Shall I complain or just leave it?

[LemonsAreSour]

I'm possibly being sensitive, hormonal and really stressed about this whole situation. However, this incident did actually upset me and I'm mortified.

I had a miscarriage two weeks ago, but today I had an appointment (large global chain store) on the high street. I thought I'd go and enjoy the sunshine.

I had some culotte shorts on and I never in a million years expected what happened next

Had my appointment and was sat in the room after and I felt blood pouring out of me. I tried to get out the room quickly but as I stood up, the blood began streaming down my legs. I was stood holding my vagina whilst asking to use the toilet. I was told no, but I could use the restaurant over the road or some public ones. We had a bit of back & forth debate, I was still told no I cannot use the toilet. I told him I'd had a miscarriage and needed it ASAP.

He went off for 5 minutes and I really needed help by this point so I came out of the room and asked another customer to ask for another member of staff. The customer was lovely and offered To call an ambulance and asked if I was ok etc. At this point another member of staff came over but repeated the same as the first - I cannot use the toilet but gave me directions to the public one! I told him I’d had a miscarriage, I cannot walk over there in front of everyone and I was getting quite upset. I’m not sure what happened after then but a lovely female member of staff escorted me to the toilet and waited with me until DP came.

I guess eventually I did get to the toilet but why did it take so much drama to be allowed? What if it was an elderly or disabled person? It was humiliating stood there with blood pouring out of my shorts.

I guess they’ll just blame COVID but I’m really angry.

[helpmebeanadult]

I'm sorry for your loss. What an absolutely shitty way to treat you whilst you are dealing with such a horrific situation. I'm glad the woman helped you. Wtf is wrong with people? The way you were treated is despicable.

[LemonsAreSour]

@MintyMabel my "advice" is genuinely needed with you, though. You are not a nice person, your unkindness shows through even in a few one line messages on an anonymous forum. However, I hope you never experience what I did and if you are in an unfortunate situation... I hope there's not someone there pulling your words apart without offering any sort of advice/support/help like you do.

I guess there's always one massive knobhead on a thread

[MintyMabel]

I’m actually wondering what is going on with you to make you be this way with someone who has been through what OP did?

I'm good but thanks for asking. If you are in a bad place, perhaps not spend time wondering about me. It won't do you any good.

[excuseforfights]

if you're good then you shouldn't be behaving this way @MintyMabel.

Imagine if your daughter was treated the way OP was? How would you feel?

[MintyMabel]

if you're good then you shouldn't be behaving this way

I asked for a clarification. It is others who are seeing it in a negative way. I wonder what your amateur psychology might say about that? In any case, once again, if you don't like it, hit the block button.

Imagine if your daughter was treated the way OP was? How would you feel

If my daughter had used the same phrasing, I'd ask the same question. If she, as an adult, posted on an internet forum (especially one not known well for its supportive nature, and in the least supportive part of it, at that) I'd expect her to deal with what was thrown at her and to block anyone that bothered her.

[Faffette]

"used to indicate that although one thinks or supposes something, it is without any great conviction or strength of feeling."

Turns out you don't quite understand the English language either Minty

[MRex]

@MintyMabel

I’m actually wondering what is going on with you to make you be this way with someone who has been through what OP did?

I'm good but thanks for asking. If you are in a bad place, perhaps not spend time wondering about me. It won't do you any good.

You criticised a turn of phrase unnecessarily for a woman who had a really awful day. All you need to say is "I'm very sorry OP, this really wasn't the time for fussing over linguistics and I'll try to think before posting next time."

[Somethingsnappy]

@MintyMabel. "I guess I did get to the toilet in the end"....I guess is used in this case as shorthand for 'I guess I should consider that I did get to the toilet in the end' . It's an accepted and normal turn of phrase to use 'I guess/I suppose' in this way. Everyone else on the Internet is aware of this. I wonder why you're not.

[LemonsAreSour]

Thank you for having my back guys I'm not giving her the time of day. It's saying a lot more about her than me. Let's just hope her DD is never in my position and someone has the audacity to question her choice of phrase.

I have my D&C tomorrow, dreading that

I had this automated email last night. I'm not entirely happy with the way the complaint has been handled. The manager was obviously uncomfortable but it didn't seem like much was going to be done about it.

[Opal93]

I am horrified at this. Of course complain! This was a not only a medical emergency but something extremely sensitive, the treatment you received is absolutely appalling. Phone or email and say exactly what you’ve written in your OP and mention the kind lady who finally treated you with some respect and dignity and escorted you to the toilet. I am so sorry you had such a terrible experience xx

[MRex]

It's absolutely fine to put your thoughts in writing to the regional manager @LemonsAreSour, few people are so disconnected that they can't empathise with your position and it's their job to make sure the staff get a clearer understanding of how to behave, as well as how their behaviour reflects on the brand.

[MintyMabel]

I'm not giving her the time of day. It's saying a lot more about her than me.

And yet, still you respond. Making those sorts of remarks says a lot more about you than me.

[MRex]

@MintyMabel - there isn't a "block" button on the main forum and I prefer challenging you to ignoring your poor behaviour. You're really behaving very strangely doubling down on this; you were wrong, just say sorry and move on.

[RestingPandaFace]

Good luck for you D&C tomorrow, hopefully it won’t be too bad. Some paracetamol and curl up with a film afterwards.

Also sorry that Specsavers were crap. You still have the option of reporting the optometrist for falling below their standards if you want to pursue it further.

[Thevoiceofreason2021]

I would write to the head office thanking the female staff member and then let rip with a tirade of how the male staff treated you. Absolutely bloody disgraceful . You are not being overly sensitive. A miscarriage is really tough and I’m sorry for your loss.

[MadeForThis]

@LemonsAreSour
Please look for the contact details of the CEO. Email that dept.
I have previously worked as a retail manager (another company) This needs to be highlighted as a company side issue. If someone needs to use the toilets in a medical emergency they should be allowed access.
The store manger will do nothing more. Nothing will change.
If it is escalated to the CEO you have a better chance of making them change their toilet policy. Especially if you also mention publicising it on social media.

[Somethingsnappy]

@MintyMabel. Based on this thread my dear. What else?

[Somethingsnappy]

@MintyMabel. P. S. You want people to be kind to you? Fair enough. Here goes.... I'm sorry to see you're struggling with semantics. It's an interesting subject. Perhaps if you have time on your hands, as you've stated, you could do a little research. It makes for interesting reading. Enjoy! X

[ArabellaScott]

Hoping it all goes as well as it can today, OP. and .

What a hard time you've had. Sending you gentle hugs.

[Somethingsnappy]

@MintyMabel. Oh dear, you're struggling with semantics again. Nevermind, it's not everyone's cup of tea. Don't take it to heart. I'm glad you can at least see the funny side.