To put my baby in nursery when I’m off work?

[Babymeanswashing]

I am a teacher, and will be working full time from September.

Nursery have offered two options. One is pay for term time only. DH wants to go down this road.

Second option is to pay 50% fees in school holidays, meaning baby can go 50% of the time.

I’d like to go for the second option, even though it’s more expensive. It would just give me a chance to get stuff done!

What would you do? I don’t think either of us are unreasonable, but I’m wondering what the consensus is.

@LolaSmiles don’t guilt other women. ‘School holidays are for time with DC’. It’s great if you don’t ever need any time to yourself and it works for you.
Nice bit of selective quoting there.
Shall we try again with the statement where I'm clearly talking about mine and DH's choices:
FWIW, DC are in nursery so I have no objection to nurseries. We chose term time because school holidays are for time with DC.

You've mentioned having time to do hobbies. If a parent wants to put their young children in childcare so they can prioritise their hobbies then that's their choice. I think my holidays are for my family, not for me to stick DC in childcare so I have time to do my hobbies.

If you're like every teacher I know you'll be working on lesson planning, organising, preparing materials and teaching aides, and CPD in the summer "holidays". If your DH isn't in teaching they might not realise how little teachers switch off when they're not in the school building. Keep up the 50% at nursery if you can afford it!

I work in a nursery and we always recommend (for full time kids) that term time working parents put their kids in for at least 2-3 half days per week during holidays. Otherwise they tend to regress and we end up starting from scratch after every holiday period. So in your position I would probably pay for 50% for the child’s benefit.

Just do what you feel you need to do and stop Mum guilting yourself. Take some days for yourself- get your hair done, exercise or lie on the sofa!

I’m pregnant and on maternity leave (still got around a month left) and DD is still going to nursery 3 full days a week. I adore her, love spending time with her but she’s loves her nursery and I need a break.

You're making it all about you and your needs. Ultimately, it should be about your baby. Some thrive at nursery and love all the stimulus they get there that they might not get at home. They gave no attachment issues.

Others though don't do do well. They might be ok and tolerate it but ultimately are happier at home. Would you be happy excercising knowing deep inside your baby is just waiting for you?

It's one thing for them to have to adapt when 6ou have to work, another when you just want the luxury of leisure and freedom.

I'd go with the 50/50 for the time being and see how it goes. Money is also an issue. Even if you can afford it, could the difference go into something that is maybe a higher need as a family?

Schools are required to be open for 190 days a year - 38w m-f. That means the holidays are the remaining 14 weeks - 50% of that is 7 weeks, which is 49 days. It'll be slightly less because of teacher training days, but 50% is still well into the 40's.

But then really what you’re saying is that no parent should have time for a hobby. And while I understand that argument, again there’s a short term benefit and a long term one.

Long term, I think being healthy and modelling a healthy lifestyle is important and I can’t pretend gaining weight isn’t something I worry about when going back to work.

My parents were both teachers and we did loads in the holidays but I don’t remember being glued to them every second or the day

Yes but baby just because I have to pay for the 50% it doesn’t mean I have to religiously use it. I did say in my second post I’d probably have baby go in for two shorter days a week.

And I don’t think summer has been 6 weeks since I was at school! Unfortunately!

Do it OP.

It gives you options. If you want to spend more time with DC in the hols, you can keep them home, but paying for the space gives you the option to take a break.

Not paying for the space removes the option entirely and you may find that your need for planning etc coincides with DC teething / having a sleep regression etc in which case you will need that break!

For what it's worth, my two are older primary and I only work part time. But I've booked them into five extra days at the holiday club over the six week break when I'm not working to give myself a break!

My needs are important too, just like yours.

Babyboomtastic
Teachers do 195 days a year because of the 5 training days.

I think that's what people who are saying do the 50% are missing when they're acting like it's impossible to get anything done if children aren't put in nursery. 50% of the school holidays isn't a few days here and there to do an awkward chore or go to the hairdresser. It's actually quite a substantial amount of time.

I'm a SAHP and my 18 month old does 2 days a week at nursery because she loves it there and I get time to myself and get to do the things I need to do like shopping, cleaning and exercise classes. Works for us.

Babymeanswashing
I'm not saying parents should have no time for hobbies. I'm saying that putting children in childcare so the parent can use their annual leave/holidays for hobbies seems off to me.

Out of the teachers I'm friends with, most of us have hobbies. Many of us have several hobbies. Those of us with children still have hobbies. They don't take up as much time as they did before we had children because we chose to have children. I know some people who have changed hobbies and had different interests when the kids were young that could fit in more.

Based on some of the responses on these threads we could be forgiven for thinking that no teacher parent ever manages to go to the dentist, can't manage a shop, can't clean the house, can't get their hair done, can't have hobbies and the only way anyone can do that is if they put the children into childcare in the school holidays.
How on earth do people think parents in non-education jobs manage?

I refer you to my second post lola

lola you are just trying to shame me and it’s not going to work.

@Babyboomtastic

Schools are required to be open for 190 days a year - 38w m-f. That means the holidays are the remaining 14 weeks - 50% of that is 7 weeks, which is 49 days. It'll be slightly less because of teacher training days, but 50% is still well into the 40's.

@Babyboomtastic and @LolaSmiles but the OP doesn’t have to put her DD in for all the available days she pays for. The options the nursery offers are either remain full time, don’t go at all or book the 50%. Surely you can see the 50% is the most flexible, allowing for the DD to still attend sometimes but also allowing for family time- the OP has already mentioned a 2 week family holiday. What do you both think of the benefit mentioned by a few PP of the DC keeping in routine and keeping in touch with the nursery staff as opposed to finishing mid/late July and then not stepping foot in the nursery again til September, a one year old would probably barely remember it/the staff.

I wouldn't use the 50%. Personally that's too much. I'd do a day a week to give me time to get stuff done.

It's very personal but from my point of view you are being unreasonable.
You already work full time and have them in nursery (saying you will have them only in nursery 9:30-3 is still a long time when your off work and they'll be at nursery).
You have the opportunity to have school holidays off with them which I think a lot of parents would love to do!
I work 24 hours (over 2 days or nights) and do my appointments such as hairdressers etc and exercise around my child and husbands shifts. I'm glad I have the other 5 days off with her. I know this will change when she's at school but this is the shift pattern that works for us x

@starbrightstarlight8888

I wouldn't use the 50%. Personally that's too much. I'd do a day a week to give me time to get stuff done.

But the options are: stay full time, don’t go at all or book 50% (but not obligated to use the full 50%, just have the option there). So your “day a week to get stuff done” would be booking the 50%

lola you are just trying to shame me and it’s not going to work.
It isn't shaming to point out the amount of time that half the school holidays is over 6.5 weeks of time.

If you want to push to pay for 50% childcare in the holidays then you do you.

How old will the baby be by the time you have any significant holidays? (Id not count half terms in that). To me this sounds like a great opportunity and one that not all childcare settings could provide. Presumably you'll have inset days that need covered in nearly every term when dc are still off. You'll still have more time off with your baby than most full time working parents and will be able to get the boring stuff done while they are having fun. There will be no rule that says you have to send them for the full 50% of the time either, if something better comes up you can just skip nursery but the option is there. Seems a bit of a no brainier to me.

That’s exactly what I’ve been saying little

I think for all the complaints on here it would help if people’s comprehension skills improved!

lola the problem is you are determinedly arguing about something that was never going to happen!

What do you both think of the benefit mentioned by a few PP of the DC keeping in routine and keeping in touch with the nursery staff as opposed to finishing mid/late July and then not stepping foot in the nursery again til September, a one year old would probably barely remember it/the staff
I've already said we are term time only and do some ad hoc sessions in the longer holidays and up thread suggested it as an option.

The OP was saying they want to pay for the 50% and 2 days a week in the holidays, which is totally different. If she wants to then that's her perogative.

2nd option. Whether you want to extra time for chores or if you want the extra time for lunch out with a friend, you are still you and can have a life away from your baby. I bet the time you spend with your little one will be so precious and full of adventures. Assuming your little one will enjoy nursery too! Win win for me!

I'd go for 50% option. Teachers have so much work to complete during school holidays, better to have dedicated time to complete work tasks and dedicated time with your child. Also better for your child to have the continuity of nursery.