husband got back at half 5 this morning

[bubblegum02]

hello,

based on some of the threads on here, I'm assuming I'm going to get a lot of kill joy comments and the fact it's the euros too but I am annoyed.

my partner said he was going for a "couple" last night. I am 4 months pregnant and we have a one year old. I went to bed at about 10 and heard him come in. when I looked at the time, expecting it to be about half 11 as the pubs round here are still shutting earlier than usual it was half 5!

what has pissed me off about this is, one year old has woken up at 7, we went down about half 7 and of course, he is totally dead to the world. he has slept in our spare room downstairs which is something I suppose.

he was meant to be looking after the one year old for me whilst I go out for lunch today but he isnt responding to me at all. or the one year old.

he was out all day for the game last sunday too, was out pretty much the whole of the bank holiday and last Saturday too.

I'm getting fed up now, I'm not going to be able to leave the one year old with him, it is like he is unconscious and I'm meant to be going at 11.

not cool - pre kids, it wouldnt of been an issue but think he needs to grow up a bit. not against having a bit of fun but rocking in at that time when you are supposed to be looking after your child the next day is taking the piss.

has ruined my day too now and he will inevitably be feeling very sorry for himself.

Why is it only men who can't look after a child if they have a hangover? I've looked after my own dc plenty times after being out and only having a couple of hours sleep. It was painful but we all survived.

@LividBlabber

Would all those “just leave the baby with him and go” people REALLY leave a toddler with a possibly still drunk, maybe still catatonic man? REALLY?

As if. It’s not that simple, which is why “men” like this always end up ruining lives for women.

this is what I'm worried about too, he isnt going to be okay when he wakes up I know he isnt based on previous experience. he is terrible on hangovers and it ruins the entire day. if I left the one year old here I know I would worry about her.

currently trying to get hold of my mum to see if she can.

If I'm being honest, even if he wasnt directly responsible for looking after her today I still wouldnt of been impressed. like I said, this has been for nearly the last month, I always have the 1 year old and can expect 0 help when he is hungover cos he mopes around.

very fun for him I guess, very very boring for me.

Were you vile? Agree its not fair on the mother but that's not the baby's fault..

Still very early yet your day isn't ruined just yet.
Give him couple more hours, sort himself out then get ready and go out

It was a very fucking boring and depressing game, though. You'd want a few brighteners to take the edge off that interminable ninety minutes.

I’d be worried about if he’s still drunk. Perhaps you don’t need to be under the driving limit to look after a baby, but you do need your wits about you.

It’s only 8am, don’t martyr yourself. An hour before you have to leave you wake him by any means necessary. Tell him you are off out shortly but he has time for shower and coffee. He’ll have had a few hours sleep by then and he’s got no option but to get on with it. I’m sure you must have had to look after your child alone with a headache or morning sickness? Only difference here is his headache/fatigue will be self inflicted

Which replacement babysitter is most likely to be rude to him? I’d go with them.

My ex used to do this, hence being an ex.

Ice cold water or just ice on him, make him get up and showered and lease hi. With you 1 year old.

He fucked up he needs to deal with the consequences

If you’re not leaving until 11 then the day isn’t a write off just because he’s in a deep sleep at 8am. Wake him up at 10:30 and he’ll just have to crack on with no sleep whilst you’re out, I’m sure he’ll feel like shit but he’ll manage and he’s also far less likely to do it again if the consequence is having to get on with the day as planned whilst feeling rough than he will if the only result to his behaviour is you cancelling all your plans. His hangover is his problem not yours.

He IS looking after his child today, do not change your plans.
Go out have a lovely time xx

I would wake him at 10 with a pint of water & two paracetamol.

He's an adult and a parent with responsibilities. He knew he had to care for the 1 year old today while you went out, he will have to cope. If you give him a pass this time he will do this again, and again, and again, and never learn.

Plenty of time to sober him up. Wake him now and ply with coffee and toast.

Very selfish of him, considering he’s had quite a few other days/nights out recently. Can anyone else help you out with your toddler when you go out for lunch?

You need to be angrier than you are. ‘Irritated’ isn’t enough. He’s a selfish, immature twat. Why on Earth does he think he gets to carry on like this every weekend now he’s a father with a pregnant wife? No.

I think I would be worried about being with a man with that little self control that he can't watch an "important" football game without drinking himself into a stupor for the next few hours. As an uncommitted 20 something okay, but for a dad with an expectant partner its unacceptable.

I also think he'll likely still be drunk when he wakes up, given the timings involved, and thus I'd be very reluctant to leave him in charge, hideously unfair on you though that is.

You’ve got more chance of him being ok to look after the toddler if you leave him to sleep now. I’d try and keep the little one out of his way for a couple of hours otherwise your self sabotaging your lunch. If you wake him an hour before and he’s still feeling rough he has time to organise a baby sitter.

I would not be accommodating him and getting someone else to babysit because your only setting an example and enabling him. Wake him ip an hour before your going as pp said and give him no choice in the matter. As if he's going to ignore his 1 year old he will have no choice but to look after them.

What a knob. Chuck a pint of cold water on him at 10, hand him the 1 year old and get ready.

It’s always men that can’t look after kids after a drink. I’m pretty sure most mums have had a hangover and managed to still get up and parent safely the next day. I know I have!

@Posieandpip

Unless this happens regularly I wouldn't be bothered at all and unlike all of MN I actually think it's fine for adults to have a proper night out every once in a blue moon!

Well aren't you a cool girl. Might have ruined OP's day, but as long as the fella has had a fab night.

#notlikeothergirls

I'm assuming you love porn and that's cool too?

Op , his life / fun is more important than yours . This is how selfish men behave , once you have kids you are the default parent- on the rare occasion he looks after them he's "helping " you out.

I never worked out a way to make him change , and even now post split , on his weekend to have ds he fobs him off on his mum .

Any idea where he was till 5.30?

Yanbu! I'd go maaaaaaad
I wouldnt leave my 1 year old with him though I have to admit. If hes really tired and out of it accidents might happen. And because of that I would literally. Hit. The. Roof. 🙂lol!
That would annoy me so much! The fact you are staying to calm is a testament to you, stuff like this annoys me so much.