Shall I complain or just leave it?

[LemonsAreSour]

I'm possibly being sensitive, hormonal and really stressed about this whole situation. However, this incident did actually upset me and I'm mortified.

I had a miscarriage two weeks ago, but today I had an appointment (large global chain store) on the high street. I thought I'd go and enjoy the sunshine.

I had some culotte shorts on and I never in a million years expected what happened next

Had my appointment and was sat in the room after and I felt blood pouring out of me. I tried to get out the room quickly but as I stood up, the blood began streaming down my legs. I was stood holding my vagina whilst asking to use the toilet. I was told no, but I could use the restaurant over the road or some public ones. We had a bit of back & forth debate, I was still told no I cannot use the toilet. I told him I'd had a miscarriage and needed it ASAP.

He went off for 5 minutes and I really needed help by this point so I came out of the room and asked another customer to ask for another member of staff. The customer was lovely and offered To call an ambulance and asked if I was ok etc. At this point another member of staff came over but repeated the same as the first - I cannot use the toilet but gave me directions to the public one! I told him I’d had a miscarriage, I cannot walk over there in front of everyone and I was getting quite upset. I’m not sure what happened after then but a lovely female member of staff escorted me to the toilet and waited with me until DP came.

I guess eventually I did get to the toilet but why did it take so much drama to be allowed? What if it was an elderly or disabled person? It was humiliating stood there with blood pouring out of my shorts.

I guess they’ll just blame COVID but I’m really angry.

[Alternista]

As much as I wish this thread had never needed to exist, I do like it when threads reveal who to avoid. Saves so much time…

Hope you’re doing ok, OP

[AGirlsGotToDo]

@MintyMabel stop trolling. Get a life you saddo!!

@LemonsAreSour I'm so sorry this has happened to you. When I had a miscarriage (luckily I was at home) the same thing happened to me. I agree, the staff need better training for emergencies like this. I also wouldn't pay for my eye test personally.
Hats off to the amazing lady who helped.
Hope your D&C goes okay today

[MintyMabel]

Oh dear, you're struggling with semantics again

I'm realising maybe you don't understand what semantics are. Have you always used that word to deflect where you're called out on your errors? Must be hard for you. I'd give you my sympathies if I cared enough about random internet people.

[MintyMabel]

stop trolling. Get a life you saddo!

Yay! Another one!

[Streamside]

What a terrible experience for you.I'd complain to their head office as they would have made the rules. Highlight that staff need to have the autonomy to overrule these head office decrees if a medical emergency should arise. The staff could have risked being disciplined over allowing you to use the toilet.

[ProcrastinationIsMySuperPower]

OP - I'm so sorry for your loss, and how appallingly you were treated. I hope tomorrow goes ok for you.

Everyone else... Please stop feeding the troll!!

[blakeway45]

I would not let this go. I'd get back on with head office

[SmellThis]

Wow @MintyMabel, can we just focus on the OP please
I so sorry you had such a horrible experience OP people need educating

[NC276]

Oh OP, I can't believe you've received an email to rate your experience. That's shocking. I've worked in various customer facing jobs where customers aren't allowed to use the staff toilet, however, there are some cases where an exception should be made. I can't comprehend what goes through someone's head to not let someone use the toilet when it's obviously an emergency (nevermind traumatic!). I want to complain on your behalf I'm so angry. I've had 3 D&C's and they're awful. I really hope you're okay .

[Littlepaws18]

@MintyMabel

if you're good then you shouldn't be behaving this way

I asked for a clarification. It is others who are seeing it in a negative way. I wonder what your amateur psychology might say about that? In any case, once again, if you don't like it, hit the block button.

Imagine if your daughter was treated the way OP was? How would you feel

If my daughter had used the same phrasing, I'd ask the same question. If she, as an adult, posted on an internet forum (especially one not known well for its supportive nature, and in the least supportive part of it, at that) I'd expect her to deal with what was thrown at her and to block anyone that bothered her.

Don't feed the trolls

[SheldonesqueTheBstard]

Mange tout Rodney

[LemonsAreSour]

Just thought I'd update you all...

I had an email back from Specsavers, they are reviewing their customer toilets policy (not sure if it's for my local store or nationwide) and are going to retrain staff in medical emergencies and customer care.

I also received some flowers from them today apologising.

I'm pleased they're reviewing the toilets, I never want anyone to experience that. It was traumatic.

The D&C went well

[disconnected101]

Glad to hear you're doing well Lemons

[ArabellaScott]

Glad to hear it, Lemons. Amazing that you've potentially made such a difference.

Take good care of yourself.

[chipshopElvis]

I'm so sorry for your loss. You need to complain about the delay and initial refusal. You can also praise the lady who helped you and did the right thing. The other staff need training, you were really not treated well, please don't doubt yourself.

[chipshopElvis]

So sorry, that will teach me not to read the whole thread! Well done OP, good for you.

[PineappleTart]

I'm glad they're reviewing their toilets. For what it's worth I've previously worked in several high street stores and found that their toilets are usually tucked somewhere deep in the bowels of the buildings. The one I worked in longest were down a long flight of stairs, we were continually asked to use them but we weren't allowed (obviously a medical emergency is different, but then I'd have been worried about helping someone unwell down all the stairs)

[Jenny70]

Thank goodness you didn't have a hemorrhage or medical episode that did need some common sense medical treatment. Someone has heart attack in waiting room - "Sir you can't lay down here, please move to the pavement outside".
What you were experiencing wasn't a normal "need the toilet" scenario, it was a medical situation that they failed to give any care to their customer. No offer of basic assistance, no ambulance, no privacy or dignity offered to help you until the female member of staff was kind enough to intervene. Not good at all, and all of the shame should be on them. Don't feel bad, this wasn't something you chose to go through at the high street - anyone that you did encounter would think of you with nothing but sympathy.

[whynotwhatknot]

Good update hope youre feeling ok considering

[JustineTimee]

What a good update to read. Well done OP for making them review and change their policies. for you

[hellogem]

You must complain! Complain about the two male staff that refused you using the toilet when you had blood pouring down and was in no fit state to walk across to a restaurant to ask to use toilet, in such a humiliating way! You explained you've had a miscarriage to them which constitutes a medical requirement to immediately use the toilet and not be denied. Mention the length of time it took, also mention how a customer was worried for you and offered to call an ambulance.

Am so sorry op you had to experience this, so glad a female worker came to your aid.

I've had a miscarriage and so I know what it's like having blood just pour out uncontrollably, hope your doing ok now 💐

[KindnessCrusader]

I've been thinking about you this week, op. I'm glad they've apologised properly and that hopefully no one else will ever have to go through what you did in their store.