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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The “Cycling Send-Off Woman.” What the hell?

813 replies

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 16:41

Sorry if this sounds petty, but the most terrible woman came to my house yesterday and I still can’t believe the audacity of her. My husband is in a cycling training team and one of the things they do is meet at 7am on a Sunday morning at a cafe and then they go off out of London on their various routes. This has been going on years and they are basically cycling round the world in stages (as part of a larger group).

So apparently, this weekend was “our turn” to do lunch for this lot - a.k.a “my turn” (but don’t worry, I will not be making a habit of it). I was expecting about 8 who are all men, but this atrocious woman turned up in a sports car before them and was sitting on the drive waiting until they came. I thought she must be something to do with nextdoor (shared driveway), but when they showed up on the bikes she came in with them.

My husband was kind of mouthing, “sorry” to me and they all looked embarrassed. Then he tells me, he’s really sorry, but this is “the cycling send-off woman” Confused and today she has followed them in the car. So basically, I have since found out that this nut job of a woman seems to think she is in the cycling team and turns up at the crack of dawn when they meet and in all weathers, though she never actually cycles with them. Apparently, she always says she will join them one day, but never does. She doesn’t even have the right kind of bike, her bike is apparently more a shopping bike with streamers on the handlebars like a 4 year-old! Once she did cycle with them, but only for about a mile as she couldn’t keep up. She wears really short shorts and brings them all muffins and god knows what apparently at 7am Hmm. DH says they never eat them. Also, she waves pom-poms when they leave. I couldn’t believe it. I asked my husband why he’s never mentioned her before and I said it’s fairly obvious why she’s showing up. He just said they don’t know why she comes and they all think she’s mad. On this day, she had driven to some other cafe where they stop in Surrey because it was a nice day and she fancied the drive. Then she took it upon herself to turn up for lunch because she thinks she’s in the cycling club!

She is like something from Ab Fab and really loud. They were in the garden and there I was, backwards and forwards, while she was going on about how she’s just bought a Zwift, but she can’t seem to get it set up, so could any of them come over to her house and set it up for her (nobody offered and it was very awkward). I also heard her tell my husband (loudly) that she’d really like to bring her son to his boxing club and maybe he could he train them both? It was so very strange. As if! Also, she wasn’t exactly making an effort to talk to me. How rude. I have never come across a woman like this in my life. She is late 40s - who behaves like this?

AIBU to be annoyed that this happened at all? My husband has apologised but seems to think it’s a joke. He doesn’t get it at all. These men are late 40s and collectively, should be able to get rid of this lunatic. He says it’s a public cafe and there’s lots of people there and they can’t really stop her. Well, just find a different place to meet then!

OP posts:
ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 01/06/2021 19:09

Madonna was 53 in that picture.

CarlottaValdez · 01/06/2021 19:09

I stand corrected!

Iamthewombat · 01/06/2021 19:10

I am laughing at the two seater sports car being the ‘support vehicle’.

Ohhyeahright · 01/06/2021 19:53

Who has her son on Sunday mornings?

UhtredRagnarson · 01/06/2021 19:53

@Ohhyeahright

Who has her son on Sunday mornings?
At 18? Probably safe enough in bed by himself.
boogiewithasuitcase · 01/06/2021 19:59

Maybe Son bakes the muffins Smile

houseonthehill · 01/06/2021 20:10

I reckon all the 'wives' should get matching pompoms and microshorts and form a troupe.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 01/06/2021 20:38

@Ohhyeahright

Who has her son on Sunday mornings?
Probably his girlfriend.
DulseSeaweed · 01/06/2021 20:52

I think you're possibly getting a bit more irate than necessary. Yes, she sounds like a loon. And it's annoying she came to your house, ate your food and didn't engage with you (but then everyone else was eating and being waited on too, to be fair). But I'd hazard a guess the men don't mind the attention and that's why they're letting it slide.

It's bizarre your husband didn't mention anything but if it's unlikely none of them are having an affair with her I wouldn't get angry about it. It's quite funny really.

JaneJeffer · 01/06/2021 21:23

Nothing wrong with a middle aged woman shaking her Pom poms!
Diane in Denmark does it all the time. Rah rah rah.

Nayday · 01/06/2021 22:00

So much about what you have been told about this 'random' woman don't really add up:

  • She keeps turning up - how? someone's telling her where they're meeting
  • She 'got on' the WhatsApp group. No she didn't, someone added her to the group. There's no other way to join a WhatsApp group. Also people can be removed easily by the admin
  • She 'turns up' at your house. Again, no she didn't. Someone told her your address and what time.

Yes, she sounds eccentric but I call bullshit on all these tales of how she completely randomly manages to join this group of cyclists. Someone's shagging her, or it's some weird joke to have her turn up. Either way it's grim of this 'all male' group to treat her this way regardless of how eccentric she is. Act like proper human beings and remove her from the group and just meet elsewhere, no drama required. Bit that's probably not as much fun is it for them - women are good for humiliation or serving them Lebanese and drinks ey?

ContinuousMonotoneBeep · 01/06/2021 22:00

The son's girlfriend may be a cyclist- all spends all her spare time with her all women cycling group so can't make the muffins. The son has to do all the domestic work. Incidentally they met because he was a "support car" for the group. (It's genetic.)

PeteWicksSexyPirate · 01/06/2021 22:02

I thought he didn’t hear her when she asked about boxing? Confused.

Nayday · 01/06/2021 22:02

They sound like dicks and your wrath is pointed in the wrong direction! You don't have a pom.pom problem - but as per usual - a DH one.

Nayday · 01/06/2021 22:06

Um also - how does she exactly 'follow them' to your house, but arrive before them to sit on your drive Hmm. Time for more searching questions OP before you fall for such bollocks.

UhtredRagnarson · 01/06/2021 22:14

@PeteWicksSexyPirate

I thought he didn’t hear her when she asked about boxing? Confused.
Good point. He said he didn’t remember her asking, then later Op says he told her it wasn’t that sort of club. Confused
FrangipaniBlue · 01/06/2021 22:24

@PeteWicksSexyPirate

I thought he didn’t hear her when she asked about boxing? Confused.
He didn't.

So either OP is back tracking to paint him in a better light or she's had everyone going for 2 days....

PeteWicksSexyPirate · 01/06/2021 22:25

“ Now she’s claiming to want boxing training and is using her son fgs. I said to him, if she is interested in boxing, I am the Pope. He says he has no intention of having her in the place, he discontinued even remember her asking, and it’s not that type of club anyway. But she did ask as I heard her with my own ears.”

“ Yes he said there’s nobody there to train ladies or to take classes as such.”

deydododatdodontdeydo · 01/06/2021 22:36

Um also - how does she exactly 'follow them' to your house, but arrive before them to sit on your drive hmm. Time for more searching questions OP before you fall for such bollocks.

RTFT - she drove, and knew the address.

Nayday · 01/06/2021 22:38

I have RTFT, maybe you should read the OP, as I'm quoting it.

TheChiefJo · 01/06/2021 22:38

But isn't that what DH said to OP about the boxing? Rather than what he said to Pom Pom? That's how I understood it.

PeteWicksSexyPirate · 01/06/2021 22:44

No the second one was in reply to a PP who asked if her husband had told Pom Pom she couldn’t come to the boxing gym

Witchcraftandhokum · 01/06/2021 22:54

How dis she follow them if she turned up first?

JewelGarden · 01/06/2021 23:35

'I asked him last night. He said, “I don’t know, maybe she fancied the drive?” He thinks she is an eccentric, basically. He says “ Why would she be after us?” This is what he says.'

Never even crossed his mind that the woman inexplicably following them round and shaking her pom poms might want to shag them. Come on OP. Most men think all women want to shag them even when they're clearly disgusted by them, let alone when they're acting like a groupie.

flowerbombVR · 02/06/2021 00:56

I think it's pretty despicable if the men really are treating this woman with such disdain. And I'm sorry op, you paint yourself just as bad as them. The woman deserves more than that. If she is making a fool of herself, decent folk would not allow this to continue.

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