkeen

So then *@LemonRoses* what of a parent/parents who have 2-3 adopted children (biologically different parents) but same adopted parent/parents? Are you against this also? Just asking…

No, because the process involved in being able to adopt is very rigorous. It’s not unplanned and the children are already in need of a family. Children are not usually adopted to casual or unstable relationships. Families adopting are usually very secure emotionally and financially. It’s a tough process to get through.

Older children also have a say in whether they want to be adopted.

I would 100% judge a man with mutliple children to multiple women.

Of course there are reasons that people separate, but there are many many cases where people were obviously mismatched in the first place and still had children together and I think that is sad.

The idea of living away from my children part of the time and sometimes not knowing where they were (there was an earlier thread) or having any say in how they are brought up when with other parent is terrifying to me! I think creating a family is a massive commitment and one that is often taken far too lightly.

None of this is aimed at OP, I don't know your circumstances. But men SHOULD be equal parents and equally committed. The ones that can walk away from their children are nothing short of scum and do not deserve to be part of society.

I would raise my eyebrows a bit at a bloke who had lots of kids by different mothers, but she was absolutely rude AF to you.

She’s judging you you’re judging her.

Perhaps some people only do become bastards after a child but for one person to have 3 x 3 will make some (not all) people think there’s a common denominator. That goes for both sexes.

I mean i wouldn't voice my opinion, but i would wonder if you rushed kids with bad father choices just to have kids, rather than being in genuine long term stable relationships you believed were forever and then planned pregnancies.

One of the mums in my DC class has 6 by 4 fathers, if anything you're falling behind.

What a rude cow. I think women are judged more on this because they actually stick around to raise the children by different men whilst men who do the same thing often have little/no involvement with the kids and they aren’t forthcoming about having kids they barely/never see.

Single mum’s are looked down on when they’re the responsible parent who’s doing all the hard work. It’s fucked up logic and all comes back to sexism. You can see it in the comments on here from posters talking about a women’s judgement on choosing a father.

They say they would judge a man the same way but I don’t believe that. Single mother’s are easier targets because they’re more obvious to spot.

For all those pious fuckwits commenting that it's not for them because it's not the best plan, have you really never thought that you can plan to the nth degree but can't actually control a situation/ outcome/ man becoming a dick?

@AlmostAJillSandwich

I mean i wouldn't voice my opinion, but i would wonder if you rushed kids with bad father choices just to have kids, rather than being in genuine long term stable relationships you believed were forever and then planned pregnancies.

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

oh christ were you being serious ?

@FrankButchersDickieBow

She sounds like Amanda off Motherland!!! Channel your inner Meg and tell her to fuck off.

I was thinking exactly this. What an awful thing for her to say. Her comments say a lot more about her than you.

OP... if you want another Child, you HAVE another Child 🌸