Who's being U, me or DP

[MaryB90]

DP goes to the gym every day for over two hours plus sun bed after, different times every day but usually sometime in the morning.
We have a workman putting a new floor down in the kitchen and lounge as we speak, DP knew my plans for today, I was going to meet a friend who lives an hour away and was going to leave at 10:30am.
He's just announced that he's going to the gym, he told me to lock our dog in the bedroom and leave the workman home alone.
I'm not comfortable doing that, so told him I'll cancel my plans or leave later if my friend is OK with that.
He just got angry with me!

He's gone to the gym and left me annoyed. It could just be my pregnancy hormones.
So who is BU here, me or DP?
Please don't hold back, talk sense into me.

He is BU just for the sun beds alone! What's wrong with him for gods sake it's a stupid cancer risk and I bet he looks red not sun kissed.

Your DP sounds like a selfish meathead.

Hello doormat!

I've only read the first page of responses and they all seem to be saying what I'm thinking.

You need to put your foot down and make sure that he's the one looking after the workmen, going to the gym 7 days a week is unnecessary especially if you've made plans for one day.

With a baby on the way, he needs to buck up his ideas because you really don't need to be the one doing everything and if he expects that you will be, then you'd be better off without him so you can live your life and look after your baby without a total pr**k walking all over you.

Just to add it's not just the first few weeks that are hard...it's all pretty hard for the first couple of years in my experience!

Agree leave the workman though. Don't put life on hold.

I disagreed with DP as soon as I finished the just the first sentence, 2 hours everyday, professional Atheletes aside, this is abnormally long to be spending time away from partner/family every day.

I will go up and read the rest now, maybe my mind will be changed, though I highly doubt it. Definitely not you being unreasonable

My dsis does classes at the gym every day-saying that if her dh had plans or something else comes up she cancels the gym

he cant just swan off everyday with a new baby its ridiculous

I really think it's fine for him to go to the gym (and sunbed if he chooses althought it's so bad for him!) every day but it shouldn't dictate the whole day and definitely shouldn't interfere with your pre-arranged plans.

When your baby arrives he definitely needs to be more flexible with timings so it works for both of you.

I really hope you have family and friends close by to support you.

I think you are going to need support badly.

Do not rush in to putting his name on the birth cert until you establish that he is more committed to you and the new baby and that ye both come last after his gym and tan.

I'd say you both needed to communicate re arrangements for the time work man in house before the work started! You both made assu.ptiins about what woukd happen and that the other woud think the same!! Not making assumptions will be even more important when hhe baby arrives

* *^^MrsTerryPratchett

He doesn't have time to have a baby. FT work and three hours out of the house everyday. When's he going to fit in being a dad? The truth is, he won't. You'll do all the parenting. Your hobby will never come back. And when you're boring and 'nag' him he will take his gymbod somewhere else and blame you because you changed.**.

This I am worried also that there’s a future gym rat tan obsessed bod and mum bod incompatibility in his eyes down the line. Hopefully not

Well he obviously has no respect for you. Do you have a history of caving in to him ? Not acceptable that you had to cancel plans he knew about well in advance because he wasn’t prepared to help out ??!!! Also not acceptable to suggest leaving a workman alone in your home unless it’s for a very short period of time and unavoidable - and that’s not just a matter of trust, the unexpected can and does happen.

This is nothing to do with your pregnancy hormones, he’s selfish and self centred - but then you know that. Two hours a day at the gym is OTT and you need to have a conversation with him about respect and responsibility, before the baby arrives and things just get worse. He needs to grow up and realise that he can’t just do as he likes and push all the responsibility onto you to sort out problems.

I also agree with some previous posters on here - he sounds a bit obsessed with the gym fit, tanned body look and I fear for you when the reality of the responsibility of a baby hits home. He’s just proved that he won’t let domestic problems stand in the way of what he wants to do, so you’re likely to be left to shoulder most of the responsibility. You need to have that conversation ASAP - make it clear that you expect him to stop being so selfish and step up, otherwise I agree that there will be problems further down the line when you’re perceived as ‘nagging’ and he uses that as an excuse to stray.

You both need to have a serious chat. If he gets angry at just having to sit with the builders then your man ain't gona be a happy one when your new born arrives!!