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Original poster

Posting a photo collage on social media for fathers day!?

189 replies

Treegarden · 21/06/2021 16:36

Am I the only one who thinks it's ridiculous to post a photo collage to your husband and dad or add a photo gushing about them on fathers day/birthdays and special occasions? Just tell them! They are probably in the same room as you whilst you post it! I find it all really fake but it seems to be the norm nowdays! Anyone else find this annoying?

OP posts:
PassionfruitOrangeGuava · 22/06/2021 06:29

@Zerorightanswers

I have a feeling loads of the moaners on here have every acquaintance they've ever met as a friend on FB and that's why it's pissing you off. If you only had people you care about or see in real life then social media is much more fulfilling. Those of you saying "it's for the likes" or "no one cares" it's hardly doing it for the likes when you've only got about 50 FB friends and if half of those like your post then they must be interested in seeing it surely?

Besides the fact if people are annoying you on social media to this extent then maybe social media isn't for you, being full of people and all.

This is key. I’m only friends with actual friends so I enjoy seeing what they post because I care about them as people and I’m glad they’re happy.
PassionfruitOrangeGuava · 22/06/2021 06:37

@noblegreenk

Completely agree with you about this GreyhoundG1rl. When my Mum died suddenly, I didn't post anything on SM about it and kinda went off the radar for a few months when initially grieving. I met up with a friend six months after Mum's death and he asked how my Mum was, so I had to explain that she'd died suddenly. First thing he said was "I'm so sorry, I didn't know, you didn't put it on Facebook or anything!" I told him that's because grief isn't a spectator sport and it's something I preferred to deal with privately
And that’s a normal way to feel.

Everyone is different though. I shared that my mum had died on SM for lots of reasons, and ten years later still share a photo on her birthday or the anniversary. Friends comment, leave heart reacts. There’s nothing wrong with wanting grief to be known amongst your circle so people are aware you might be having a tough time and know to reach out and give support. I can’t tell you the comfort it gave me having loved ones respond, message me privately, offer to take me out for a coffee etc., people I wouldn’t necessarily have thought to inform personally via text as they didn’t know her.

So much behaviour is labelled as attention seeking... but as a very wise poster said upthread, it’s okay to need some care and attention during a difficult time. I was a very traumatised 22 year old whose world had just imploded, after an awful couple of years and then witnessing the traumatic death of the person I loved most in the world. And I don’t think it hurts less when you’re older or it’s been expected. It just hurts. Whether we like it or not our communities are mostly online now for many people, there’s no network of people you see regularly where everyone knows each other and news travels. So it stands to reason we’d share important news on Facebook.

I know you’re not saying it’s wrong to want attention or to share it publicly, just saying that for you it’s a private matter but I’ve been thinking these things since reading the thread and yours seemed to fit for me to reply. I’m really sorry you lost your mum Flowers. Been a decade for me and I still see her in my dreams every single week.

A friend of mine did once accidentally send a message to me though saying ‘god will she ever stop banging on about her dead mum, lots of us have them’ that she meant for someone else Grin

AliceLivesHere · 22/06/2021 06:38

@GreyhoundG1rl

I don't need other people to notice me and I don't struggle with my self esteem. I simply posted some photos of dh with the kids because I felt it was a nice thing to do. Confused. For who?
I thought this to when I read it. For whom is it nice, her?
PassionfruitOrangeGuava · 22/06/2021 06:40

If it is nice for her and her DH doesn’t object then what’s the issue? 99% of what everyone posts on social media is for the poster lol. I’m under no illusions everyone or everyone I know deeply cares about what I post. SM is often used as a type of diary for the poster.

Nonbio46 · 22/06/2021 06:46

Those sort of Facebook posts make me cringe. Each to their own and all that but I totally agree with you.

Seriously79 · 22/06/2021 06:46

These type of things do make me laugh.

We have 2 NCT couple friends, and the women are constantly moaning about how rubbish their husbands are. They won't do this, don't do anything for the baby, they never have a good word to say about them.

It's all forgotten though on Father's Day, they are gushing all over social medial about how fabulous 🙄 these men are.

Theunamedcat · 22/06/2021 06:48

Ahh yes the annual my husbands/childs father is better than yours i look at them thinking yep true yep true yep true then I but some and I'm like WTF are you TALKING ABOUT that man is more into drugs and beer than kids and fun seriously best daddy ever?

But its just Facebook it doesn't mean anything really

Dozycuntlaters · 22/06/2021 06:54

I find it odd you care enough to make a post about it. Just scroll on past, just because it's not something you would do, it doesn't mean its wrong.

I lost my dad in October, and I did put a photo of him up. I'm not stupid, I'm fully aware he can't read Facebook but for me personally I like to acknowledge him, for people to see him and remember how awesome he was. I do the same for my lively mum too who's been gone 11 years. Quite frankly if anyone doesn't like it or thinks it's stupid, I couldn't give a fuck. He was my dad and I shall celebrate that fact anyway I want.

MichelleScarn · 22/06/2021 06:58

@alwayswithhope This is my point really. You say you in reality are highly stressed and anxious, but the you you present on social media is one happy out having only happy times. It’s misleading.

Sorry what?! Who on earth is @SummerBreeze1980 'misleading'? Confused
So because she has been unwell and anxious at times thats all she can post?! That's a bizarre opinion!!

iminthegarden · 22/06/2021 06:58

Most of the dads aren't even on the social media so it's not like the tribute is even directed to them. Weird.

lollipoprainbow · 22/06/2021 07:05

It's very annoying especially the celebrities.

PassionfruitOrangeGuava · 22/06/2021 07:09

[quote MichelleScarn]**@alwayswithhope* This is my point really. You say you in reality are highly stressed and anxious, but the you you present on social media is one happy out having only happy times. It’s misleading.*

Sorry what?! Who on earth is @SummerBreeze1980 'misleading'? Confused
So because she has been unwell and anxious at times thats all she can post?! That's a bizarre opinion!![/quote]
When people only post about the good times they’re making out like their lives are perfect, which sets unrealistic standards for everyone and makes onlookers feel shit.

When they share about their struggles and pain they’re attention seeking and should learn how to have a stiff upper lip and not over share.

Pretty clear people enjoy judging others on social media whatever they post!

ufucoffee · 22/06/2021 07:15

I can understand it if they are not seeing their dad on Father's Day and said dad is actually on FB. But if they are seeing him it's pointless.

anon12345678901 · 22/06/2021 07:15

All the people who don't like seeing posts like this on Social Media, there's a simple solution. Get rid of your SM, you aren't being forced to keep it and keep looking at posts like these. And don't say you need it to keep it touch with people because there are email addresses and phone numbers.

People can post whatever they like on their SM, it's what it is for. If it's a no go for birthdays, fathers/Mother's Day, you can chuck in new cars, houses, relationship events, holidays, work related events to that list. As really any of those can be seen as a stealth boast to someone who doesn't have them/can't afford them.
Stop being so judgemental on what others post, it says more about you as a person than it does about them.

DDiva · 22/06/2021 07:28

[quote alwayswithhope]**@DDiva* Social media is there for people to share their thoughts, feelings and what they are doing*

I think you mean social media is for people to brag and boast about their lives and only highlight the good parts of their lives. Let’s be honest here![/quote]
I use it to keep in touch with family in another country not bragging. But my point still stands, if you dont want to see it dont use social media.

Icecreamsoda99 · 22/06/2021 07:45

I asked my DH if he wanted me to post a tribute after I saw the outpouring on Facebook and he said no. I don't really see the point and it does sound a little braggy but didn't want him to feel left out.

However those who begrudge people posting about their deceased relatives really need to have a word with themselves. We all grieve differently, and if your so jaded by life that you find it 'cringy' then I feel sorry for you!

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 22/06/2021 07:49

The ones that really confuse and annoy me are from my friends who constantly complain that their partner does nothing to help. They come in from work and play on their games consoles and then spend all weekend on their hobbies. They don’t spend any time with the children or help around the house at all but then get these big gushing tributes about how amazing they are.
Who is that for? Who does it benefit?

BobMortimersPetOwl · 22/06/2021 08:00

What do people think social media is actually for??

MichelleScarn · 22/06/2021 08:09

Clearly many think its so they can be sanctimonious and judge others for using it Bob!
Grin as evidenced in the many comments calling those using it smug and braggy! Confused

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 22/06/2021 08:23

@81Byerley

The thing I find cringy is when people post "Happy Birthday to my Mum/Dad/Lover etc in Heaven" I don't comment but I really want to say "You do realise that dead people probably can't read Facebook".
What a horrid thing to say. My dad died last year and I want him to be remembered.
SchrodingersImmigrant · 22/06/2021 08:24

When people only post about the good times they’re making out like their lives are perfect, which sets unrealistic standards for everyone and makes onlookers feel shit.

I am going to be very blunt here.

It's not the people posting. The issue lies with a viewer.

Did you think people showing physical photos after holidays or anything remotely interesting were pretending their lives are perfect? I bet you people didn't.

If people post nice good stuff, they are making people feel shit.
If they post about bad stuff, they are spreading negativity and people feel shit.
The issue is not with the posters but with unhappy viewers. Simple as that.

If my friend posts pretty pics of them on a day out, do you know ehat I do?
"Aww tha looks nice! Might visit there sometime 🤔"
Why? Because
1- I only have people I actually like on my SM
2- no matter what life situation I was in, I understand, everyone's situation is different and I can't hold them doing nice thing or being happy that baby did x and y, or that they have a dad while my died, against them. Because, back to point 1, it's people I actually like and as not a bitter person, I can be haply for their happy moments while using a common sense knowing that no one lives is perfect.

The. issue. Is. With. The. Viewer. And the viewers need to stop trying to make people feel guilty for sharing happy stuff!

Note, I rarely share except my fluffy chubsters also known as bumblbees. Yet I am formly on a side of the sharers.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 22/06/2021 08:27

The rest of the quote didn't show🤦🤦🤦 I am agreeing with @PassionfruitOrangeGuava

I genuinely just have enough of superclass Judgy McJudgefaces on here.

CorianderBee · 22/06/2021 08:32

Loads of people do it for every event or birthday. Can't get wound up

NautaOcts · 22/06/2021 08:36

It seems to be a slight generation thing, my sister does this a lot and is only 5 years younger. Also a particular style of posting - there’s lots of “this boy ❤️ “ type stuff….

NautaOcts · 22/06/2021 08:37

And addressing people, I just find it strange. Pic of her with a friend “long awaited walk with you my lovely friend”

Why didn’t you tell that to her?

To me would make sense to caption it “lovely time seeing x today” if you want to share it with people

But I am grumpy old lady I think