Shall I complain or just leave it?

[LemonsAreSour]

I'm possibly being sensitive, hormonal and really stressed about this whole situation. However, this incident did actually upset me and I'm mortified.

I had a miscarriage two weeks ago, but today I had an appointment (large global chain store) on the high street. I thought I'd go and enjoy the sunshine.

I had some culotte shorts on and I never in a million years expected what happened next

Had my appointment and was sat in the room after and I felt blood pouring out of me. I tried to get out the room quickly but as I stood up, the blood began streaming down my legs. I was stood holding my vagina whilst asking to use the toilet. I was told no, but I could use the restaurant over the road or some public ones. We had a bit of back & forth debate, I was still told no I cannot use the toilet. I told him I'd had a miscarriage and needed it ASAP.

He went off for 5 minutes and I really needed help by this point so I came out of the room and asked another customer to ask for another member of staff. The customer was lovely and offered To call an ambulance and asked if I was ok etc. At this point another member of staff came over but repeated the same as the first - I cannot use the toilet but gave me directions to the public one! I told him I’d had a miscarriage, I cannot walk over there in front of everyone and I was getting quite upset. I’m not sure what happened after then but a lovely female member of staff escorted me to the toilet and waited with me until DP came.

I guess eventually I did get to the toilet but why did it take so much drama to be allowed? What if it was an elderly or disabled person? It was humiliating stood there with blood pouring out of my shorts.

I guess they’ll just blame COVID but I’m really angry.

I think this kind of thing needs blowing out of the water tbh.
I'm not suggesting you do it OP, because this is a really hard time with everything, but at some point there needs to be public awareness of how harsh companies are on their staff when they use common sense, human decency and think for themselves, and a kick back against that.

It's ok people being up in arms and calling the staff who didn't help, complaining about the individual staff members etc, however that will change precisely nothing, because the policy makers do not face the concequences of their own policies - the customers and the staff members do.

The policy makers hide behind the fact the staff members will take the shit for it, where customers are treated badly, and actively hang them out to dry in some cases, at the same time as threatening those same staff members with disciplinary action and job loss if they don't adhere to the policies that piss customers off so much.

As customers I think we need to make it clear to companies like this that it's their policies that are the problem, and refuse to let them hide behind the staff members they bully into carrying them out.
At the moment it goes round in a circle of blame where the only people who are actually to blame are the only ones who have no repercussions from an incident.

I've come out of customer facing roles because I'm sick to the back teeth of being facing situations where I'm going to get shit for either helping someone who needs it, by way of my job being at risk, or shit for not putting my job at risk and not helping someone who needs it.
People are being micromanaged within an inch of their lives, companies offer the earth and then threaten people's jobs when the staff try to deliver, or blame the staff when it goes tits up and allow them to take the flack. It's ridiculous.

I hope you're feeling a bit better OP and get some resolution from this

I had a call back from the manager of the store.

He apologised, stuttered a lot, checked I was ok and talked through the situation with me. He said it was a unusual experience and the staff were stating the correct policy, he said he has tried to have a customer toilet but the layout of the shop doesn't allow it.

He said staff some training will take place with staff on medical emergencies.

I asked him to thank the lovely girl who helped and that was it.

How are you feeling about it all now, OP?

Awful to hear this. Im so sorry op.
There's policy wne then there's common sense.

@Iquitit. You are so right, it’s horrible. I’ve let customers use our toilets but felt guilty as I know I shouldn’t.

Op did you pay the bill? Did he ask?

@MintyMabel Wow wow wow. You read this thread and that is the only comment you can make. I feel sorry for you, I really do.
OP. I'm so sorry you went through that, hope you're feeling a bit better today 💐

@MintyMabel is unpleasant to vulnerable posters on many, many threads.

Im so sorry this happened. And so glad that lovely lady was there to help you (eventually). No one should have to go through that.

Omg what is wrong with these people? Sorry you miscarried.

Like others have said, complain, but also praise the helpful member of staff.

I'm sorry about your miscarriage x

Only one sour lemon on this thread and it ain’t nothing to do with the OP, despite her user name.

I feel slightly better about it today, I'm still mortified though. The thought of it all makes me go a bit cold because of the sheer embarrassment.

@MintyMabel I really don't understand why you commented, out of the whole thread you wasted your own time writing what you did. When someone isn't feeling great. Find something better/kinder to do, surely you don't have that much time on your hands that you need to indulge in that type of behaviour

I didn't pay for the eye test. I was escorted out the back. I probably should call and offer to pay. Next time I'll go to an independent opticians, I wont put money in Specsavers ever again.

Yikes. The first 2 staff members had zero concerns about your health whatsoever, its mind blowing to think they'd suggest you walk across to a restaurant to ask there to use the toilet in that condition.

I’m sorry.

This is horrendous I'm so sorry OP.

I just booked an eye test and asked work for my voucher. They now only do Specsavers. I had booked an independent and chose to pay instead. Glad I did!

I’m so sorry, what an absolutely awful and surely a dangerous thing to do…. the amount of blood loss could have resulted in you passing out?
I would absolutely complain.

I'm so sorry for what happened to you.

But, I used to work in a shop and we couldn't let anyone use our toilet under any circumstances. Which I know is pretty awful (I have IBD and carry a cannot wait card), but our insurance didn't cover us for the general public in behind the counter spaces. Also, if we did let someone use the loo we would have to leave the shop floor, which would mean the shop was unattended and we could get in massive trouble from the bosses.

Wait for HO to contact you before you offer to pay i dont think what the manager said was good enough IMO

I am so, so sorry this is how you were treated today, and about your miscarriage.

"I'm possibly being sensitive, hormonal and really stressed about this whole situation."

You most definitely are not. You were treated very badly. I would definitely escalate this once you are ready darling.

Take care xx

It’s good to hear that you are feeling better.

You really shouldn’t be embarrassed about it, you were having a medical problem, and the medical professional (albeit specialised in the other end) should have helped you.

@MintyMabel

Find something better/kinder to do

Nah, I'm all fine, thanks. Save your "advice" for where it's needed.

@MintyMabel I’m actually wondering what is going on with you to make you be this way with someone who has been through what OP did?

I’m in a bad place myself so I’m not trying to be condescending.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Yes, please complain, there is no excuse for them not to help you.