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Original poster

Posting a photo collage on social media for fathers day!?

189 replies

Treegarden · 21/06/2021 16:36

Am I the only one who thinks it's ridiculous to post a photo collage to your husband and dad or add a photo gushing about them on fathers day/birthdays and special occasions? Just tell them! They are probably in the same room as you whilst you post it! I find it all really fake but it seems to be the norm nowdays! Anyone else find this annoying?

OP posts:
Beamur · 21/06/2021 19:14

@Zerorightanswers

Fwiw, I'm NC with my dad. Those of you who have good relationships with your dads, I say crack on! Instead of being all 'woe is me' about my misfortune I'd like to see a newsfeed full of people praising their dads who aren't cunts like mine!
Same here! I posted a few pics of our family to show my appreciation for my partner. My Mum died a few years ago and it makes me a bit wistful on Mother's Day but I don't begrudge others celebrating theirs. If you don't like it, or it upsets you, give it a swerve. But it's a bit selfish to want no-one to make a fuss.
CoisFarraige · 21/06/2021 19:14

I am on FB but rarely post anything. I don't do birthday wishes/Fathers Day for my DH as they are not on it and wouldn't want it anyway.
However my mother who is in her 80s is also on FB and I put up 'thinking of Dad today' type messages, tagging her on Father's Day and his birthday and anniversary. I don't do it for me, not my cup of tea at all but I am not living near her. Tagging her means all her friends etc write nice things and she gets comfort/something to do on the day. If my friends see it, those who knew him might comment, and I appreciate it but I am not doing it to attention-seek. I'm doing it for my mum.

SummerBreeze1980 · 21/06/2021 19:16

@Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername - we can't all tell our DF to their face. I've not seen mine for over a year due to Covid and never seem him on Father's Day anyway as he lives in a different country to me! If someone's DF would appreciate a message and photos on FB, why not?

Honestly, according to MN people can post nothing on SM. It's my SM I can post what I like. And if someone doesn't like it they can either scroll on by/unfriend/unfollow etc.

Pinuporc · 21/06/2021 19:17

@DDivaSocial media is there for people to share their thoughts, feelings and what they are doing

I think you mean social media is for people to brag and boast about their lives and only highlight the good parts of their lives. Let’s be honest here!

It can be either! I share the good, the bad and the ugly on fb, and my friends are welcome to unfriend, or scroll by if they dont like it.

prettyvisitor · 21/06/2021 19:19

I know, I hate it too. I get made to feel guilty as well because my sister always puts huge gushing posts on 🙄

ArnoldBoo · 21/06/2021 19:21

I don't make these posts, but I do enjoy seeing them. I'm sure I post things that annoy people too.
The people who are so confident in their scathing reactions clearly don't realise that they do annoying things too!
It must be a sad life to see these happy posts, get annoyed by them, NOT mute them and then see them all again next year!
Dont be so passive. Mute and get on with your life Grin

gwenneh · 21/06/2021 19:23

I follow people on social media because I want to see these kinds of things. It makes me happy that they're happy.

Why would you stay connected to people whose content you don't care about? It's hardly compulsory.

Pinuporc · 21/06/2021 19:25

For those that are on fb but dislike that kind of thing, what type of things do you prefer to see?
What would you post about, in general, or do you prefer not to post but just read, or look at others?

Lemonwoe · 21/06/2021 19:25

I purposely put really gushy posts on Facebook to DH to wind him up. I sit in the same room staring at him until he picks up his phone and looks at it. It amuses me no end

Chillychangchoo · 21/06/2021 19:25

It doesn’t bother me (if it did I wouldn’t have social media) however I don’t feel the need to tell the world how wonderful my husband is as a father (he absolutely is).

Of course I told him, to his face mind.

Fernie6491 · 21/06/2021 19:27

I don't wish my DF a happy birthday - he died many years ago, but I do like to remember him on his birthday and post a photo.
Thankfully, I have nice friends who may or may not have known him but acknowledge it too, just as I would do for them.

Ughmaybenot · 21/06/2021 19:30

Ah I quite like it, it’s nice to see happy photos and happy posts. Your social media page is there to post what’s important to you, so why not? There’s a lot of negativity about, I’m certainly not going to begrudge some cheery posts.

TurdCrapley · 21/06/2021 19:35

Good God, live and let live. Why do you care?HmmConfused

SummerBreeze1980 · 21/06/2021 19:36

I love seeing positive posts - it makes me happy. I can't understand the mind set that looks at a happy post from someone and is annoyed about it. Why can people not be happy? I mean presumably these are your friends or people you choose to follow. Aren't you glad they are happy? People always claim everything is about 'boasting'. Actually I've been through some difficult times in the last few years (some of which is on SM) and I feel glad to be able to share some happy things on SM. Just as I like to see friends happy, they like to see me happy. And if they don't then they can easily mute or unfriend me. Why can't lots on MN take responsibility for themselves where SM is concerned? Noone is forcing you to look at these things!

amylou8 · 21/06/2021 19:37

I don't get all the gushy posts, it just comes over as attention seeking. I have two school friends and their mum on FB, who all post every single event and anniversary, for everyone living and dead. Picture collages, miss you great granny and grandad on what would have been your 112th wedding anniversary. Thing is they're lovely people, so perhaps I'm just a miserable cow. Need to make better use of the snooze button probably.

alwayswithhope · 21/06/2021 19:40

@Beamur I posted a few pics of our family to show my appreciation for my partner. how does posting on Facebook show your appreciation for your partner?

@gwenneh it’s very naive to think someone’s social media profile shows whether they are happy or not.

Eatingsoupwithafork · 21/06/2021 19:41

It is pretty cringe when they’re posting all this stuff and they’re blatantly sitting next to each other on the sittee.

Macncheeseballs · 21/06/2021 19:42

Turdcrapley, surely you could say that about most of the stuff posted on mumsnet

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/06/2021 19:43

how does posting on Facebook show your appreciation for your partner?

I don't do it, but even I can see that it may be similar to number of things.
Telling people f2f, sending a pic or a letter to newspapers, sending note to magazine board or whatever, doing the bbc kid's birthday thing, speech during celebration...

It's literally just one of the million things people do, basically the same as many, excpet that because it's on SM Judgy McJudgefaces get nickers in a twist.

gwenneh · 21/06/2021 19:44

[quote alwayswithhope]**@Beamur* I posted a few pics of our family to show my appreciation for my partner.* how does posting on Facebook show your appreciation for your partner?

@gwenneh it’s very naive to think someone’s social media profile shows whether they are happy or not.[/quote]
I'm not performing a deep psychoanalytical exercise on their overall level of happiness. The people I follow on social media are my friends and family. They post things that are interesting or important to them, and because they are my friends and family, I am interested in those things, too. Including collages on Father's Day.

Again, why follow people whose lives you clearly disapprove?

alwayswithhope · 21/06/2021 19:46

@gwenneh how do you extrapolate that I don’t care about my friends entire lives and experiences just because I think the Father’s Day collages - generally to fathers/husbands who aren’t even on Instagram in my friends cases (!!) are ridiculous. I mean how is it not ridiculous posting a gushing tribute to a man who will never see it… Confused

Notaroadrunner · 21/06/2021 19:47

@Checkthemeaning

My father died in January & I'll do whatever I need to do to get through each milestone, thanks. If that includes long gushing social media posts then whoever doesn't like it can unfollow.
In fairness I doubt op was referring to deceased people. She did mention the fact that the people being gushed about are most likely there in the room. My parents died relatively close to one another in recent years. I don't ever post about them on SM. Each to their own.

@Treegarden I also find it nauseating and it's always the same few on my newsfeed. I just scroll on and don't ever 'like' the posts.

gwenneh · 21/06/2021 19:47

[quote alwayswithhope]@gwenneh how do you extrapolate that I don’t care about my friends entire lives and experiences just because I think the Father’s Day collages - generally to fathers/husbands who aren’t even on Instagram in my friends cases (!!) are ridiculous. I mean how is it not ridiculous posting a gushing tribute to a man who will never see it… Confused[/quote]
I didn't. You certainly seem defensive about it, though.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 21/06/2021 19:48

I don’t post that kind of thing but honestly, eBay do you think social media is for? It’s literally for showing off.

Just tell them!
And do you honestly think people post these collages but don’t say to their partners “happy whatever day” … come on man. Engage the brain.

Justme10 · 21/06/2021 19:50

It's much easier to write a sweet gushy post on SM than to randomly blurt it out over breakfast which could possibly make the other person feel uncomfortable or awkward.

I don't personally do it but I think it's nice to see.