Saying that most parents are competitive to some extent?

[Talkwhilstyouwalk]

I have 2 DD's and, whilst my main hopes for them are that they are happy, healthy, kind and polite I will admit to being secretly quite competitive when it comes to things like sports and academics.

For example, I'm secretly loving it that my reception age DD is on a year two book band which is much higher than most of her peers. But I know that maths hasn't quite clicked for her yet so I'm keeping everything crossed that it does. I wouldn't say I'm too pushy but I make sure we put a reasonable amount of time into reading and the weekly 'homework' that she gets. Over homeschooling I was far more bothered about the feedback she got than she was 😂

I guess a lot of this comes down to wanting my kids to excel/not to struggle at school. I was a fairly average student but have done well in life so I don't know why I'm secretly so competitive! I would never admit to this to my friends in real life!!

Anyone else like this?!

Just so long as you keep it to yourself.
Or you'll end up looking very stupid.
Like people who claim their kids are the best sleepers because of their amazing parenting techniques or great eaters because they only provide organic lentils.

Just be pleased if she turns out to be a decent human.

I'm pleased when my child does well but no, I'm not competitive in the slightest. I think it's quite an ugly way of looking at things. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.

I know, I don't like that I'm competitive in this way and definitely keep it to myself!

No
I don’t understand people who are tbh

It's more of a thing in the UK than in lots of other countries, I think.

I have never been competitive at all with my children. And therefore they have turned out to be much better at life than all their peers. So there

Some people just are more competitive than others and that doesn't change when they have children.

Ewww you totally lost me at “much higher than most of her peers”. I try to not feel competitive against 4/5 year olds - it would make me a bad person.

@SparklyLeprechaun

Some people just are more competitive than others and that doesn't change when they have children.

Weirdly I'm not generally a very competitive person so it surprises me that I'm like this with my kids. I hide it from them as best I can though!

It’s just that almost everything else is more important. It’s so irrelevant in the great scheme of things.

No, having D.C. with additional support needs cured me of any tendency I might have had towards competitiveness. If my DD manages to cope with mainstream school it’ll be a huge achievement, I can’t be arsed with worrying about where she is in relation to her peers - too busy just fighting to get the most basic of support for her.

@Wannakisstheteacher

Ewww you totally lost me at “much higher than most of her peers”. I try to not feel competitive against 4/5 year olds - it would make me a bad person.

Yeah....sorry about that, I get that. Was meant as an example to illustrate my point. I'm sure all of them have their strengths, but reading seems to be hers at the mo!

@Jellycatspyjamas same. My son does attend mainstream and is happy and support.

I'm not competitive in the slightest, I just want my kids to be happy and have friends.

I’m with you OP I keep it entirely to myself, never boast to other parents or say how my DS is doing at all. But I am secretly thrilled that he’s doing so well at school and proudly report his every achievement to my own DPs (who I think it’s ok to boast to!)

I am honestly not competitive, for myself or for my children. I see being competitive, except for people in sports, as a negative trait akin to being jealous or dishonest.

I actively encourage my children to collaborate rather than compete and do not give two shits what grades anyone else is getting.

@RickOShay

It’s just that almost everything else is more important. It’s so irrelevant in the great scheme of things.

I agree.... wish I wasn't bothered. I know it's far more important that she grows up to be a decent human being and is well liked!

I always thought I would be that parent and that i’d have to reign it in. But I’m much less competitive than I thought!
Maybe because my first is very average? She’s lovely (of course I’ll think that though) and I think she’s amazing but she tracks bang on average academically. And I’m really happy with that. I’m more worried about no 2 who seems academically advanced. She seems more ‘troubled’. Like there’s more going on in there but it causes her more angst!

I get competitive when someone else is otherwise I couldn't give a toss.

@Robostripes

I’m with you OP I keep it entirely to myself, never boast to other parents or say how my DS is doing at all. But I am secretly thrilled that he’s doing so well at school and proudly report his every achievement to my own DPs (who I think it’s ok to boast to!)

Yay, finally someone!! Oh yes, the grandparents listen to/endure my boasting. Other than DH they are about the only ones I dare brag to.

I’m not sure I’m competitive but I’ve always done extra work with my dcs, made sure they take advantage of opportunities, visited places just so they can do well at school and have experiences that broaden their minds.

All people want their children to succeed and are proud of their achievements - I think that's different to being competitive.

@UnwantedGain

I’m not sure I’m competitive but I’ve always done extra work with my dcs, made sure they take advantage of opportunities, visited places just so they can do well at school and have experiences that broaden their minds.

I think that is excellent parenting

But it is only of interest to a limited group of people 😂

No - I'm not remotely competitive. Family members are, though, and it's really unattractive (and exhausting!).

@Talkwhilstyouwalk you flatter me