...to have this conversation with Nanny

[itisworthit]

NC as I know I'll be roasted for this.

I want to have a conversation with our nanny on how she dresses.

In the summer, one day, she wore a bra top but work a waist coat with it- so I thought this was ok and but my tongue.

Last week, dear Lord, I collected my daughter from her and she was wearing a tight fitting long summer dress (no problem) but no bra and you can see clearly clearly see her breast outline and nipples. I was so shocked. I just hit my tongue and just took DS home.

I want to have a conversation about her regarding this. But I don't know how to broach it without being too insensitive. What should I do? AIBU to bring this up to her?

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

I think it also depends on the dress. Something like the first picture would be an issue because there's no way she can be active ,running after kids and interacting properly with them.

Something like the other two, or a vest type maxi dress, not an issue.

Exactly like the first picture but her nipples were very noticeable.

but the dress was longer but very tight fitting, like the first picture and same material

@itisworthit

but the dress was longer but very tight fitting, like the first picture and same material

Despite making me very uncomfortable to admit and say it, I'd agree that if that is the case, then no, it's not appropriate. Not because of breasts or nipples but the type of dress.

She's on her way out anyways so saying anything would be pointless. Not just that , but relationships souring even more won't help anyone,especially not your kids.

Stop perving on your nanny’s breasts! Shock horror, woman has breasts, and even (gasp!) nipples

Op
You are totally entitled not to like what she wears but given she's a childminder and not a nanny you have no legal right to tell her what she can or cannot wear
You are of course free to take your children elsewhere or she could be so offended as to give you notice. As you are both perfectly entitled to do.
Are you willing to continue with her if she doesn't change her dress code. You need to think about that before you have the conversation with her.

She sounds positively yummy. Do you fancy her?

@MadeOfStarStuff

Stop perving on your nanny’s breasts! Shock horror, woman has breasts, and even (gasp!) nipples

It was obvious. Honestly, it was there. It's akin to someone walking around naked- you can just see it. I was not starting at it, I was uncomfortable.

@Crazycrazylady

Op You are totally entitled not to like what she wears but given she's a childminder and not a nanny you have no legal right to tell her what she can or cannot wear You are of course free to take your children elsewhere or she could be so offended as to give you notice. As you are both perfectly entitled to do. Are you willing to continue with her if she doesn't change her dress code. You need to think about that before you have the conversation with her.

She's a nanny

I think people are being deliberatly dense here. There's nothing wrong with having breasts or a penis or a vagina but it's inappropriate to wear clothing to work which is so tight that everyone can see them. If you wear ridiculously revealing clothing of course people are going to notice. That's not pervy. If I walked into a room naked people would notice (and this sounds one step off that).

@Hallyup6

I absolutely agree with you, op. I don't think it's professional at all.

I've got 36GG breasts with nipples that stick out like chapel hat pegs in the slightest breeze or chill. They are often visible through my bra and almost any top that isn't a thick jumper.

What would you like me to wear at work? A bloody burqa?

They're nipples. Everyone's got them, ffs.

@itisworthit

I knew this wouldn't be taken seriously. I'm going to repost this on CHAT.

It’s amazing how many people who ‘just know’ they’re not going to be taken seriously and that they will be slated still post anyway. Almost as if a bun fight was exactly what they wanted in the first place.

exactly like the first picture but her nipples were very noticeable.
Then the issue is wearing clothing that's not appropriate for working with young children, not the fact that you can see the outline of a woman's boobs.
If you still stand by your claim it's unprofessional to see the shape of a woman's breasts then it says a lot about your attitude towards women as you'd have issues with work shirts, wrap dresses, fitted office dresses, any cardigan that isn't tent like (and tent like isn't typically professional style), most jumpers and any other item that isn't dressing in a sack.
My GP had a lovely jumper on last time I saw her. Someone ought to tell her off though because you could tell she had boobs.

Buy her this.

😂 😂

@iklboo

Buy her this.

That made me laugh. 🤣🤣

I'm confused. How on earth could she walk if the dress was as tight-fitting as the one in the picture but was long? It also doesn't look like a summer dress to me. I imagine she'd be a sweaty Betty in that if your weather has been like ours.

@Waspsarearseholes

I'm confused. How on earth could she walk if the dress was as tight-fitting as the one in the picture but was long? It also doesn't look like a summer dress to me. I imagine she'd be a sweaty Betty in that if your weather has been like ours.

I thought the same thing too when I saw her.

Very tricky. Personally, If my nanny had poor dress standards i would be concerned about her other standards. Is she the right nanny for you?

I think it's unprofessional, but if she's leaving anyway, I would just take note to mention your preferred dress code to the next nanny

I don't understand surely anything remotely tailored allows you to see the shape of breasts. My tits are massive I'd struggle to hide their shape, yet I go and teach teenagers and no ones complained about the melons down my top

@GertietheGherkin

So you collected your DD, and then you suddenly had a a DS instead. That in itself must have been confusing for you 🤔

This cracked me up 😂😂

Did you talk to her about what you consider proper child care clothing before you hired her? Do you pay a clothing allowance?

Would you be similarly offended by a male nanny wearing a tight t-shirt which showed off his chest area, @itisworthit?

I think you need to have a think about why breasts make you feel so uncomfortable op.