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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Posting a photo collage on social media for fathers day!?

189 replies

Treegarden · 21/06/2021 16:36

Am I the only one who thinks it's ridiculous to post a photo collage to your husband and dad or add a photo gushing about them on fathers day/birthdays and special occasions? Just tell them! They are probably in the same room as you whilst you post it! I find it all really fake but it seems to be the norm nowdays! Anyone else find this annoying?

OP posts:
alwayswithhope · 21/06/2021 17:37

With respect and sorry for all you are going through @WTFisNext why would your father only get enjoyment out of those pictures if they are on social media where others see them? Would he not also enjoy them if you sent them to him via private message if he is viewing them on social media anyway?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/06/2021 17:40

MN seems to have a set of unwritten rules of what is/isnt acceptable on SM.

The rule seeems to be that it's not acceptable to be on SM😂

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 21/06/2021 17:41

@81Byerley hate to say it but l agree with you.
My dad is dead so l do understand how it feels to lose a parent but feel like l would be attention seeking if l wrote on fb about it on father's day.

GreyhoundG1rl · 21/06/2021 17:41

@Littlecaf

I found it at first cringy but actually thought why shouldn’t I thank my partner for being an amazing Dad? Isn’t it good that there are fabulous Dads out there? The point of social media is to share what you like. So despite me usually hating all forms of social media YABU.
Why the need to do it publicly, I think is the point?
Justgorgeous · 21/06/2021 17:42

I really can’t bear this new saying of Kings and Queens. “Happy Father’s Day to our King and constant rock.” Just no.

Checkthemeaning · 21/06/2021 17:43

@Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin I didn't do it to attention seek. I did it because I don't want the world to forget him & how great a father he was.

Whoever doesn't like it can quite frankly fuck off.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/06/2021 17:44

*I beg to differ. Fathers Day can be a difficult time for people for many reasons.

I'm NC with my narcissistic D, so to me it all comes across a bit stealth brag and not very considerate of others.

OP YANBU*

As much as I understand what you mean, ANY day, especially an event, can be difficult for many. People can't keep carefully considering if anyone on their friend list had bad x day or y relationship before they post anything. There is always one person. Someone had horrible Christmas event. Someone's mum is dead, someone's dad is dead, someone was attacked on x day etc.

I am of opinion that if the day is hard for someone, onus is on them to mute people or not go on sm.

CatBumJuice · 21/06/2021 17:48

Yep. First fathers day since my dad died, so I avoided Facebook.

HeckyPeck · 21/06/2021 17:49

@Zerorightanswers

It doesn't bother me. I like seeing the positivity.
Same here!
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 21/06/2021 17:49

I don’t get it either, they are usually in the same household so just tell them rather than FB.
Bit like messages on Valentine’s Day etc. Seems all for show it feels imo.

HeckyPeck · 21/06/2021 17:50

[quote Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin]@81Byerley hate to say it but l agree with you.
My dad is dead so l do understand how it feels to lose a parent but feel like l would be attention seeking if l wrote on fb about it on father's day.[/quote]
I think you're definitely allowed to have attention from friends on a difficult day.

gurglebelly · 21/06/2021 17:53

*I beg to differ. Fathers Day can be a difficult time for people for many reasons.

I'm NC with my narcissistic D, so to me it all comes across a bit stealth brag and not very considerate of others.*

The same could be said about pretty much anything so where does it end? Perhaps parents shouldn't be allowed to post about kids because it might upset those who can't have them or have lost them. Post about your exciting new job? Nope some people are unemployed or in jobs they hate. Holiday? Some people can't afford them, stealth brag....

NotAnotherPushyMum · 21/06/2021 17:53

If I want to tell everyone how fab my dad, husband and fil are then that’s up to me. Turn off the feeds from people who you don’t want to hear it from. There’s nothing wrong with public recognition every now and then for just being fabulous people.

MyShoelaceIsUndone · 21/06/2021 17:54

I can go one better..birthday wishes to the deceased on SM as in “happy birthday person”

Blossomtoes · 21/06/2021 17:56

It’s a bit hard to tell mine without a ouija board so some pictures in tribute to the wonderful dad he was are they only way. Today would have been my mum’s 103rd birthday, it was nice to share memories of her on FB.

CosyAcorn · 21/06/2021 17:57

If sharing photos of dads and saying nice things about your family on Father's day is an unacceptable use of social media then what on earth is an acceptable use of social media in your eyes?

TwoZeroTwoZero · 21/06/2021 17:57

Meh.

My dad isn't bothered about fathers' day and my step-dad died a few years ago so I didn't post anything about them. I did post some pics of dh with both dc as tiny babies though. I don't post often and rarely ever tag dh in anything but thought this was a nice gesture 🤷

TooBigForMyBoots · 21/06/2021 18:02

I like it. Can't be arsed to do it myself so I appreciate others taking the time.

YABU OP.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/06/2021 18:08

"Why the need to do it publicly, I think is the point?"

Why not?
I saw lovely photos of my brother with my niece.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/06/2021 18:09

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

I don’t get it either, they are usually in the same household so just tell them rather than FB. Bit like messages on Valentine’s Day etc. Seems all for show it feels imo.
Adults post about their fathers too and they're usually not in the same household. Yes, they could call, but why not also have a nice photo?
Hallyup6 · 21/06/2021 18:11

I find that the people who post this kind of thing have issues with their self esteem. They're looking for other people to notice and react positively to them. I actually feel sorry for them.

Gwenhwyfar · 21/06/2021 18:14

"I don’t know what comfort telling your deceased dad to have a great Father’s Day on Facebook is really bringing."

So what if you don't know? The person doing it probably knows and it's for them, not you.

TwoZeroTwoZero · 21/06/2021 18:41

@Hallyup6

I find that the people who post this kind of thing have issues with their self esteem. They're looking for other people to notice and react positively to them. I actually feel sorry for them.
Keep your pity love, I don't want or need it. I don't need other people to notice me and I don't struggle with my self esteem. I simply posted some photos of dh with the kids because I felt it was a nice thing to do.
GreyhoundG1rl · 21/06/2021 18:42

I don't need other people to notice me and I don't struggle with my self esteem. I simply posted some photos of dh with the kids because I felt it was a nice thing to do.
Confused. For who?

Zerorightanswers · 21/06/2021 18:44

Fwiw, I'm NC with my dad. Those of you who have good relationships with your dads, I say crack on! Instead of being all 'woe is me' about my misfortune I'd like to see a newsfeed full of people praising their dads who aren't cunts like mine!