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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Posting a photo collage on social media for fathers day!?

189 replies

Treegarden · 21/06/2021 16:36

Am I the only one who thinks it's ridiculous to post a photo collage to your husband and dad or add a photo gushing about them on fathers day/birthdays and special occasions? Just tell them! They are probably in the same room as you whilst you post it! I find it all really fake but it seems to be the norm nowdays! Anyone else find this annoying?

OP posts:
OlivesTree · 21/06/2021 19:51

My personal favourites are the people who post birthday messages on Facebook to their 3 year olds. Hmm

SummerBreeze1980 · 21/06/2021 19:52

@alwayswithhope - that's a very black and white way to look at it. Most people are sometimes happy, sometimes sad and everything in between. I'm most of the time highly anxious and stressed. But it makes me happy to post about my DC's dad. It makes him happy and it makes my DC happy. And the photos show happy times. It also makes me happy seeing everyone else's posts. So a whole lot of happiness.

alwayswithhope · 21/06/2021 19:53

@OlivesTree

My personal favourites are the people who post birthday messages on Facebook to their 3 year olds. Hmm
Yes I’ve an aunt like this! Happy 3rd birthday to my lovely grandchild Emma, see you later for your party. Lots of love nanny.

Ehhh the child can’t read and isn’t on social media

whatthejiggeries · 21/06/2021 19:55

Wow there are some miserable people on here. I wouldn't post about my parent who died recently because I honestly think that's is quite attention seeking but each to their own. I can't believe people avoid SM so they don't see people Posting happy Father's Day to their dad or husband because they've lost someone or don't have kids. I think it's nice. I certainly won't be avoiding it on Mother's Day. People should celebrate the people in their life - they don't have to stop doing it just because someone else may not have someone.

SummerBreeze1980 · 21/06/2021 19:56

@SmallPrawnEnergy - I post about my mental illness and autism on SM as do many others. It's hardly boasting to tell people how mental you are and that you're sectioned on a psych ward!

Etinox · 21/06/2021 19:56

@CoisFarraige

I am on FB but rarely post anything. I don't do birthday wishes/Fathers Day for my DH as they are not on it and wouldn't want it anyway. However my mother who is in her 80s is also on FB and I put up 'thinking of Dad today' type messages, tagging her on Father's Day and his birthday and anniversary. I don't do it for me, not my cup of tea at all but I am not living near her. Tagging her means all her friends etc write nice things and she gets comfort/something to do on the day. If my friends see it, those who knew him might comment, and I appreciate it but I am not doing it to attention-seek. I'm doing it for my mum.
That’s really lovely.
AlwaysLatte · 21/06/2021 19:56

I think they're lovely. You can unfollow people if you prefer 🙂

alwayswithhope · 21/06/2021 19:57

[quote SummerBreeze1980]@alwayswithhope - that's a very black and white way to look at it. Most people are sometimes happy, sometimes sad and everything in between. I'm most of the time highly anxious and stressed. But it makes me happy to post about my DC's dad. It makes him happy and it makes my DC happy. And the photos show happy times. It also makes me happy seeing everyone else's posts. So a whole lot of happiness.[/quote]
This is my point really. You say you in reality are highly stressed and anxious, but the you you present on social media is one happy out having only happy times. It’s misleading.

SummerBreeze1980 · 21/06/2021 19:58

@alwayswithhope - so should noone send a child a Birthday card until they can read? I think most people realise it is nice for the parents to read and the DC to look at the pictures/photos.

Samcro · 21/06/2021 20:02

@Checkthemeaning

My father died in January & I'll do whatever I need to do to get through each milestone, thanks. If that includes long gushing social media posts then whoever doesn't like it can unfollow.
Sorry for your loss. Mine died 12 years ago, i put stuff on sm, makes me feel better.
SummerBreeze1980 · 21/06/2021 20:03

@alwayswithhope - where did I say I only post about happy things. I post about my mental health a fair bit. I was on a psych ward for 3 years - hardly non-stop happy posts! However people can post what they like. If that is just happy things, why not? Surely people understand SM is just a snapshot?

Underhisi · 21/06/2021 20:03

I don't understand why some people bother with social media since they appear to spend their whole time on it judging what everyone else has put.

NakedAttraction · 21/06/2021 20:05

I wouldn’t do it myself but I can’t get worked up about what others do. Most of the ones I saw yesterday were either thanking husbands/partners for being great step dads, or thanking dads who had helped someone through a particularly tough time. What’s wrong with that?

SummerBreeze1980 · 21/06/2021 20:05

@Underhisi - spot on. Everyone is 'boasting' and 'attention seeking'. When really it just reflects how judgemental they are.

funinthesun19 · 21/06/2021 20:09

I love seeing these posts. I’m glad I’m not a misery guts.

ComDummings · 21/06/2021 20:10

I think it’s cute

godmum56 · 21/06/2021 20:11

@ShirleyPhallus

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could choose what feeds to follow and select which people who had content you wanted to view, instead of being forced in to viewing things you don’t like?
OMG yes......oh wait..... Grin
CandyLeBonBon · 21/06/2021 20:11

Bloody hell what a mean spirited thread.

Don't like it? Don't look at it. They've got buttons for that.

I don't have a dad, my step dad was an abusive cunt and I still have nightmares about him,

Fb lovefests are not my choice either, and Father's Day is often a bit sensitive for me but do I begrudge other people sharing their own feelings about their own families?

No. Because I recognise other people are allowed to express how the feel about people they love in a way that suits them. I just stay away if I'm not that interested. It's not hard is it?
Ffs
Confused

Godmothered · 21/06/2021 20:15

I quite like it. I just do it to show off how fit my mol was in the 70's!
I do find ridiculous when they post to Facebook and the father/mother/recipient is a) not even on social media or b) already dead 'Happy Hevanly Farthers day Dad! (spelling errors intentional).

Willyoujustbequiet · 21/06/2021 20:16

A few miserable people on here.

Try to have compassion. My parents and sibling are dead. I post on birthdays and other occasions as for me it keeps their memory alive and makes me feel better when I get responses with funny stories about them. I cherish it.

You have to be a special kind of hard hearted bastard to resent someone expressing this on THEIR OWN social media.

If you are this kind of person get help.

ThePearSquare · 21/06/2021 20:20

SM was made for this sort of thing, to share memories and connect with others to share things, such as thoughts you’ve had and messages of appreciation and celebration.

If you don’t like it, maybe it’s just not really for you, and you should get rid of the individual or platform?

Glitteryfox · 21/06/2021 20:25

It could be worse. My eldest child’s dad posted a photo of himself with his partner and their child out for a Father’s Day meal. To look at that photo and the caption you’d think he was a great dad. They’d dropped my child home on the way there because she wasn’t invited. She didn’t even know it was happening until they brought her home. She cried in bed for hours. Fucking scum.

frumpety · 21/06/2021 20:35

There are a couple of people who I like seeing post this sort of stuff, one had a real twat of a Father who she is now NC with and she always posts about her genuinely lovely husband and the other is someone who was in an abusive relationship before marrying her husband. I love the kind of 'fuck you' victory of the posts iyswim ?

SummerBreeze1980 · 21/06/2021 20:48

@Glitteryfox - that is awful, your poor DD.

EscapeToTheMountains · 21/06/2021 21:06

This is how many people use FB, like it or not. At least it's positive and not hurting anyone. If you don't like it, don't look.

I don't like FB, so I only rarely use it. I survive without it, and it survives without me. All good!