To put my baby in nursery when I’m off work?

[Babymeanswashing]

I am a teacher, and will be working full time from September.

Nursery have offered two options. One is pay for term time only. DH wants to go down this road.

Second option is to pay 50% fees in school holidays, meaning baby can go 50% of the time.

I’d like to go for the second option, even though it’s more expensive. It would just give me a chance to get stuff done!

What would you do? I don’t think either of us are unreasonable, but I’m wondering what the consensus is.

I'd go for 50/50 as well as it then gives you the flexibility to either use it or not.
Myself and my partner both work full time and we've used nurseries for both of ours since the age of 7 months. They loved it and they both have an equally strong bond with me and their Dad. We give each other time to ourselves and we also outsource everything we can like cleaning and the garden.
I'm not a fan of the notion that women have to sacrifice their sense of self when they have children. I would rather model equality and independence to my children, especially as they are both girls.
I treat so many mums with depression and anxiety and I think a lot of it stems from the unrealistic expectations mums put on themselves and also the pressure society puts on them.
I don't buy into any of it to be honest. I'm happy and content in my life and choices and I would encourage you to be the same.

Didn't you know, OP, that you are a mother now, and that means:

Your baby comes first, ALWAYS. Even if what suits you also suits your baby.

Nurseries are evil places and only truly BAD MOTHERS would use them (but never fathers, they have to go to worky work because they are so cwever, yes they are)

Missing even a millisecond of your child's development is THE WORST THING in the world because they aren't little long, soon they will be pain in the arse teenagers and you can look forward to that

You'll sleep when you're dead, what more do you want?

I like saving money so would go for term time only and see if they'll do ad hoc days here and there. I think your child will be happy either way!

We're both teachers and had to pay childminder 50% in school hols. They could still attend.

DH used to refuse to send them & I wish I had been a bit more assertive - I think one day a week or a couple of mornings would have helped me just stay sane after a year of teaching.

I do think all those that say they are modelling working/ balance for their daughters forget that a) children do not have adult perspective and b) they will not grow up to copy you, they’ll do the opposite of whatever you do in most cases regardless of the option you take. SAHM? She’ll probably turn into a junior doctor 😏

My mum was a teacher. As a kid I just saw she missed every single play/ assembly/ early parents evening and never picked me up. I never did after after school clubs etc. As an adult I saw an inflexible job and stressed weekdays/ tired weekends and still didn’t want to copy the model. I wanted flexible working/ part time and to have some time being like mums/ dads I was jealous of as a child! I never thought ‘oh cool career woman, what a role model’. Neither did she at the end if it all tbh either. I did though relish the holidays when she was human and fun again.

@TheViewFromTheCheapSeats
I agree, my childhood my Dad worked as a police officer and I remembered him working a lot of shifts and rarely being able to pick us up from school etc I remember him staying up from night shift to look after us until my Mother came in from work. My Mother had flexible hours for childcare as they had no help from family and I remember her being there all/most of the time. I felt very lucky. My mother was very honest with re needing flexibility for childcare and that her and my dad discussed all options re raising a family, jobs, money and holidays etc and what would be best for our family.
Every family is different, everyone has different careers, finances etc.

In a way I have modelled my parents as I found they managed to have a good balance. I'm the one with shift work (flexible working with the option to earn extra doing extra shifts) and my husband works during the week but works flexi hours so can start and finish work earlier and later.

Every families is different and to those saying "ignore the mummy martyrs who want their kids attached to them 24/7" and other ridiculous assertions, look at the thread, overwhelmingly in favour of 50 percent.
We don't like nurseries for reasons I gave before (I worked in many pre uni and would never put a baby in one) I still keep up my hobbies, run a few times a week, go away for nights on my own (we give each other time as no family help). We both work, yes finances took a hit but doing great now thankfully.

It's ok for someone to say they don't think nurseries are good for under 3's, it's ok to have a different opinion to others. As I said before most posters are totally in favour of nurseries on this thread so it's not as though there's loads of ppl guilt tripping the op. I think it's so important for parents to have a break especially if they don't get any support from family.

But not using nurseries from a young age doesn't equate to being a burnt out martyr, that's a comforting narrative for some but it simply doesn't in a lot of cases.

@TheViewFromTheCheapSeats

I do think all those that say they are modelling working/ balance for their daughters forget that a) children do not have adult perspective and b) they will not grow up to copy you, they’ll do the opposite of whatever you do in most cases regardless of the option you take. SAHM? She’ll probably turn into a junior doctor 😏

My mum was a teacher. As a kid I just saw she missed every single play/ assembly/ early parents evening and never picked me up. I never did after after school clubs etc. As an adult I saw an inflexible job and stressed weekdays/ tired weekends and still didn’t want to copy the model. I wanted flexible working/ part time and to have some time being like mums/ dads I was jealous of as a child! I never thought ‘oh cool career woman, what a role model’. Neither did she at the end if it all tbh either. I did though relish the holidays when she was human and fun again.

I take it that's aimed at me? I am a Doctor. And my Mum worked. I had a lovely childhood and I don't remember crying into my cornflakes about her not being at sports days or whatever. I'm now senior enough that I do have flexibility to make my work pattern suit my families needs even though I also work a bit more than full time. My husband is the same. I hope for the same work and family life satisfaction for my daughters.