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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shared garden issue

201 replies

Sudoku88 · 30/05/2021 21:11

There is a communal garden/patio in my block which essentially is only used by the two ground floor flats (my flat and my neighbour’s flat, I’ll call him John) as it’s quite small.

My neighbour and I collaborated and paid quite a lot of money to get the patio paved so it would be much nicer space that we could actually use and enjoy.

Although it is a communal space, there is his side and my side of the patio. Basically, the issue is to do with me watering my plants on my side of the patio, and the water trickling down to his side as there is a subtle downward slope (which was only discovered after the patio was laid); something he doesn’t like. All my plants are in containers which which have a higher tendency to dry out.

Now, I would describe John as a generally very reasonable person. However, I can see this issue of my plant water moving down to his side of the garden as becoming a cause of friction.

To give some background: I do not live at the property, but rent it out. However, my tenants don’t use the patio at all so John essentially has the area all to himself and his wife. I come about twice a week via the back gate, especially when the weather is hot, to clean, sweep up, attend to and water my plants. I probably spend about 2.5 hours each visit, then I am gone, so for the rest of the time, John will have quiet enjoyment of the whole area to himself.

I love gardening, it’s my form of relaxation, and have invested a lot of time, effort and money on my plants. When I visit, I want to get on with things with no interference or feel any pressure or be dictated as to what I can and can’t do.

Recently, John has started suggesting that he will water my plants for me, (basically later on in the evening when he and his wife have finished using the garden) which I don’t want, as I want to do it myself. In the past when he has watered my plants for me, he hasn’t done a proper job and I have turned up to find some pots absolutely bone dry. Essentially, I know my plants, and know which ones need more watering and which ones need less.

I am normally a very relaxed, live and let live sort of person. But how I see it is that he ought to put things into perspective and be thankful that for a very large majority of the time he has the whole place to himself. That me coming to attend to my plants and the trickle of water going onto his side of the patio (twice a week) is a very minor inconvenience worth putting up with when he is able to have quiet enjoyment for more than 80% of the time. It could be a whole lot worse; I could be coming round for 8 hours/day, 7 days/week! so a total of 5 hours per week and a bit is water is is not worth complaining and creating tension over when for the rest of the time he have the whole place to himself.

My routine is to water just before I leave, he knows this. As the weather was nice yesterday, he was outside in the patio with his wife when I arrive to do my gardening. Just as I was going to water my plants, he suggested that he would do it later, but I replied ‘no, I’d like to do it myself as I had repotted some plants and they needed different amounts of water. There was an awkward silence, and then when the water trickled down to his side, he got a broom and started trying to sweep the water away into the drain, as if to make a point (but in reality there wasn’t enough water to flow sweep into the drain).

Sorry about the long, convoluted post. When I re-read it, it really does sound so petty. Am I being unreasonable, what would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
ChardonnaysPetDragon · 30/05/2021 22:19

What on Earth are you doing in a small patio with a few pots that would need you being there for 5 hours a week?

Madness.

Treacletoots · 30/05/2021 22:20

Ahhhh. Cross post. So I get it. Clearly the neighbour is pissed off as they were trying to claim the space for themselves. CFs indeed.Shock

EverythingRuined · 30/05/2021 22:20

This is a really weird problem.

SwimBaby · 30/05/2021 22:22

I think John needs to move into a property that has a private garden.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 22:24

I attend to the plants and then finally water them.

How do you 'attend to them' in a way that takes such a long time, so regularly?!

Also, maybe I'm overthinking this, but why did you only say your neighbour John and then mention his wife, rather than refer to them as 'the couple next door' or 'John & Sandra'?

Sorry, not trying to be funny or mean - just finding my mind playing a few tricks on me, reading this!

Chloemol · 30/05/2021 22:24

Just put trays under the pots so the water doesn’t run away

StrongTea · 30/05/2021 22:26

Could you separate the area at all, a row of edging or something? He clearly would prefer you not to use the patio at all.

MargaretThursday · 30/05/2021 22:27

I presume that OP has rented the house without the outside area included. She can do that, and what's the problem?

OP, have you thought of asking if you can swap sides? That way you can water your plants and the water should stay that side.

PhatPhanny · 30/05/2021 22:29

Drip trays, problem solved

HerMammy · 30/05/2021 22:32

I’m sorry but how the everloving fuck do plants in tubs on a patio need 5hrs of ‘attending’ every week?
You sound a bit obsessive.
My garden needs a fair bit of ‘attending’ which is about 1/2 hours a week, it has a lot more than patio tubs though.

BumbleFlump · 30/05/2021 22:34

Let alone the neighbour issue, I don’t get why you spend all that time tending to plants that you can’t even enjoy because you don’t actually live there 🤷🏻‍♀️ ....That said, I don’t think this is really about the water at all, if it’s a warm day it’d dry in no time. It does sound a little bit like he’s rather have the space all for himself and is using the water as an excuse.

NoProblem123 · 30/05/2021 22:35

Who the heck us paying for all this water ??

Go home, and take your pot plants with you !

RickiTarr · 30/05/2021 22:38
Confused
Awrite · 30/05/2021 22:41

I know John doesn't own the patio but dear God I feel sorry for him. Having a neighbour's landlady spend 2 x 2.5 hours pottering every week must be very annoying.

I don't think this is about water.

Sudoku88 · 30/05/2021 22:47

@MargaretThursday

I presume that OP has rented the house without the outside area included. She can do that, and what's the problem?

OP, have you thought of asking if you can swap sides? That way you can water your plants and the water should stay that side.

Unfortunately can’t swap sides, otherwise I would as it would make things much simpler.

Drip trays are certainly something I’ll look into. The water was actually a trickle and not floods as some people may have made out.

I obviously mis- explained the situation. I didn’t go over the winter months. Twice a week was probably an exaggeration, now spring has come, there has been quite a lot to do.

Once again, the actual leaseholders showed no interest in the patio. In the years I lived there, I don’t think I ever saw a single one of them in the back,, but I’m not surprised as it was in fact a very small space and not welcoming. The ‘tenant’ is a family friend, new to the area and looking for temporary accommodation.

OP posts:
HerMammy · 30/05/2021 22:48

@Sudoku88
Again, how on earth can tubs on a patio take up so much time? how many are there??

GettingItOutThere · 30/05/2021 22:49

how on earth does it take 2,5 hours to tend some planters?!

how does this guy react to when it rains? haha

GertietheGherkin · 30/05/2021 22:50

Just when you think you've read it all on here. This little gem of a thread pops up 🤣
OP are you on a water meter?
5 hrs a week tending to some potted plants seems an awful lot. It's a strange set up all round, and then there's John with his trickle. 🤔
It get drip trays 👍

Proudboomer · 30/05/2021 22:51

If you are a keen gardener then you should know that you don’t water in the day when the sun is out.
You need to get up early and do it before the sun comes out or wait to the evening and do it when the sun has gone down.

DumbestBlonde · 30/05/2021 22:52

The water coming out of the bottom of the pots will carry with it some soil, which will discolour the John's patio (I have just figured this out for myself with my many patio potted plants---- see my name.....)
Other than that, I do not think, no matter the reason, the OP should be going round there in this way. She needs to get somewhere with a garden; all of this is something of a power trip I think Hmm

CharlotteRose90 · 30/05/2021 23:01

Get drip trays . I’m not surprised John doesn’t like you doing it. He’s got every right to enjoy his patio without water coming onto his feet when it’s nice. This thread is baffling

Loopylobes · 30/05/2021 23:07

If you use drip trays, won't they be sitting in too much water every time it's rained?

MrsFlinch · 30/05/2021 23:24

The op didn’t ask whether she was being unreasonable to tend to the plants. Her (temporary) tenant doesn’t have an issue, so going in to sort them and tidy the patio is not any different from a gardener. She is just looking after her own property.

And Yes, op I agree with others use drip trays, better still use trays and water from the bottom. It’s better for the plants as it takes water up more slowly and goes straight to the root ball where it’s needed most and reduces the need to water so often.

MrsFlinch · 30/05/2021 23:31

I know John doesn't own the patio but dear God I feel sorry for him. Having a neighbour's landlady spend 2 x 2.5 hours pottering every week must be very annoying

I’m sure the op would be pottering about a lot more if she does move back in, she owns the flat and is entitled to use the ‘shared’ garden!

Slippy78 · 30/05/2021 23:40

The other leaseholders wishes are a secondary concern. Did you get permission from the freeholder to pave over land that doesn't belong to you?