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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shared garden issue

201 replies

Sudoku88 · 30/05/2021 21:11

There is a communal garden/patio in my block which essentially is only used by the two ground floor flats (my flat and my neighbour’s flat, I’ll call him John) as it’s quite small.

My neighbour and I collaborated and paid quite a lot of money to get the patio paved so it would be much nicer space that we could actually use and enjoy.

Although it is a communal space, there is his side and my side of the patio. Basically, the issue is to do with me watering my plants on my side of the patio, and the water trickling down to his side as there is a subtle downward slope (which was only discovered after the patio was laid); something he doesn’t like. All my plants are in containers which which have a higher tendency to dry out.

Now, I would describe John as a generally very reasonable person. However, I can see this issue of my plant water moving down to his side of the garden as becoming a cause of friction.

To give some background: I do not live at the property, but rent it out. However, my tenants don’t use the patio at all so John essentially has the area all to himself and his wife. I come about twice a week via the back gate, especially when the weather is hot, to clean, sweep up, attend to and water my plants. I probably spend about 2.5 hours each visit, then I am gone, so for the rest of the time, John will have quiet enjoyment of the whole area to himself.

I love gardening, it’s my form of relaxation, and have invested a lot of time, effort and money on my plants. When I visit, I want to get on with things with no interference or feel any pressure or be dictated as to what I can and can’t do.

Recently, John has started suggesting that he will water my plants for me, (basically later on in the evening when he and his wife have finished using the garden) which I don’t want, as I want to do it myself. In the past when he has watered my plants for me, he hasn’t done a proper job and I have turned up to find some pots absolutely bone dry. Essentially, I know my plants, and know which ones need more watering and which ones need less.

I am normally a very relaxed, live and let live sort of person. But how I see it is that he ought to put things into perspective and be thankful that for a very large majority of the time he has the whole place to himself. That me coming to attend to my plants and the trickle of water going onto his side of the patio (twice a week) is a very minor inconvenience worth putting up with when he is able to have quiet enjoyment for more than 80% of the time. It could be a whole lot worse; I could be coming round for 8 hours/day, 7 days/week! so a total of 5 hours per week and a bit is water is is not worth complaining and creating tension over when for the rest of the time he have the whole place to himself.

My routine is to water just before I leave, he knows this. As the weather was nice yesterday, he was outside in the patio with his wife when I arrive to do my gardening. Just as I was going to water my plants, he suggested that he would do it later, but I replied ‘no, I’d like to do it myself as I had repotted some plants and they needed different amounts of water. There was an awkward silence, and then when the water trickled down to his side, he got a broom and started trying to sweep the water away into the drain, as if to make a point (but in reality there wasn’t enough water to flow sweep into the drain).

Sorry about the long, convoluted post. When I re-read it, it really does sound so petty. Am I being unreasonable, what would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
stevalnamechanger · 30/05/2021 21:12

Can't you put drip trays around the containers? You can get them even for very large containers

AttaGirrrrl · 30/05/2021 21:14

I’m more confused about why you’re going there if you have tenants. How do they feel about it?

Aprilx · 30/05/2021 21:15

I find it very off that you go round to a flat you rent out and spend hours tending to the garden every week. Do your tenants not object to this? I would be going ballistic if you were my landlord.

And yes I imagine it is pretty annoying that you deliberately send water trickling down to the neighbours whilst they were trying to enjoy the outdoors.

Bluntness100 · 30/05/2021 21:15

Agree drip trays is the answer

And patios are supposed to be built with a very slight slope, so water can drain off.

FangsForTheMemory · 30/05/2021 21:15

He's being ridiculous. What does he do when it rains, go out with an umbrella? I would say he's actually trying to reserve the whole patio for his own use by making you uncomfortable using it. I'd invest in a deckchair and sit out there for a few hours every weekend. Is moving back into the property an option?

Aprilx · 30/05/2021 21:15

*odd not off

Bluntness100 · 30/05/2021 21:16

Although I’m also curious how your tenants feel about you being there for two and a half hours every week. Why don’t you take your plants to your own home?

BullOx · 30/05/2021 21:17

It sounds like you are imposing on your tenants’ right to quiet enjoyment of the property?

Bluntness100 · 30/05/2021 21:17

@FangsForTheMemory

He's being ridiculous. What does he do when it rains, go out with an umbrella? I would say he's actually trying to reserve the whole patio for his own use by making you uncomfortable using it. I'd invest in a deckchair and sit out there for a few hours every weekend. Is moving back into the property an option?
She can’t sit out there, she rents it out!
Floralnomad · 30/05/2021 21:18

Either do as the pp has said and get trays for your pots or let him water the plants at his convenience . I actually find it a bit odd that you rent out the flat but still treat the garden as though you live there .Do your tenants have access to the garden if they want it ?

Dishwashersaurous · 30/05/2021 21:18

What on earth do your tenants think about you spending five hours a week, you say that you are there twice, in their property. The garden is part of the property.

Boundary are so wrong

Bluntness100 · 30/05/2021 21:19

Sorry just spotted it’s five hours a week. I don’t understand why your tenants are ok with this.

Just have your plants moved to yout own home.

FolornLawn · 30/05/2021 21:20

I’d be very unhappy indeed if my landlord were spending five hours a week in a garden I was renting from them. Why can’t you take your plant pots to where you live?

Babymamamama · 30/05/2021 21:20

YABU you are essentially doing gardening on a bit of patio that you have built out into a communal garden. It isn’t even your space to garden as you please. And causing nuisance to the neighbouring resident. You don’t even live there from what I can ascertain. You should move all the pots to where you actually live. Or get an allotment. I’m not surprised your neighbour is annoyed. And your tenants probably find it odd too.

Flaunch · 30/05/2021 21:21

Haven’t you got your own garden where you live? If you’re not living there. It isn’t really your garden at the moment and it does sound quite intrusive. I’ve got an enormous garden and it doesn’t take me anywhere near 2.5 hours to water everything that needs to be watered.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 30/05/2021 21:22

@Aprilx

I find it very off that you go round to a flat you rent out and spend hours tending to the garden every week. Do your tenants not object to this? I would be going ballistic if you were my landlord.

And yes I imagine it is pretty annoying that you deliberately send water trickling down to the neighbours whilst they were trying to enjoy the outdoors.

This! It’s very strange
hopeishere · 30/05/2021 21:22

Agree it's too much when it's not even your home. Paying to get it done up was also a bit dodgy. There's bound to be new residents at some point who want to use it and where will you be then?

Rookie93 · 30/05/2021 21:22

Can you not take the containers to where you currently live? That would make it easier all round. Or as suggested drip trays for each container. I love gardening but surely looking after plants in property being rented is very different. As a tenant I'd find it bizarre and off puting to have my landlord around so much even outside and not directly interacting with me.

Dishwashersaurous · 30/05/2021 21:23

And I know that you didn't ask for comments on the tenants situation but its so weird that everyone is distracted

Dishwashersaurous · 30/05/2021 21:24

and also what about the other flats that legally can use the garden, what will you do if someone else moves in and starts using the garden.

This is so weird

Disfordarkchocolate · 30/05/2021 21:25

How does he cope with rain?

Just crack on unless you are washing mud onto his side.

Bagelsandbrie · 30/05/2021 21:25

You shouldn’t be going there for 5 hours a week if you have people living there.

But equally he sounds a bit bonkers. It’s water. On a patio. Who bloody cares!

user1491404899 · 30/05/2021 21:27

Yabvu

Babymamamama · 30/05/2021 21:28

I don’t think it’s actually the water that bothers him it’s the fact that OP is acting like she lives there when she actually doesn’t. If someone did that in my block they would get short shrift from ALL the residents.

Aprilx · 30/05/2021 21:29

@Disfordarkchocolate

How does he cope with rain?

Just crack on unless you are washing mud onto his side.

Presumably he doesn’t sit out in the garden when it is raining. 🤔