To put my baby in nursery when I’m off work?

[Babymeanswashing]

I am a teacher, and will be working full time from September.

Nursery have offered two options. One is pay for term time only. DH wants to go down this road.

Second option is to pay 50% fees in school holidays, meaning baby can go 50% of the time.

I’d like to go for the second option, even though it’s more expensive. It would just give me a chance to get stuff done!

What would you do? I don’t think either of us are unreasonable, but I’m wondering what the consensus is.

So you DO do pretty much what I’ve said then and not all school holidays are family time

I was teaching when the kids were nursery age and I did almost this so they did 3 days a week term time 1.5 day aweek in the hols. In reality there were days that I didn't take them due to being away etc but it works really well and kept them settled. On the days they were in I did the house work and went running, meant that I didn't have to do that in the weekends and we had more family time. I'd definitely do it, I also picked them up earlier than I would have done when at work. Teaching is so all consuming that you need a bit of down time and also you'll know from work how hard settling back in to school/nursery after a break would be for some children.

You have the opportunity to have school holidays off with them which I think a lot of parents would love to do!

Every teacher I know, and so many who post on MN will tell you that they do not have holiday the whole time the schools are closed, that they need to work a lot of the time. They will also tell you that they work every evening til late and most of the weekend. So a little child free time over the holidays will help them do other stuff they don't get time for in term time.

This comes up every time teachers salaries are discussed, when people say 'but they get so many holidays'. Most teachers will say they can't take all the holidays as they have so much work to do.

I think for all the complaints on here it would help if people’s comprehension skills improved!

lola the problem is you are determinedly arguing about something that was never going to happen!
I'm not though.
You're suggesting 2 days a week, which is just under half the week.
The school holidays are 13 weeks.
Half of the holidays would be 6.5 weeks

If you want the 2 days a week though the holidays then fine, but people aren't wrong for pointing out that it is a substantial amount of time and not a few days here and there.

Teaching holidays are lovely. I’m sure anyone who wants them can look into training as a teacher

But then really what you’re saying is that no parent should have time for a hobby
Of course that's not what anyone say. Most just wouldn't prioritise it.

If you are happy to pay to use only there and then, that's fine. I personally couldn't justify the waste of money but if you are very well off, that's one luxury you might as well make the most of.

lola I’ve literally broken it down up the thread! If I didn’t know your name I’d seriously think you were just trolling, tbh.

I've worked in a nursery and honestly it depends how your child settles. If they get upset at drop off and clearly want to spend the time you with then I would think it's a selfish decision. If they enjoy it then it's up to you? Personally I have always worked tto and kept the children off with me (I've booked them in for the odd 'extra' day every couple of weeks to take the other child out for a special day kind of thing or if I need to get hair or nails done). As my biggest has gotten older he asks now to be booked into football holiday club!

Parenting is full on and so is teaching and you don't get the child free break from going to work that most people have, so bear that in mind when reading all the shitty 'I wouldn't dump my kids..' comments.

I'm a nursery teacher and after spending all my working days dealing with small children and all my days off doing the same, I feel no guilt sending DD to nursery a day a week in the holidays for a glorious day of quiet! She always seems very happy to go in for a child that's just been 'dumped'. And she gets a recharged mum coming to pick her up with renewed patience and energy :)

As others have said, six weeks is a long time to go without normal routine so I would definitely keep LO going in some days over the holidays so that they don't need resettling again in September. And enjoy your days off guilt free!

I’d do 50%. Some posters are being really harsh about this. People have different circumstances and different levels of support. Many of us have absolutely no-one to watch our kids for ten minutes so childcare it is.

OP, sounds like you are leaning towards 50%. I say go for it and don't feel guilty.

I'm not a teacher but when I have had opportunity in the past to have 1 day a week to myself while DS was in nursery I have jumped at the chance, did it for about a year. Having some time to do chores, catchup with a friend or even sit about and watch Made in Chelsea made a huge difference to my mental health and, I think, made me a more present and better parent when with my DS. If that makes me selfish I don't really care!

[quote motogogo]@theworks

Not martyrs, I didn't have kids to dump them in nursery if I wasn't working, I stayed home until youngest was in school for that reason. [/quote]
And yet their father did?

So you DO do pretty much what I’ve said then and not all school holidays are family time
No I don't.

As I said in one of my earliest posts, we are term time only and put a couple of ad hoc days in on the longer holidays such as Easter and the summer. I also made it as a suggestion for you and your DH as a middle ground between your positions

So quite clearly not putting DC in nursery for almost half the school holidays because a few days does not equal over a month of extra days in childcare.

You're suggesting 2 days a week, which is just under half the week. The school holidays are 13 weeks. Half of the holidays would be 6.5 weeks

The nursery is closed Christmas.
The OP will work through the Easter.
Two fo the six weeks will be family holiday.

There are three one week half terms.

That comes to
Half terms 2days x 3 weeks = 6 days
Summer 2days x 4 weeks = 8 days
Easter 2days x2 weeks = 4 days

Total = 18 days.

18 days in the whole year to herself.

Selfish bitch (sarcasm).

Definitely use the holiday childcare! As lovely as it is for me to have a day or two to myself during the week, I can’t imagine how my DC would have been if I’d taken him out of childcare for 6 weeks and then started him back. For continuity it would be great to keep them in

Happy mum = happy baby.do what you feel is best.knowing chores are done gives you more time to relax with your dc.🌈

But we are both saying we put our kids in nursery in school holidays to get stuff done.

The amounts may be variable but you are still doing exactly what you claim is so awful.

Incidentally before I got this job I was stressing about not getting one and I started a thread under a NC about being a SAHM - I got FLAMED!

You're suggesting 2 days a week, which is just under half the week. The school holidays are 13 weeks. Half of the holidays would be 6.5 weeks

I'm no mathematician but last time I checked 2 wasn't half of 7.

When you have to exaggerate massively to prove a point, you don't have one

Ignore the virtuous martyrs who think parenting must be tough for everyone if they didn't have help.

Go for 50% in the hols if you can afford it. That gives you time to get marking/exam/prep stuff done, house stuff done, maybe the odd trip out child free with DH and in particular keeps the baby in touch with the nursery staff.

And if you actually use less than 50% in the hols - so what? You have no local family support and from my experience half the parents who "couldn't possibly use a nursery just for time off" had DGPs taking the kids a day or so a week or for ad hoc babysitting

I'd go 50% for sure and probably do late drop-offs and early pick-ups. No need to resettle, and you have time to do housework and gasp! maybe even an hour to do something by yourself. It's not like you're keeping them in full time and not spending time with them!

Absolutely go for the 50%. I'm a teacher in Ireland (our holidays are longer-we have 9 weeks of a summer break) and my boys go to nursery 3 days per week during the summer (9-3).

It's great. I get a chance to do housework, go to various appointments, meet friends and just have a break. They adore nursery and seeing their friends, I've often given the eldest the option of staying at home but he wants to go. It means when they're at home, we can focus on playing and going on outings etc.

I'll keep them at home with me once they reach school going age and can (hopefully) be left alone in a room/entertain themselves/help put with chores/ play with friends in the estate/ go to camps!

I would most defiantly do this. it gives you a break to get things done and for me it made me a better parent. I could get my jobs done on the days they were there and the other days I had the energy and more patient to spend quality time with them without a million other things to do.

And thank you - I’ve got one of those horrible baby classes now!

Babymeanswashing
I suggested asking about ad hoc days in my first few posts, hardly claiming it's awful.

I question putting young children in so much though when there's a parent at home. It's a lot of time, especially when there's posters suggesting people should do it for the sake of hobbies.

I wouldn't do this TBH. It seems like a lot of additional time apart when the baby is already in full time care.

But it's a really personal thing. I don't know how much value there is in seeking other opinions on an issue like this.

Your DH is probably the only person with a relevant opinion.