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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Multiple fathers and cf yummy mummy

249 replies

Anonmummyoftwo · 29/06/2021 21:22

Iv 2 dc both different dads and I’m not with either dad and honestly the thought of being with either gives me nightmares. At the school gate today someone had a family member’s newborn and this baby melted my heart. So the conversation was centred around babies and one mum asked would I not want another and I said I would love one more and the yummy mummy (actually says this on all her social media profiles) made a comment that I already have 2x2 would I really want a third with someone else. I bit my tongue because kids were around and said I could have 10x10 if I wanted and it’s nothing todo with her I raise my kids myself. Really wanted to tell her to go fuck herself and the only reason her kids have the same dad is because she got pregnant and his family made him marry her, wasn’t a gun held to his head or anything just sort of guilted him as they are very religious.
Iv been with my partner now coming upto four years but friends over 10 he’s no bio kids himself and hes amazing with mine. The kids have no relationship with their bio dads and have both taken to calling him dad and he introduces them to people as his kids.

What’s the issue people have with women having multiple dads for their kids but men can have one in every city in the uk and no one says anything really or at least not to their faces

OP posts:
Howcanthisbe123 · 29/06/2021 23:56

I’m one of four kids, 3 different dads, it’s not great and I don’t agree with it. It just shows recklessness and that you make bad choices when it comes to men. Not 2 kids by two dads, but anymore then yes.

ViciousJackdaw · 29/06/2021 23:57

Tell her you've actually got three DC and five different fathers Wink

Taliskerskye · 29/06/2021 23:59

I would probably judge you a bit. I wouldn’t say it to your face.
My best friends mum had 3 kids by 3 different dads. And it’s a bit grimey if I’m honest and I know the mum well.

QueenBee52 · 30/06/2021 00:01

@Howcanthisbe123

I’m one of four kids, 3 different dads, it’s not great and I don’t agree with it. It just shows recklessness and that you make bad choices when it comes to men. Not 2 kids by two dads, but anymore then yes.

your own statement is bizarre ..

do you reprimand your choices every night in the mirror.. I hope not because you really shouldn't..

and you have your beautiful kids.. 🌸

Howcanthisbe123 · 30/06/2021 00:03

I’m saying my mother has four kids by 3 dads. Not that I have them.

And yes, her character is questionable and her decision in men way more so!!

Howcanthisbe123 · 30/06/2021 00:04

Only one of us, my brother, sees his dad, the rest of us don’t, because they are wankers, she chose shit men, all whom have also served time in prison....says it all!

Onlyfoolsandfathers · 30/06/2021 00:04

Very rude of her. Like that awful blonde woman from Motherland. She can't be very popular making comments like that. Ignore.

PumpkinKlNG · 30/06/2021 00:04

For all those pious fuckwits commenting that it's not for them because it's not the best plan, have you really never thought that you can plan to the nth degree but can't actually control a situation/ outcome/ man becoming a dick?

But you don’t keep making the same mistake do you? If you have two from two different men who were both dicks then go on to have another with another man why would you take the risk again? You don’t have to keep having kids with men, you can stop at 2. It comes to a point where you can’t keep blaming the men.

QueenBee52 · 30/06/2021 00:05

@Howcanthisbe123

I’m saying my mother has four kids by 3 dads. Not that I have them.

And yes, her character is questionable and her decision in men way more so!!

Aahhh okay 😂

I understand lol 🌸

OuiOuiKitty · 30/06/2021 00:05

*your own statement is bizarre ..

do you reprimand your choices every night in the mirror.. I hope not because you really shouldn't..

and you have your beautiful kids.. 🌸*

You need to read properly.

I wouldn't say it to your face but I would be surprised that you would want to have a third kid by a third man tbh. I would be equally surprised if a man wanted that.

Onlyfoolsandfathers · 30/06/2021 00:06

It comes to a point where you can’t keep blaming the men.

Why do you need to blame someone?

Howcanthisbe123 · 30/06/2021 00:08

It’s funny though because all us children are now grown adults and all of us apart from one, are in long term relationships 12 years plus.

Micemakingclothes · 30/06/2021 00:08

Men having children with partner after partner is inexcusable. There is no way they can properly parent children from that many households with that many custody arrangements.

peachyandkeen · 30/06/2021 00:10

@PumpkinKlNG

For all those pious fuckwits commenting that it's not for them because it's not the best plan, have you really never thought that you can plan to the nth degree but can't actually control a situation/ outcome/ man becoming a dick?

But you don’t keep making the same mistake do you? If you have two from two different men who were both dicks then go on to have another with another man why would you take the risk again? You don’t have to keep having kids with men, you can stop at 2. It comes to a point where you can’t keep blaming the men.

"You don't have to keep having kids with men, you can stop at 2". But what if you WANT to have more kids? And with more men?

And what if one of your partners died which is why you are in that situation?

This isn't my situation (no DC here), but just curious to know what you think.

Howcanthisbe123 · 30/06/2021 00:10

@Onlyfoolsandfathers

It comes to a point where you can’t keep blaming the men.

Why do you need to blame someone?

Because someone has to be responsible for children as they are too young to do it themselves, that’s normally the parents.
UhtredRagnarson · 30/06/2021 00:16

What’s the issue people have with women having multiple dads for their kids but men can have one in every city in the uk and no one says anything really or at least not to their faces

I’ve definitely heard people make comments about men having lots of children with different women. Not positive comments.

PumpkinKlNG · 30/06/2021 00:16

Well if you want to continue to keep having kids then that’s fine but people will judge.

PumpkinKlNG · 30/06/2021 00:17

People judge men as well, I wouldn’t date a man with multiple kids to multiple women.

Lbnc2021 · 30/06/2021 00:23

Sorry if it’s been mentioned already but how old is your eldest child OP?

Taliskerskye · 30/06/2021 00:24

I’d judge a man more btw

Lbnc2021 · 30/06/2021 00:27

Ah I’ve just seen from another thread that your eldest is 6, the next one is 5 and your ex had to see them under supervision. So in 6 years your eldest has had 3 men in their life. Nah I think you should put your existing kids first, sounds like you’ve got better things to worry about than what someone at the school gates thinks.

Holowiwi · 30/06/2021 00:29

To me it shows recklessness and irresponsibility (depending on the circumstances) especially with the abundance of contraception available. Personally I wouldn't say anything and would keep my opinion to myself unless asked.

OrrisRoot · 30/06/2021 00:34

@notmethenwho

Wow she was RUDE
This. Breathtakingly rude.
DeflatedGinDrinker · 30/06/2021 00:48

3 kids by 3 dads would make me think they have really poor judgement tbf. Unless they are widowed. My mum has kids by 2 men she definately had/has shit taste in men.

Bootskates · 30/06/2021 00:52

I know someone that has 3 kids by 3 dads, I don't judge her though.

First one was her first serious relationship, he cheated on her when DC was about 1. Then 2nd one was just a cocklodger that wanted a roof over his head. 3rd one she is still with now and they are very happy.

I would never judge her for being cheated on or used. I only commend her for getting out of those unhappy situations.

Couldn't do it myself though, it's hard enough dealing with one ex with a child involved.

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