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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Huge row with sister on holiday

221 replies

Honey12346 · 23/06/2021 15:45

I'm on holiday with sister and cousin and we are going today to a small cute little island to spend two nights there. I have booked us a rent a car for this that I have paid (I can afford it) to make our lives easier, rather than taking the bus...

My cousin has went to pick up the car as she is driving and they asked for a security deposit that she cannot afford. She called my sister and I overheard the conversation. Instead of asking me if I can pay for the security deposit they started discussing can they cancel the car etc. So basically acting as if I'm not going on this trip, not even asking for my input. When I could solve this problem in 2 seconds as I can afford the deposit!

Then I overheard my sister saying the fact that I even booked this car was stressful for her???

So let me get this straight, I have booked and paid for a car and my cousin is driving. All my sister literally has to do is sit in the car and this is stressful for her???

I ran out after hearing this and I am now sitting in a park crying. My sister is calling me.

Yabu - I did something wrong
Yanbu - my sister is being a bitch

OP posts:
Thegoodandbadlife · 23/06/2021 23:35

I can’t believe some of the comments your getting. It is a bit strange that instead of you, your cousin rang your sister about the deposit instead of you who hired the car unless they felt bad after you forked out on the rental you needed to fork out more although maybe there could have been an ulterior motive too. Yes it is was wrong of you to storm out like you did but it seems this was the final straw after multiple incidents with your sister hence the reaction. When you get back, relax and enjoy some time to yourself and think about is it worth all the drama with your sister and how close a relationship you want when sadly from experience how they treat you isn’t going to change. Hope you get back safely and patch up things or free yourself of the drama from the mean girls.

2Rebecca · 23/06/2021 23:45

Car rental places always ask for extras though. If I intended to pay for a car I would always go to collect it even if I couldn't/ wouldn't drive. I dislike driving on holiday though so wouldn't see it as a treat if someone expected me to drive them round somewhere unfamiliar. Also threesomes are rarely a good idea. They nearly always end up 2 v 1. I would never go on holiday with just 2 family members

Bluntness100 · 23/06/2021 23:46

@RandomCatGenerator

OP has not replied about age. They’re all clearly very young.

This is so dramatic.

Agree and I think she doesn’t wish to admit it. 🤷‍♀️
Gallowayan · 24/06/2021 00:04

No good deed goes unpunished.

timeisnotaline · 24/06/2021 00:08

@PiuVinoPerFavore

All sounds like there's a backstory and all a bit daft. But general rule, 2 out of 3 votes wins and maybe they didn't want the car. You might have seen it as a good thing you could pay for but they might not have. Think you need to pack in the sisters holidays... sisters holidays with one other person is a recipe for disaster
Well, except they’ve driven off in it. So they kind of did want it! At least they paid the deposit. And op can disappear out of their life.
LizzieW1969 · 24/06/2021 00:24

I think the sister wasn’t stressed by the car, she was stressed by the OP. The mistake was the two of them thinking that it was a good idea to go on holiday together.

NeonDreams · 24/06/2021 00:48

I've never understood this UK obsession with holidaying with sisters, cousins, aunts, PILs etc, to me that is a recipe for absolute disaster. Here it's either nuclear or holiday alone. Maybe with a friend, but generally holidays and friendships don't mix, so.... Same with families and holidays. Never lend money to families and friends. Never holiday with families (except spouse/partner and children) and friends. Golden Rule. Aren't you able to holiday on your own, OP? You'd have so much more fun, do what you want, when you want, etc. It sounds like your sister and cousin take you and your money for granted. I'd definitely leave, and holiday elsewhere, in peace, quiet and solitude. Which, after all, is what holidays are meant to be for.

NeonDreams · 24/06/2021 00:56

Why didn't you pay for the security deposit AT THE SAME TIME as you paid for the hire of the car? Surely they would have told you upfront the cost of hire and security deposit. So why pay one, and not the other?

Regardless, you are better off away from them holidaying with family/friends causes family splits and is simply not worth it. Enjoy your holiday by yourself where you can get up when you want, go where you want, make your own decisions, do want you want, stay out as long as you want, etc etc. Let them make each other miserable. You're the winner here as you are now answerable to no one.

NeonDreams · 24/06/2021 01:03

The back story is that's how my sister has been treating me my whole life, always talking about me as if I'm not there and ignoring me

And you CHOOSE to go on holiday with her? Knowing how she treats you?

Shock Confused

Rno3gfr · 24/06/2021 01:06

You’ve done nothing wrong. Seems like a case of embarrassment on their behalf.

Bythemillpond · 24/06/2021 01:57

But general rule, 2 out of 3 votes wins and maybe they didn't want the car

But then took it and left the person who paid for it behind.
That is dreadful behaviour.

They also were more interested in bitching about the security deposit and ignoring op who had said she would pay for it.

I doubt op will be seeing her sisters again. I wonder without her there who they will decide to gripe about. These people always like a scapegoat

Mandalay246 · 24/06/2021 02:25

YANBU, and your sister is an ungrateful brat. Next time hire a car for yourself and let her take the bus.

mamafromthedeepsouth · 24/06/2021 02:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

1forAll74 · 24/06/2021 03:37

None of this is very grown up behaviour, things not properly sorted, and you crying in some park, all whilst on a holiday !

Ophanim · 24/06/2021 05:10

venus22

YABU for describing an island as 'small cute little' and stating 'my sister has went'......teeth itchingly annoying and incorrect grammar.
It all sounds tedious, to be frank.......
Oh...and you didn't mention; can you afford it?!

Don't be a dick.

Looubylou · 24/06/2021 07:32

Do they need to pay for a ferry to and from the island now as well, or had you paid for that in advance as well?

RandomCatGenerator · 24/06/2021 08:19

@Mrgrinch

OP also hasn't said what she shouted at them as she ran out the door crying. Clearly it was bad enough for them to leave her behind so perhaps she ought to reflect that on what she said.
Very good point!
thisplaceisweird · 24/06/2021 08:20

Agree on the grammar being teeth itching! Maybe I'm a language nerd but "my sister has gone" and "my sister went" are very different tenses, which puts the scenario at different points in time. The tenses are all over the place and it's annoying to read

Bythemillpond · 24/06/2021 11:15

RandomCatGenerator

Maybe shouting was the only way to communicate as her saying she would pay the security deposit fell on deaf ears

KatherineJaneway · 24/06/2021 13:30

@Honey12346

You said you were leaving before they get back. If you paid for the car, any accidental damage done to it or fees for returning it late might also be charged to your card.

toocold54 · 25/06/2021 19:01

Have you sorted things out with your sister yet OP?

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