AIBU to expect female only nurses on a gynae ward?

[PanamaPattie]

My vulnerable elderly aunt has recently had an hysterectomy for ovarian cancer. During a telephone call, she became very upset because she had her catheter taken out and was helped to shower by a male nurse. She didn't feel that she could complain as she was afraid of repercussions.

Am I being unreasonable to expect female only care on a gynae ward - considering the intimate and invasive nature of care?

I've had 4 dc, never met a female gynae/obstetrics yet.

@TheCanyon

I've had 4 dc, never met a female gynae/obstetrics yet.

That's funny, I've had two ELCS and both my children were delivered by female obs. And I didn't specifically request female HCP's.

Females have legitimate reasons to fear unknown males when they are in vulnerable situations.

Yes completely, but also I might just not want a man looking at, or touching my bits! Doesn't have to be because of fear of men, or past trauma, or religious affiliation. Neither should I EVER have to justify myself for wanting only to be treated by a fellow person of the female sex

It's ironic those working within healthcare settings, yet professing not to understand. After all, are there not female and male only toilet facilities within healthcare settings? Why's that then? Why do virtually ALL women prefer to use the ones designated for their sex? Half the time the men's are empty!

Thank you @DysonSphere I didn’t know that about Ferritin. My level is 15 ug / L and they said it was fine... that might be why my hairs falling out!

I’m sorry about your relative OP! I think she should have been asked if she would prefer a female.

Not RTFT.

Given the fact that loads of people don't feel, for whatever reason, able to advocate for themselves.

I think it would be best to ask when booking in/ or getting onto the ward.

This applies to both men and women obv.

@TheCanyon

I've had 4 dc, never met a female gynae/obstetrics yet.

Crikey!

What about the midwife/ midwives?

When I had my kids the nurses and midwives and care assistants were all female.

When it went tits up and I needed an emergency CS then there were men involved.

I'm really surprised, what part of the country are you in?

As a previous ovarian cancer patient that YANBU. I have never felt more vulnerable in my life. Walk a day in her shoes and report back.

[quote Cheshirewife]@VerticalHorizon

I completely understand your point but I worry about its limits. My old auntie (now dead) was a product of her time/upbringing and held some quite racist views. I’m sure she’d have been uncomfortable with a black nurse attending to her, but that’s not to say we should be giving people like that a choice![/quote]
A woman who fears or dislikes the thought of proximity to a black woman is a racist. A woman who fears or dislikes the thought of proximity to a man when she is in a vulnerable state (undressed, in a toilet or a hospital ward) is expressing a reasonable suspicion that a male stranger may pose a danger to her, or may have dishonorable motives for being there. Sorry, don't mean to insult male nurses/HCPs, but there is no equivalence here. Men as a sex class pose a risk to women as a sex class. Women do not threaten other women, whatever their race.

@junipertree2 I was struggling to eloquently answer that point and you've done it perfectly.

@TidyOmlette

She can certainly ask for female only personal help but depending on staff availability she might not be able to receive it.

It’s completely unreasonable to expect only female staff.

What on earth makes it unreasonable? The more I think about it, the more I am convinced providers have a responsibility to address the problem.

Not doing so is a failure to consider each person’s needs and preferences, a failure to plan an effective skills mix and staffing, a failure to safeguard the vulnerable. All things laid down in law.

There is no shortage of female nurses compared to men. Women far outnumber males in nursing.

If it was about performing a gastroscopy and only a man was qualified and available, that’s very, very different. Helping someone shower is something every nurse of any grade can do. It’s not a highly technical task. It’s nothing to do with staff availability and everything to do with not bothering to empathise (at individual staff level), manage effectively at ward level, nor apply reasonable governance at organisational level.

I've been thinking about it too and I think the NHS should be actively incentivising for women to become obs/gynaecologists as well, and not just ensuring that the nurses/HCA's are female

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind. It’s not the NHS, it’s the training pathway. Very un-women friendly. Actually, very un-reasonable person friendly.
There should be a greater effort to encourage more but many young women want something outside of medicine and some are thinking of families. My daughter is a GP rather than the paediatrician she really wanted to be to allow her some degree of control over her life and some job security.
She’s very young at 28, a gynaecologist would have another couple of years training at least and still need to be moving around to follow training jobs. Assuming they managed to get one. Then they’d not usually walk into a consultant post immediately. They’d still be doing on-calls and rota. That’s a big ask of anyone but particularly of women.

That's understandable LemonRoses. It should definitely be easier for women.

As a pp said, medicine has always been the domain of men, and they've never wanted to make it easier for women in anything, have they.

I'd have thought she has the right to a suitable female chaperone that she herself approves of.

The hospital management has failed her. She should have been offered a female chaperone. This could be an employment opportunity for female volunteers or paid nurse-helpers in all female wards not only gynae wards..