Shall I complain or just leave it?

[LemonsAreSour]

I'm possibly being sensitive, hormonal and really stressed about this whole situation. However, this incident did actually upset me and I'm mortified.

I had a miscarriage two weeks ago, but today I had an appointment (large global chain store) on the high street. I thought I'd go and enjoy the sunshine.

I had some culotte shorts on and I never in a million years expected what happened next

Had my appointment and was sat in the room after and I felt blood pouring out of me. I tried to get out the room quickly but as I stood up, the blood began streaming down my legs. I was stood holding my vagina whilst asking to use the toilet. I was told no, but I could use the restaurant over the road or some public ones. We had a bit of back & forth debate, I was still told no I cannot use the toilet. I told him I'd had a miscarriage and needed it ASAP.

He went off for 5 minutes and I really needed help by this point so I came out of the room and asked another customer to ask for another member of staff. The customer was lovely and offered To call an ambulance and asked if I was ok etc. At this point another member of staff came over but repeated the same as the first - I cannot use the toilet but gave me directions to the public one! I told him I’d had a miscarriage, I cannot walk over there in front of everyone and I was getting quite upset. I’m not sure what happened after then but a lovely female member of staff escorted me to the toilet and waited with me until DP came.

I guess eventually I did get to the toilet but why did it take so much drama to be allowed? What if it was an elderly or disabled person? It was humiliating stood there with blood pouring out of my shorts.

I guess they’ll just blame COVID but I’m really angry.

What bothers me is a lingering feeling that had you had a haemorrhage from any other part of your body, that the response would have been so different.

If you go to the ever-resourceful www.ceoemail.com, you can get the email for the ceo Doug Perkins, and other useful info like the corporate address to write to the board of directors.

Don't bother with the manager, go direct to head office.

Gosh I am so sorry for you that sounds awful. I hope you're feeling more comfortable now. Sorry for your loss
During the first lockdown I had only just had a miscarriage and was in a pharmacy buying sanitary pads as I didn't have any. I had two packets and the lady on the till seemed to enjoy telling me I could only buy one as they were an essential item. I was not having a good day at all and am sure I looked teary in the face. I wanted to tell her but decided not to give her the satisfaction. I cried afterwards, feeling humiliated only being allowed to buy the one packet and knowing they would barely last me a day or so. It stood out as the worst moment of the lockdown for me.
A long time has passed and I have been so very lucky and fortunate to become pregnant again and give birth to a healthy lovely baby boy who is now four months.
Time passes, these memories stay with us, good and bad, and hopefully we become stronger
Wishing you all the best op.

May I suggest you write to ask their head office and ask what their policy is in a situation is like in an horrible situation like that before you praise the wonderful lady who helped you to her bosses.

A friend of mine worked in a well known high street chain pharmacy and a customer who was in a different circumstance but needed urgent access to the loo. My friend allowed and also provide clothes from her locker to the lady. The lady wrote to both the local store and head office in UK (we are in Ireland) praising her. She got an official warning locally and a vile letter from head office telling her off.

So sorry this happened.

What happened is traumatic for you and the way they treated you is disgusting. No excuse.

Raise it with head office.

I'm so terribly sorry, OP.

I can only think that some people are so blinded by following rules they can't see the humane and decent thing to do.

Hope you are feeling better soon. Gentle hug.

I guess eventually I did get to the toilet

You guess?

This is just absolutely horrific behaviour. Please, please make a complaint about this- you sound like a genuinely lovely person and I can understand you not wanting to get anyone into trouble- but this issue needs to be acknowledged. It’s one thing if you had just been asking to use the bathroom, but you were clearly in distress having a medical emergency and they refused. At the very least, they need to be informed that in this situation there is absolutely no reason to refuse someone to use the facilities.

I hope you’re ok OP 💕

@MintyMabel

I guess eventually I did get to the toilet

You guess?

Helpful

@MintyMabel out of the whole thread, you pick that one point to comment on?

It's a figure of speech but for your information, in queens English - I DID get to the toilet.

@Rbaby bless you, I'm sorry you had an equally as upsetting story but I'm so pleased you got your lovely baby

I've complained to Head Office. Let's see what their response is!

Gosh so sorry LemonsAreSour this happened to you

I can’t believe a national chain refused to let you use their toilet when you were dripping with blood in their store are public toilets currently open?

Please let us know the location of this store so we can complain

I’d make a very significant complaint.
I’m so sorry op you’ve been through a tough time. Support.

OP. If you are rhesus negative and your DH is rhesus positive, check with your midwife about getting the jab to protect any future pregnancies from rhesus disease. I hope you are feeling better soon.

Sorry just saw you already have - good. Sorry you went through that.

I’ m so sorry that this happened, and I’m absolutely disgusted about how you were treated.

If the actual optometrist refused you access to a toilet and didn’t get you any help then I would think this a serious breech of their duty of care.

I would honestly consider reporting them to the general optical council as they were in breech of a number of their standards, I’d say 4.2, 6.2 in not calling you an ambulance, possibly 11.2.2 and probably 17.1

standards.optical.org/areas/practice/

@MintyMabel

I guess eventually I did get to the toilet

You guess?

You know what she means.

Oh love I’m sorry you’ve been through this :( no amount of ‘rules’ should have stopped them helping you right away! So thoughtless. Definitely complain and name and shame. I am sure the lovely employee would corroborate that she had to step in x

I am so sorry for your loss, but that treatment was u uncalled for.The female member of staff did what most people would do anywhere. I hope can find peace and recover from the shock of what happened to you today .

That's just awful.

Aside from the callousness and lack of empathy, shows a total lack of common sense if Covid was the reasoning behind it. (Having you leave a trail of bodily fluids all through their shop and beyond into another premises isn't exactly ideal for disease control!)

Absolutely complain. The fact they let you use the toilet eventually is small compensation. I'd suggest their staff need training except I'm not sure you can help people that daft.

Please don't beat yourself up for going out BTW. The body does all sorts of mad crap after a miscarriage and no 2 are necessarily the same. A distraction and a change of scene are entirely reasonable things to try and have!

@MintyMabel are you the optician? Fud

@purplecorkheart

May I suggest you write to ask their head office and ask what their policy is in a situation is like in an horrible situation like that before you praise the wonderful lady who helped you to her bosses.

A friend of mine worked in a well known high street chain pharmacy and a customer who was in a different circumstance but needed urgent access to the loo. My friend allowed and also provide clothes from her locker to the lady. The lady wrote to both the local store and head office in UK (we are in Ireland) praising her. She got an official warning locally and a vile letter from head office telling her off.

I agree. I would also advise contacting the head office and ask what their policy is in this situation.

It's easy to blame the staff and presume that they are heartless. But it is their jobs that are on the line if they do offer to help.

I'm sorry that happened OP that sounds horrendous I'm glad the lady who came to your aid was there.

I think the previous poster who called specsavers 'scum' was uncalled for though! Obviously there must be plenty of nice staff there as shown by the op receiving help from a member of staff. I work in a high street store and we would get a disciplinary if we let anyone use the staff toilet so it's not always that simple.

Definitely complain. Completely unacceptable, a triumph of blindly following the rules over common sense. Bloody jobsworths.

Horrific experience. So sorry for what you've been through.

I am glad you are complaining. I'm shocked they didn't think an ambulance should be called right away considering it was such a heavy bleed. You must have been terrified. Clearly the men were clueless as well as thoughtless. Glad the female staff member was kind & helpful but that's how any decent human being should react

I'm so angry on your behalf. Please complain. That's absolutely awful. I'm sorry that happened to you 💐