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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shared garden issue

201 replies

Sudoku88 · 30/05/2021 21:11

There is a communal garden/patio in my block which essentially is only used by the two ground floor flats (my flat and my neighbour’s flat, I’ll call him John) as it’s quite small.

My neighbour and I collaborated and paid quite a lot of money to get the patio paved so it would be much nicer space that we could actually use and enjoy.

Although it is a communal space, there is his side and my side of the patio. Basically, the issue is to do with me watering my plants on my side of the patio, and the water trickling down to his side as there is a subtle downward slope (which was only discovered after the patio was laid); something he doesn’t like. All my plants are in containers which which have a higher tendency to dry out.

Now, I would describe John as a generally very reasonable person. However, I can see this issue of my plant water moving down to his side of the garden as becoming a cause of friction.

To give some background: I do not live at the property, but rent it out. However, my tenants don’t use the patio at all so John essentially has the area all to himself and his wife. I come about twice a week via the back gate, especially when the weather is hot, to clean, sweep up, attend to and water my plants. I probably spend about 2.5 hours each visit, then I am gone, so for the rest of the time, John will have quiet enjoyment of the whole area to himself.

I love gardening, it’s my form of relaxation, and have invested a lot of time, effort and money on my plants. When I visit, I want to get on with things with no interference or feel any pressure or be dictated as to what I can and can’t do.

Recently, John has started suggesting that he will water my plants for me, (basically later on in the evening when he and his wife have finished using the garden) which I don’t want, as I want to do it myself. In the past when he has watered my plants for me, he hasn’t done a proper job and I have turned up to find some pots absolutely bone dry. Essentially, I know my plants, and know which ones need more watering and which ones need less.

I am normally a very relaxed, live and let live sort of person. But how I see it is that he ought to put things into perspective and be thankful that for a very large majority of the time he has the whole place to himself. That me coming to attend to my plants and the trickle of water going onto his side of the patio (twice a week) is a very minor inconvenience worth putting up with when he is able to have quiet enjoyment for more than 80% of the time. It could be a whole lot worse; I could be coming round for 8 hours/day, 7 days/week! so a total of 5 hours per week and a bit is water is is not worth complaining and creating tension over when for the rest of the time he have the whole place to himself.

My routine is to water just before I leave, he knows this. As the weather was nice yesterday, he was outside in the patio with his wife when I arrive to do my gardening. Just as I was going to water my plants, he suggested that he would do it later, but I replied ‘no, I’d like to do it myself as I had repotted some plants and they needed different amounts of water. There was an awkward silence, and then when the water trickled down to his side, he got a broom and started trying to sweep the water away into the drain, as if to make a point (but in reality there wasn’t enough water to flow sweep into the drain).

Sorry about the long, convoluted post. When I re-read it, it really does sound so petty. Am I being unreasonable, what would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
justawoman76 · 30/05/2021 23:44

If you don't live there what enjoyment do you get out of the potted plants anyway? I really don't understand why you invest the time and effort in something that you only see when you are round there looking after them. Do you have a garden at your own property that you could spend time in instead?
If I was your tenant I would be a bit annoyed at the constant presence of my landlord. 5 hours a week is a massive amount of time to be hanging around the property.
It literally takes me 2 minutes to hook up an outdoor hose to the tap, water my plants (I have masses of them, in pots and in borders) then put it away again.
Have your tenants ever said anything to you about it? How do you know they don't use the patio?
Is it written into their contract that you will be visiting the property every week? Apologies but I would find this very off putting as a tenant and it would make me really uncomfortable.

Sudoku88 · 30/05/2021 23:51

@Slippy78

The other leaseholders wishes are a secondary concern. Did you get permission from the freeholder to pave over land that doesn't belong to you?
Yes
OP posts:
BigHeadBertha · 30/05/2021 23:52

Okay, so apparently there's not a problem with you going over there to tend to your plants then, except with the next door neighbor. And his only complaint seems to be the water seeping over to his side of the patio. That sounds manageable.

I agree with trying the drip pans. That might fix the whole thing and then it's settled.

But If that doesn't suffice, maybe just keep doing what you're doing and let him grumble a bit now and then, if that's all it amounts to.

freeez · 30/05/2021 23:54

I'm not surprised the tenants don't use the garden when their landlord is out there for several hours a week. Hideous

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 30/05/2021 23:57

2.5 hours on some potted plants in a tiny garden?

You sound batty tbh

suggestionsplease1 · 30/05/2021 23:58

I don't really get a lot of these responses. This set up sounds very similar to a lot of the Glasgow tenements that I am familiar with - back communal area owned by all but the ground floor flats often take more of an interest. A lot of the time these spaces are so neglected people are just thrilled when anyone does anything to make it look nice for all. Of course you shouldn't be giving an impression that others can't use / enjoy the area too and that sometimes can be what happens, so I'd be wary of that. You've got an informal arrangement at the moment so no problem, but if you have more of formal tenancy situation in the future it is probably worth letting prospective tenants know your intentions.

Water going onto his area, really not a big deal. It will soon evaporate. As long as you're not flooding him out or drowning his plants that is!

Summerfun54321 · 31/05/2021 00:00

I think if John wants exclusive use of a patio without water trickling across it he needs to live somewhere with a private garden.

OP in flats with communal spaces, there is always potential for conflict. There’s no easy way to avoid it.

GreyhoundG1rl · 31/05/2021 00:10

What a totally bizarre scenario. Five hours a week watering plants on a patio in a flat you don't live in.
Gloriously bonkers. Poor John. And whatever mug you've managed to rent the place to.

Sudoku88 · 31/05/2021 00:24

@GreyhoundG1rl

What a totally bizarre scenario. Five hours a week watering plants on a patio in a flat you don't live in. Gloriously bonkers. Poor John. And whatever mug you've managed to rent the place to.
This is my very first post on mums net and what I have learnt is you get a whole host of people posting totally distorted and exaggerated versions of the original scenario.

Complete sweeping statements. A real Chinese whispers situation.

OP posts:
PepperPiglet · 31/05/2021 01:12

Get some drip trays. Job done.

PepperPiglet · 31/05/2021 01:13

Maybe they like going out there barefoot, that’s why they don’t like the drips. Tell them you don’t want them to go through the extra effort if having to water your plants.

thisisbull · 31/05/2021 02:00

God I'd find it suffocating if my landlord turned up to garden 2 x a week!! Thank god we bought last year and don't have mental landlords anymore

purplebagladylovesgin · 31/05/2021 02:05

Do whatever makes you happy! It's your part of the patio. But do get some drip trays so John hasn't a complaint.

He won't like that you do because I expect he's trying to say 'I want to use this patio space without you being present' It has little to do with the run off water.

Bluntness100 · 31/05/2021 06:32

Ok, it was odd the way first explained. If you’d said I don’t have a garden and a friend is staying their temporalily it would have been very different. Five hours on some patio plants every week is a very long time, so was also odd.

The issue is what you wrote, it’s all people have to react to. Which was its a very small area, I spend five hours a week tending the pots, it’s rented out and I don’t live there, of course people will think it’s odd.

Just buy drip trays and stop the fuss.

Bluntness100 · 31/05/2021 06:38

Also you don’t need to “look into” drip trays. They are as cheap as chips and you can get them even up to very large. Just order some.and sort the issue.

www.amazon.co.uk/CEED4U-Plastic-Saucers-Outdoor-Assorted/dp/B08HTZFPSV/ref=sr_1_6?dchild=1&crid=1IGXHZVWML7Z4&keywords=drip+tray+for+plants&sprefix=drip+tray+%2Caps%2C182&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1622439396&sr=8-6

Silvercatowner · 31/05/2021 06:42

This is my very first post on mums net and what I have learnt is you get a whole host of people posting totally distorted and exaggerated versions of the original scenario.Complete sweeping statements. A real Chinese whispers situation

Yep, typical Mumsnet. Baaaaaaa

Bluntness100 · 31/05/2021 06:47

That’s a bit unfair. I think sometimes people forget that responders don’t know them, so habe no idea of context and can only go on what’s posted, and when what’s posted is misleading of course the responses will also be.

Literally she posted she rented the flat out and then spent five hours every week tending to some patio plants. Anyone with an iota of critical thinking is going to think eh?

What she posted was not the reality. She should have said I’ve a friend temporarily staying there, don’t have a garden, I maintain the plants on the patio etc.

Instead we got a diatribe about a new patio, the neighbours, repotted plants, not wishing to be disturbed, about how no one else could water them because it was just that complex, how she comes in the back way etc,

UneAstuce · 31/05/2021 06:51

I could easily spend that amount of time on tending to my pots! You are not unreasonable at all! John sounds passive aggressive- let him carry on tutting and trying to pointedly sweep away tiny amounts of water - he sounds really silly. If I were John I would sit and chat to you about your plants whilst you tended to them! Or go indoors and let you do it in peace. Why can't people live and let live? Op I think you should just carry on. If John makes comments just shrug at him, he sounds unreasonable and very pernickity. Totally his problem, try to ignore. It would be nicer if he was more pleasant about it of course. Perhaps he will move out soon, to somewhere with a private patio, if the problem is that bad for him!

UneAstuce · 31/05/2021 06:57

Also, it seems to me that OP owns the flat and it's the only place to keep her plants. She's kindly letting a family friend stay in the flat as well. If it were me I'd be there every day watering in hot weather, not twice a week! Op could give John a plant for his side and also offer to water it for him Wink

EastWestWhosBest · 31/05/2021 07:18

I do understand why John is annoyed though.
To get to my garden you have to go down passage shared with the house next door. This passage is on a slope with steps at the bottom and gates left and right for mine and the neighbours garden.
If either of our drains get blocked then the water runs down the passage and then into my garden and on my patio. It’s just bath water but it’s still annoying to go out to sit on the patio and it’s wet.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 31/05/2021 07:27

You need drip trays but it's perfectly reasonable to use the space.

However both of you sound too possessive over the communal garden, you are dominating it. My experience of communal outdoor space is that it's in no way comparable to a private garden of your own, it's not normal to keep enough stuff there that it requires 5 hours a week of tending. If you care about gardening this it's on you to choose a property with a garden of your own.

SueSaid · 31/05/2021 07:34

Oh op take your pots home and stop watering them in your rented out place.

Whether you're right or John is right whatever. It is causing friction so just move your planters.

DeciduousPerennial · 31/05/2021 07:43

If you want to avoid grumbles, use drip trays.

But since the whole thing is communal he doesn’t really have a half does he?

(Ignoring all the distractions about tenants, leaseholders, freeholders, how much time spent watering etc as irrelevant.)

MargotMoon · 31/05/2021 07:46

You are not being unreasonable at all!! Some of the replies on here are so OTT.

Sounds like you are a keen gardener who has put a lot of effort into making the communal area really nice. My dad can easily spend way more than 2.5 hours every day tending to his pots and tubs at the moment - there is loads to do in the spring, and he only has a small garden.

Yes, drip trays will solve the problem of the water but might not keep the peace with John. It might turn out that it's actually not the water that he's annoyed about, but something else he hasn't articulated. Fingers crossed all will be peaceful when your friend moves on and you get your flat back

Lalliella · 31/05/2021 08:04

*This is my very first post on mums net and what I have learnt is you get a whole host of people posting totally distorted and exaggerated versions of the original scenario.

Complete sweeping statements. A real Chinese whispers situation.*

Never a truer word OP. Some people just read into it what they want to see so they can have a go.

Drip trays! John is a wally though!

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