AIBU to expect female only nurses on a gynae ward?

[PanamaPattie]

My vulnerable elderly aunt has recently had an hysterectomy for ovarian cancer. During a telephone call, she became very upset because she had her catheter taken out and was helped to shower by a male nurse. She didn't feel that she could complain as she was afraid of repercussions.

Am I being unreasonable to expect female only care on a gynae ward - considering the intimate and invasive nature of care?

You poor aunt, what an awful experience for her. Yadnbu.

She can request a female nurse . You should support her to do this .

Nurse is a nurse.

If she didn't want her catheter taken out by a male nurse she could have said so before he started.

Sorry didn't send my full message!

I imagine this wasn't a nice experience and sad she didn't feel able to say no . I wouldn't want that either . I'd have refused but awful she felt she couldn't

Yes you are... with the current staffing shortages.. (nhs profession here) it's a shame to not have a female nurse but it's just the way it is

YABU to expect only female nurses, but YANBU to think that if your relative wanted a female nurse they should have complied with her wishes. Unfortunately if she doesn't speak up and make her wishes known then they aren't to know that she didn't wish to be cared for by a male nurse.

YABU. She has every right to request a female nurse but there’s nothing wrong with a male nurse providing intimate care so long as the patient is happy with it.

I feel it would be appropriate to let patients know they can request a female staff member to help with personal care, but that they may need to wait.

But I do think it's unreasonable to expect to only staff the ward with females.

I’m sorry to hear about your aunts diagnosis. I had my surgery for the same 6 months ago and I wish her well.

Was she being unreasonable? No. Absolutely not. And all the more so as she’s from the days when things were different.

I can still recall my late grandmas horror many decades ago when she was admitted to hospital as an emergency and found herself on a mixed word. She didn’t like it either.

I was more shocked when I found myself on a mixed ward ( obviously non- gynae)
Most of us are used to not minding if a medical professional is male or female, but I do feel there should be a choice given wrt intimate care , before we enter a hospital environment. I know once I am in a hospital environment I feel a lot more vulnerable and find it hard to be assertive.

Should men be cared for by male only nurses? How does that work if there isn’t enough available? What about male doctors, are they ok?

You aunt can request a female nurse, especially if being treated by a male would cause her distress... but a nurse being male does not mean your aunt will not be treated with care and respect.
I did placement during theatre nurse (ODP) training in gynae and all the surgeons were male.

Yabu. She could have asked for a female nurse.

Personally it wouldn’t bother me. I’ve had male midwives and doctors during the birth of my children and didn’t think anything of it.

My experience has been that a lot of men do prefer being cared for by male nurses. However because there are so few of them, they never get that choice - they just get what they are given.

Not unreasonable in request. But unreasonable that she didn't just ask. It's her right to ask and feel comfortable and I'm sure male clinicians in obs and gyns are used to it. She should have just asked.

All patients have the right to request care from someone of the same biological sex as them - it may not always be possible but the reasons should be explained and options offered. No NHS staff would want patients to feel uncomfortable and would do their best to accommodate requests and ensure dignity and comfort etc. It's worth advocating for your aunt and explain gin to the ward manager that she would rather that intimate care is given by female staff only.

I don't think you could possibly never have male staff working though - intimate care happens on all wards, many surgical patients would need catheter care too for eg.

I personally remember the only male nurse working on the gynae ward I was admitted to after a horrible pregnancy loss - he took the time to sit with me and let me talk and was v reassuring and quick to administer pain relief. I had no problem with him caring for me and was rather glad he did.

I'm sorry your relative was uncomfortable and didn't feel able to speak out. Please do raise these concerns.

Taking out a catheter is a lot less invasive than putting it in - you just deflate the bubble with a syringe and pull it out. He wasn't actually sticking his hand up there you know.

Male nurses gotta do what any nurse does. It's literally his job! If she wasn't comfortable she needed to have said so.

@44PumpLane

I feel it would be appropriate to let patients know they can request a female staff member to help with personal care, but that they may need to wait.

But I do think it's unreasonable to expect to only staff the ward with females.

I agree. The female patients should be asked if they mind having a male nurse for intimate care.

YABU to want the ward to inly have female staff but patients should have a choice of male/female/no preference for personal care and this should be done at booking in where possible so that the patients wishes are clear from the start. When it comes to intimate care, patient dignity and comfort should be at the forefront.

Had a male midwife in the past. It didn't phase me. But appreciate not everyone is as accepting.

YANU to expect female only staffing on a gynae ward, however you can request that she is showered and cared for by a female nurse and that request will be accommodated if staffing levels allow. The quality of care and dignity afforded won’t be any different but it’s made her feel uncomfortable so by all means make the request.

it s awful she didn't feel able to ask for a preferable female nurse for intimate cares but it s unreasonable to only expect female nurses on a gynae ward.
out of interest were her dr s and surgeons anaesthetists all female ?

Presumably you also don’t agree with male midwives , a male nurse is a professional person doing his job and I can’t see the problem . If your aunt only wants to be dealt with by female staff then she needs to speak up .

I wouldn't be happy at all.
Any sort of treatment where I'm unclothed I want a female.

@HarrisMcCoo

Had a male midwife in the past. It didn't phase me. But appreciate not everyone is as accepting.

Me too. I absolutely didn’t mind when I was admitted but I was very uncomfortable by the end of his shift. I would request a female in future.