To put my baby in nursery when I’m off work?

[Babymeanswashing]

I am a teacher, and will be working full time from September.

Nursery have offered two options. One is pay for term time only. DH wants to go down this road.

Second option is to pay 50% fees in school holidays, meaning baby can go 50% of the time.

I’d like to go for the second option, even though it’s more expensive. It would just give me a chance to get stuff done!

What would you do? I don’t think either of us are unreasonable, but I’m wondering what the consensus is.

I think the odd day here and there with you off work and baby in nursery, fine. Doing it for about 6w of the year honestly makes me feel a little sad for your little one. It's very much a personal decision though, but no, I wouldn't do it myself.

I’d go for the 50% option. That way you can get all of your jobs done and have a bit of a break when your baby is not there and then do something special with them the rest of the time. Also your baby may well love going to the nursery; and it is a good routine for them.

I did one day a week in nursery on a day I wasn't working so that I could get lots done and then just play on the other days.

I'm not a teacher and work full time but with my first child we had full time childcare for 50 weeks of the year for her - to be honest it started to grate on me that we paid for time she wasn't there (childminder) - working full time and being out of the house 730-630 mon-fri meant I hardly saw her during the week and would have felt so guilty about sending her to childcare if I had a day off (unless it was specifically to get a job done - like a hospital appointment or something)

I now have 5 month old twins and they are in term time only full time childcare. I look forward to the "school" holidays so we can spend quality time together

The guilt would eat me alive if I sent them so I could catch up on sleep/housework etc. They are only little for such a short time and change/grow up so quickly I don't want to miss anything if I can help it

@Babyboomtastic

I think the odd day here and there with you off work and baby in nursery, fine. Doing it for about 6w of the year honestly makes me feel a little sad for your little one. It's very much a personal decision though, but no, I wouldn't do it myself.

I know and I totally hear this.

I was envisioning shorter days than normal, so maybe drop off at around 930 and picked up at 3. It’s just difficult as otherwise I’ll literally never get a break, but I feel mean saying that!

I’m a baby room manager and would recommend you keep the 50% in the holidays so your baby has continuity of care and doesn’t need to resettle come September. Under 3 years, term time is a nightmare for staff because it unsettles very young children so much having the big summer break.

I'm a teacher. Mine are in term time only but then if I need a day or two in the holidays, I book them in for those extra days. It's definitely cheaper to only pay term time only for us.

@PragmaticWench

I did one day a week in nursery on a day I wasn't working so that I could get lots done and then just play on the other days.

I did this as well - I think quite a lot of people do. Think that's quite a similar amount of days to 50 percent of school holidays?

I'd definitely go for the 50 percent. Otherwise they'll be out of nursery for 6 weeks and you'll have to resettle them in September!

otherwise I’ll literally never get a break

That's parenting and working though tbh. It's kind of what it is.

To have 6w a year to yourself is an amazing luxury, and tbh many of us are probably half jealous of you because it's not something parents usually get, but I still wouldn't do it.

Personally, I'd go for term time only, but see if nursery are willing to just do extra hours very occasionally - the odd day rather than weeks and weeks of it.

I would do term time only in this situation

I have a daughter who is a teacher and I know what her workload is like in the school holidays, she doesn't have children but if/when she does I would advise her to go with the 50% option

I agree about continuity. I'm not a teacher so this was never an option for me, but when my two were babies I found even two weeks off nursery for a family holiday made for a tricky period of settling back in when they went back to nursery. I can't imagine how it would be if they were off for 6 weeks in a row.

I would do 50%

I'd do the 50% so there's no need to resettle.
My LO is in 2 days, 1 being on a day I'm off.
I needed that break to get stuff done and for myself.
It's not mean to say that, we all need to have abit time to ourselves.
Both you and your DC will only be gaining from it.

Will he be taking off any time during the holidays to look after the baby himself? If he’s willing to do that, then that could potentially be the best solution, and give you some time off

Teacher here, my kids are in term time only, but closer to the holidays I call nursery and arrange a few days they can go in and pay extra for those days. 5 weeks of no nursery would be then hard to resettle and as teachers we need some down time, especially this year!

You DH is being unreasonable. You will need some time to do prep work as a teacher and a break. I bet he takes holidays in term time when he can just enjoy a relaxing holiday.

Some mummy martyrs here. Go for the 50% option, you won't need to resettle after the summer, you get a break and you don't need to even use as much as the 50% if you don't want to. Your little one will enjoy the extra time as it is even if they continue to go in a couple of days a week.

Do the 50%. Your mental health is important too and just because not everyone has the option of having childcare on days they don’t work doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.

They’ll be happy and settled in nursery and it would be more upheaval to have to resettle every September too.

I'd definitely go for option 2, because you don't want your little one to lose the habit of going to nursery in the long summer break then have to settle in all over again. The extra time at home will be very helpful for you to get big household jobs done, see friends and family, self care etc. Being a teacher is more than a full time job during term time. So give yourself the breaks you have earned them!

And when your dh takes annual leave will he be keeping dc at home with him?

It’s just difficult as otherwise I’ll literally never get a break, but I feel mean saying that!

Well yes that's parenthood for you? 9-3 in my opinion is still too long when you are "off"?

Honestly you are so lucky to have school holidays anyway rather than stress/scrap around/beg family to help when between you and your partner you don't have enough annual leave to cover them all. Not to mention the cost saving (lots of nurseries/childminders in my area will only allow teachers to have term time contracts everyone else has to have a full year one (I only got one because I have twins and so the cost is horrendous as it is)

Go for the 50% option OP. You need and deserve a break too.

Don't listen to people on here saying you're guilty for wanting a break. These are the same people who are still breastfeeding at two years old, still don't have a child who sleeps through the night at four years old and wonder why they are emotionally and physically exhausted. And probably don't work full time either.

Some mummy martyrs here.

No, it's not about being a martyr. I just really enjoy spending time with my children and think the holidays are a great opportunity to spend time together if the OP is working.

Prep stuff can always be done in an evening/with dad taking time off too.

As I said though, everyone is different. It's a very individual decision.

I’d personally rather have more time with my child and get nothing done so I’d do term time. Not sure what stuff needs doing, if it’s housework it’ll wait but different if you are renovating the house for example.