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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Posting a photo collage on social media for fathers day!?

189 replies

Treegarden · 21/06/2021 16:36

Am I the only one who thinks it's ridiculous to post a photo collage to your husband and dad or add a photo gushing about them on fathers day/birthdays and special occasions? Just tell them! They are probably in the same room as you whilst you post it! I find it all really fake but it seems to be the norm nowdays! Anyone else find this annoying?

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/06/2021 16:39

I've seen bunch of these for mums too. And basically any occasion.
Whatever makes people happy🤷🏻

QueenAdreena · 21/06/2021 16:39

Not just you. I find it especially nauseating when the posts gush about fathers who I know are pretty half arsed about contributing towards the care of their children.

TotorosCatBus · 21/06/2021 16:48

My teen dd was wondering why her friends post tributes like that on Snapchat when their Dads aren't on there so won't see it

Littlecaf · 21/06/2021 16:52

I found it at first cringy but actually thought why shouldn’t I thank my partner for being an amazing Dad? Isn’t it good that there are fabulous Dads out there? The point of social media is to share what you like. So despite me usually hating all forms of social media YABU.

ShirleyPhallus · 21/06/2021 16:52

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could choose what feeds to follow and select which people who had content you wanted to view, instead of being forced in to viewing things you don’t like?

LST · 21/06/2021 16:53

Honestly why does it bother you? It has zero impact on your life

Trouvaille · 21/06/2021 16:55

YANBU. It’s silly, and just posturing to tell the world how wonderful your life/relationship is. It’s almost a competition these days.

Checkthemeaning · 21/06/2021 16:58

My father died in January & I'll do whatever I need to do to get through each milestone, thanks. If that includes long gushing social media posts then whoever doesn't like it can unfollow.

Zerorightanswers · 21/06/2021 16:59

It doesn't bother me. I like seeing the positivity.

tobedtoMNandfart · 21/06/2021 17:00

@LST

Honestly why does it bother you? It has zero impact on your life
I beg to differ. Fathers Day can be a difficult time for people for many reasons.

I'm NC with my narcissistic D, so to me it all comes across a bit stealth brag and not very considerate of others.

OP YANBU

Wrotten · 21/06/2021 17:02

I find them a bit pointless.

I saw someone post a screenshot of the Father's Day post she'd put on Snapchat, to her Facebook. Her dad has neither.

81Byerley · 21/06/2021 17:06

The thing I find cringy is when people post "Happy Birthday to my Mum/Dad/Lover etc in Heaven" I don't comment but I really want to say "You do realise that dead people probably can't read Facebook".

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 21/06/2021 17:10

YANBU .....virtue signalling...is that what they call it? If you're lucky enough to still have your dad, tell him to his face

hapalong · 21/06/2021 17:11

I had an awful "F" who I'm glad to say has been dead for many years.
My DH is a lovely dad to our DCs.
I like that I have a reason to put a "thanks for being a lovely DF" post on FB even if seeing other people's posts gushing about their own DFs brings out mixed feelings in me.

Checkthemeaning · 21/06/2021 17:14

@81Byerley You're an awful awful person. I hope you never have the feel the grief I'm feeling about losing my dad.

woodfort · 21/06/2021 17:16

I find it quite funny really. If someone is vaguely famous or even just Insta-famous they have to do a gushing post about their other half on SM (I guess if they don’t people will assume he is either a ) a shit father or b ) they are splitting up). I find it odd personally.
Half my friends do it too and if usually starts with a montage of photos of their DH.. and then a few hours later a picture of them with their actual dad - usually a photo of them being walked down the aisle because, for whatever reason, it’s still all about them and their amazing DH…

justanotherneighinparadise · 21/06/2021 17:16

It depends on your audience.

If my partner was on social media and we had lots of friends and family on there then I could understand doing it. It’s the equivalent of announcing how wonderful he is to of a room full of people. As it is he has no social media presence and I hardly ever use Facebook. So if he shouting about him to an empty room which would be pointless 🤭

HappyDaysToCome · 21/06/2021 17:18

The gushiness (between partners) is in direct proportion to how likely they are to split up in the next two years.

True Fact.

tobedtoMNandfart · 21/06/2021 17:19

[quote Checkthemeaning]@81Byerley You're an awful awful person. I hope you never have the feel the grief I'm feeling about losing my dad. [/quote]
She is as entitled to her opinion, as you are entitled to post about your F.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/06/2021 17:21

@81Byerley

The thing I find cringy is when people post "Happy Birthday to my Mum/Dad/Lover etc in Heaven" I don't comment but I really want to say "You do realise that dead people probably can't read Facebook".
That's quite horrible. Do you find it cringy when people visit graves as well?
Gwenhwyfar · 21/06/2021 17:24

@Zerorightanswers

It doesn't bother me. I like seeing the positivity.
Same here. I don't celebrate it with my DF because it's never been our traditions, but there's no reason why I can't enjoy other people's photos. I can see that it may be had if you've lost your father or he was absent, but anything about father's day might be hard in that case.
WTFisNext · 21/06/2021 17:26

My parents don't live within an easy drive of me. It's likely this was my father's last "Father's Day" but we could only manage a visit on Saturday to try and fit in with his care needs and the fact that I work full time and have two children.

We are doing everything we can to make his last months with us as filled with love as possible so I've been one of those annoying arses posting a collage of his favourite photos of us together/with his children/with his grandchildren because I know it will make him smile when I couldn't go see him in person.

Just to put the boot in, he can no longer talk so telephone conversations are incredibly distressing for him trying to use the assist device.

I'm so sorry my affection for my father is seen as pathetic!

Pinuporc · 21/06/2021 17:27

MN seems to have a set of unwritten rules of what is/isnt acceptable on SM.
I dont love everything my friends post on fb, they probably dont love everything I post. But the user is free to post whatever they want.(within the rules of the social media platform) And I can scroll by pics of a plate of food or 28 pics of your new puppy things I'm not very interested in.

I posted when both my parents died because actually it was easier than having to tell lots of friends.

alwayswithhope · 21/06/2021 17:33

This is the problem with social media in general. I really hope it loses popularity soon.

We are struggling to have children so I muted in advance all my friends who I know will have posted gushing tributes to their husbands even though the worst culprit has a 2 week old baby so I’m not sure how in that space of time she has established he is the ‘worlds best daddy’.

I actually had a lovely Father’s Day with my own dad who is amazing and we took loads of pictures. I didn’t bother putting any up on social media as I’ve a friend whose dad just passed away recently and I’m sure it was a difficult day for her.

I don’t get those talking to people not on social media or deceased either. If Father’s Day is hard and social media is your outlet why not post that this day is so hard and you’re struggling and I’m sure friends will reach out to comfort you. I don’t know what comfort telling your deceased dad to have a great Father’s Day on Facebook is really bringing.

RaindropsOnRosie · 21/06/2021 17:37

@81Byerley

The thing I find cringy is when people post "Happy Birthday to my Mum/Dad/Lover etc in Heaven" I don't comment but I really want to say "You do realise that dead people probably can't read Facebook".
Yep. I'm all for posts saying they're thinking of them on a particular day, or wish they were there but actually addressing them seems a little silly. Its in the same category as people who post about their pets online and address them like that.