Multiple fathers and cf yummy mummy

[Anonmummyoftwo]

Iv 2 dc both different dads and I’m not with either dad and honestly the thought of being with either gives me nightmares. At the school gate today someone had a family member’s newborn and this baby melted my heart. So the conversation was centred around babies and one mum asked would I not want another and I said I would love one more and the yummy mummy (actually says this on all her social media profiles) made a comment that I already have 2x2 would I really want a third with someone else. I bit my tongue because kids were around and said I could have 10x10 if I wanted and it’s nothing todo with her I raise my kids myself. Really wanted to tell her to go fuck herself and the only reason her kids have the same dad is because she got pregnant and his family made him marry her, wasn’t a gun held to his head or anything just sort of guilted him as they are very religious.
Iv been with my partner now coming upto four years but friends over 10 he’s no bio kids himself and hes amazing with mine. The kids have no relationship with their bio dads and have both taken to calling him dad and he introduces them to people as his kids.

What’s the issue people have with women having multiple dads for their kids but men can have one in every city in the uk and no one says anything really or at least not to their faces

To me, having multiple children by different partners smacks of poor judgement and irresponsibility.

Gosh what a terribly rude and judgemental thing for her to say to you!

Watch Motherland if you haven't all ready and then you might be able to laugh at this situation, she sounds like one of the characters on it.

I have 4 with 3 different fathers. Big age gaps and 2 are now adults . I really don't care what other people think and neither do the older dc . Although no ones been cf enough to mention it

Only time I find this surprising is when either the mother or father has children close in age with different partners e.g less than 4 years. To meet someone new & then decide to have a baby with them within a couple of years, when you have very young children, I do think is irresponsible.

That is unspeakably rude. Even if you feel judgemental about people having children with multiple fathers, you keep that to yourself or talk to your partner privately at home.

@MingeofDeath

To me, having multiple children by different partners smacks of poor judgement and irresponsibility.

If you've had sex with more than three people then it's entirely possible you could have found yourself with three babies by three different men.

I don’t understand why she needed to say it. She sounds like the type of person who is very outspoken and doesn’t have a filter. Those types of people are exhausting and very rude.
And those types of people are the first to kick off if someone shares an unwanted opinion about them.

I don't approve either but wouldn't say so.

Some people make it work. Not for me but we’re all different.

I would judge internally, but would never ever ever say anything like that outloud

Imagine if you shared your opinion about her “Yummy Mummy” persona. Someone like her wouldn’t stand for that. But yet it’s ok for her to share her opinions.

I do raise my eyebrow at men or women with several children, with each child having a different father or mother. For clarification I'm talking 3 and over.

To be honest it makes me question the person's ability to qualify a good partner to have children with. And I also think it can be very confusing for the kids involved.

Thank you for the explanation of why their dads are no longer involved but actually it's no one's business but yours. If you wanted a third it is not up to her or us to judge. If your kids are fed and loved that's all they need!

I know someone with 5 kids by 5 men, she's now with a woman and planning using a mate as a donor to have her 6th baby to be her girlfriends baby. As in, they plan to marry & her wife will adopt the 6th baby.

She openly admits that she wont use contraception, and laughs about the maintenance payments she gets. She states she has these babies so that she knows the dad will have to pay her. Sadly though, she isnt in a good way parenting. 2 of her boys are facing serious criminal issues at just 11 & 10 years old and her soon to be wife, leaves the family home every few weeks saying she cant cope with all the kids.

Social services are involved intermittently and I do judge her because she is thinking about the benefits to herself of having a baby and not the life for the baby squeezed into a tiny 2 bed terrace house too.

I judge peoples lifestyle choices if it affects the kids negatively. If all the kids are happy, well looked after and loved, well then that's awesome and I'm happy for you.

@LittleGwyneth
What a ridiculous comment! Why would you ‘end up pregnant’ if you didn’t intend to -three times!!
Many if us may have had multiple sexual partners but managed to have children with just one.

[quote Pottedpalm]@LittleGwyneth
What a ridiculous comment! Why would you ‘end up pregnant’ if you didn’t intend to -three times!!
Many if us may have had multiple sexual partners but managed to have children with just one.[/quote]
there was no mention of intent

@Nidan2Sandan

I know someone with 5 kids by 5 men, she's now with a woman and planning using a mate as a donor to have her 6th baby to be her girlfriends baby. As in, they plan to marry & her wife will adopt the 6th baby.

She openly admits that she wont use contraception, and laughs about the maintenance payments she gets. She states she has these babies so that she knows the dad will have to pay her. Sadly though, she isnt in a good way parenting. 2 of her boys are facing serious criminal issues at just 11 & 10 years old and her soon to be wife, leaves the family home every few weeks saying she cant cope with all the kids.

Social services are involved intermittently and I do judge her because she is thinking about the benefits to herself of having a baby and not the life for the baby squeezed into a tiny 2 bed terrace house too.

I judge peoples lifestyle choices if it affects the kids negatively. If all the kids are happy, well looked after and loved, well then that's awesome and I'm happy for you.

yeah she must be raking it in.... and laughs about the maintenance payments she gets. She states she has these babies so that she knows the dad will have to pay her.

Yes I am judgemental about men and women having a number of children by different partners

But women are judged more harshly especially if they walk away

I would have loved another child it didn’t suit our circumstances and wouldn’t have been right for ds. Many people just think I want x amount of children we don’t always get what we want that’s life

As much as we like to think ex partners can get on and all runs smoothly it rarely does and so few women receive support from ex partners so why complicate your life and your children’s lives just because you have fallen in love (men and women)

How does yummy
Mummy know who your kids Biological Dads are? If your partner is being called Dad ? I wouldn't worry crack on, but does DP want kids? Maybe get married first? I don't mean that as a judgement, I'm unmarried and have 2, but just from a security point.

@HouseOfFire no idea if she is raking it in or not. I doubt it as I know 2 of the dads dont work. She seems to like it as more of a "I'm getting one over them by making them have to pay me for 18 years" like I mean she will literally laugh about them having to pay her like it's a jolly good joke.

I don't get it, I really dont. But then I dont understand why she is trying to have a baby with a donor, to be adopted by a woman she isnt married to yet, who never seems to last more than a couple of weeks in the house at a time for moaning about her kids being too hard to deal with?? To me, it seems risky & just immature.

@Pottedpalm all having three baby daddies means it that you've had sex with three different people. Which most of us have.

Also, no contraception is fool proof, so yes it is perfectly possible that you could have three accidents.

[quote LittleGwyneth]@Pottedpalm all having three baby daddies means it that you've had sex with three different people. Which most of us have.

Also, no contraception is fool proof, so yes it is perfectly possible that you could have three accidents.[/quote]
I think having three children with three different fathers ‘means’ a great deal more than that you have had sex with three people.
THREE accidents! Surely you would learn after one. If you really don’t want to get pregnant you can be very meticulous and double up bu using condoms too. It’s way too casual to just think you have to keep producing children. Unless, of course, that’s what you actively choose and you can support them without recourse to the state.