Shall I complain or just leave it?

[LemonsAreSour]

I'm possibly being sensitive, hormonal and really stressed about this whole situation. However, this incident did actually upset me and I'm mortified.

I had a miscarriage two weeks ago, but today I had an appointment (large global chain store) on the high street. I thought I'd go and enjoy the sunshine.

I had some culotte shorts on and I never in a million years expected what happened next

Had my appointment and was sat in the room after and I felt blood pouring out of me. I tried to get out the room quickly but as I stood up, the blood began streaming down my legs. I was stood holding my vagina whilst asking to use the toilet. I was told no, but I could use the restaurant over the road or some public ones. We had a bit of back & forth debate, I was still told no I cannot use the toilet. I told him I'd had a miscarriage and needed it ASAP.

He went off for 5 minutes and I really needed help by this point so I came out of the room and asked another customer to ask for another member of staff. The customer was lovely and offered To call an ambulance and asked if I was ok etc. At this point another member of staff came over but repeated the same as the first - I cannot use the toilet but gave me directions to the public one! I told him I’d had a miscarriage, I cannot walk over there in front of everyone and I was getting quite upset. I’m not sure what happened after then but a lovely female member of staff escorted me to the toilet and waited with me until DP came.

I guess eventually I did get to the toilet but why did it take so much drama to be allowed? What if it was an elderly or disabled person? It was humiliating stood there with blood pouring out of my shorts.

I guess they’ll just blame COVID but I’m really angry.

[LizzieW1969]

I’m so sorry you went through that. Yes, you should definitely complain.

[Cheeserton]

Arseholes. Complain.

[LemonsAreSour]

It definitely was the optometrist initially who refused. I did sit there for a few minutes just knowing what was happening. I stood up and said please may I use the toilet? And he said no sorry. I said no, really I need a toilet ASAP. He still said no.

It looks like it's policy, I googled Specsavers toilets and a few stories came up!

[MumblesAndMutters]

Goodness! I’m so sorry about what happened and also sorry for your loss.

The first two people behaved appallingly - they failed to show any basic human decency and subjected you to truly distressing and degrading treatment in the name of “protocol” (FFS it’s only a loo!). The third staff member was decent, but clearly out of the goodness of her own heart. Sounds like the whole lot of them (nice lady excepted) need a refresher in people skills. It’s beyond unacceptable. Awful too that no one returned your DP’s call; that said, better to have a paper trail. If you don’t hear within a few days, escalate. There will be an address and names of directors on Companies House, forward your complaint to the senior people if no action. I would also make Tommy’s (the excellent baby loss charity) aware of what happened, anonymously if you prefer.

OP you sound lovely, and the fact you’re been thinking of sending a bunch of flowers at a time like this shows you’ve a heart of gold. I hope you are ok.x

[AleynEivlys]

This made me so unbelievably angry that I may have cried a bit. The fucking twats.

I so hope you are ok.

[LolaButt]

@doublemix

I'm sorry that happened OP that sounds horrendous I'm glad the lady who came to your aid was there.

I think the previous poster who called specsavers 'scum' was uncalled for though! Obviously there must be plenty of nice staff there as shown by the op receiving help from a member of staff. I work in a high street store and we would get a disciplinary if we let anyone use the staff toilet so it's not always that simple.

You would also have to live with it on your conscience if you chose not to help someone who was medically in need.

In that moment you (not specifically you) get to choose which type of human you want to be in this situation. A kind and compassionate one who puts people before policy, or a jobsworth who is too scared of a telling off to help.

[MumblesAndMutters]

What LolaButt said ^^

[me4real]

Definitely complain- even if it's policy they should be humane, and like you said, what if it were someone with a disability? You had an illness/ill health.

It's a breach of the Equality Act for them to do this really, as it could prevent some people using the store due to their health needs.

[drawerofwater]

unbelievable

[me4real]

Sorry for your loss @LemonsAreSour and hope your health is better soon.

[poorfanjo]

I'm so sorry @LemonsAreSour you should 100% complain.

[poorfanjo]

@LemonsAreSour I recently had a miscarriage and I had retained products. You absolutely need to complain about this treatment it's appalling

[RestingPandaFace]

@doublemix

I'm sorry that happened OP that sounds horrendous I'm glad the lady who came to your aid was there.

I think the previous poster who called specsavers 'scum' was uncalled for though! Obviously there must be plenty of nice staff there as shown by the op receiving help from a member of staff. I work in a high street store and we would get a disciplinary if we let anyone use the staff toilet so it's not always that simple.

This is completely different though the toilet is a complete red herring. An optometrist is a registered medical professional who had a duty of care to poor Lemons and failed to discharge that duty by leaving her bleeding and suffering a medical emergency in his clinic.

Obviously he is an optometrist not a gynaecologist so it’s not his specialty but she was bleeding down her legs and as soon as she mentioned miscarriage he should have recognised that it could be an emergency, he couldn’t help her, and he should have called an ambulance.

[MoppaSprings]

I worked in retail were there was no customer toilets. Most of the time I said no when people asked. I was told off a few times by my manager when I did allow someone to use it( the back area is a mess there are staff notices back there, no public insurance should they fall, it takes a staff member away from the sales floor).
I would have definitely helped someone in the OPs position, but I didn’t really care about being told off by managers, I’m sure of they cared enough or disliked me enough it could have led to something more official.

Use of common sense isn’t permitted in retail.
Make sure you complain, ( whilst praising the staff member who actually helped). Tweet the company, go in and speak to the manager.

[Lulola]

It’s not necessarily that you are complaining but making them aware! They might have a policy of no toilet use, which is fine but they need to train staff to understand a medical emergency and how to respond differently.

[AtrociousCircumstance]

Complain and make it very clear who was responsible for putting you through that.

So sorry you went through that

[alexdgr8]

i think they mostly operate as franchises, so each one is separately owned and managed.
that does sound stupid. and very distressing for you. so sorry.
i once felt ill after eating what must have been some dodgy veggie lunch. i went into the nearest shop, a bookshop, and told the woman asst that i felt unwell and could i use their loo.
i wasn't even a customer. she was immediately helpful and took me to it. it was deep in the staff area. when i came out, some time later, i walked back through the staff room, no one around, bags and coats, to the shop floor. she had trusted me to come through alone, and i was forever grateful. thank you owl bookshop, kentish town road.

[alexdgr8]

it was many years ago, so any management please don't tell off anyone there now.

[OldTinHat]

Oh sweetheart, that's so awful. Bloody complain all the way, you should have been looked after, not treated like that.

[SummerWhisper]

It's in breach of the Equaluty Act and whatever response you get, good or bad, you need to make this point and that it seems their male staff particularly need equalities training. You are covered under Pregnancy and Maternity. I'm so sorry for your loss and I wish you a happy future

[BettyBurntBuns]

@SummerWhisper

It's in breach of the Equaluty Act and whatever response you get, good or bad, you need to make this point and that it seems their male staff particularly need equalities training. You are covered under Pregnancy and Maternity. I'm so sorry for your loss and I wish you a happy future

Ummm no

[LetMeSewYouToASheet]

@SummerWhisper

It's in breach of the Equaluty Act and whatever response you get, good or bad, you need to make this point and that it seems their male staff particularly need equalities training. You are covered under Pregnancy and Maternity. I'm so sorry for your loss and I wish you a happy future

a breach of the equality act? It bloody isn’t

[Di11y]

The first refusal seems reasonable if you didn't explain. I worked in a shop and our insurance didn't cover theft etc if we'd allowed someone into the back. Also you have to walk past people bags etc.

Once it's clear it's a medical emergency that obviously doesn't count, and simply escorting someone would have been plenty of mitigation.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, miscarriage is so traumatising.

I just went to mention that my first period after my MC was very heavy and gave me flashbacks. Wanted to make you aware so you can mentally prepare.

[coronacockdown]

Outrageous. Optometrists are health care professionals and should use their professional judgement and discretion.

What if you'd had explosive diarrhoea? Would they have also said no you can't use the toilet? Bonkers.

I really hope you recover from this traumatic ordeal.