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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shared garden issue

201 replies

Sudoku88 · 30/05/2021 21:11

There is a communal garden/patio in my block which essentially is only used by the two ground floor flats (my flat and my neighbour’s flat, I’ll call him John) as it’s quite small.

My neighbour and I collaborated and paid quite a lot of money to get the patio paved so it would be much nicer space that we could actually use and enjoy.

Although it is a communal space, there is his side and my side of the patio. Basically, the issue is to do with me watering my plants on my side of the patio, and the water trickling down to his side as there is a subtle downward slope (which was only discovered after the patio was laid); something he doesn’t like. All my plants are in containers which which have a higher tendency to dry out.

Now, I would describe John as a generally very reasonable person. However, I can see this issue of my plant water moving down to his side of the garden as becoming a cause of friction.

To give some background: I do not live at the property, but rent it out. However, my tenants don’t use the patio at all so John essentially has the area all to himself and his wife. I come about twice a week via the back gate, especially when the weather is hot, to clean, sweep up, attend to and water my plants. I probably spend about 2.5 hours each visit, then I am gone, so for the rest of the time, John will have quiet enjoyment of the whole area to himself.

I love gardening, it’s my form of relaxation, and have invested a lot of time, effort and money on my plants. When I visit, I want to get on with things with no interference or feel any pressure or be dictated as to what I can and can’t do.

Recently, John has started suggesting that he will water my plants for me, (basically later on in the evening when he and his wife have finished using the garden) which I don’t want, as I want to do it myself. In the past when he has watered my plants for me, he hasn’t done a proper job and I have turned up to find some pots absolutely bone dry. Essentially, I know my plants, and know which ones need more watering and which ones need less.

I am normally a very relaxed, live and let live sort of person. But how I see it is that he ought to put things into perspective and be thankful that for a very large majority of the time he has the whole place to himself. That me coming to attend to my plants and the trickle of water going onto his side of the patio (twice a week) is a very minor inconvenience worth putting up with when he is able to have quiet enjoyment for more than 80% of the time. It could be a whole lot worse; I could be coming round for 8 hours/day, 7 days/week! so a total of 5 hours per week and a bit is water is is not worth complaining and creating tension over when for the rest of the time he have the whole place to himself.

My routine is to water just before I leave, he knows this. As the weather was nice yesterday, he was outside in the patio with his wife when I arrive to do my gardening. Just as I was going to water my plants, he suggested that he would do it later, but I replied ‘no, I’d like to do it myself as I had repotted some plants and they needed different amounts of water. There was an awkward silence, and then when the water trickled down to his side, he got a broom and started trying to sweep the water away into the drain, as if to make a point (but in reality there wasn’t enough water to flow sweep into the drain).

Sorry about the long, convoluted post. When I re-read it, it really does sound so petty. Am I being unreasonable, what would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
londonrach · 30/05/2021 21:55

You renting this property out I'm shocked you going into the garden so much and so long,,. What the tenants say?

MadMadMadamMim · 30/05/2021 21:55

This is so utterly bizarre. I agree with all the others saying that if you've rented your property out and don't live there then you shouldn't have plants in containers on the patio and you certainly shouldn't be hanging around there for 2.5hrs a couple of times a week.

Ginger1982 · 30/05/2021 21:55

Why can't you garden at your own home if you love gardening so much?

Hardertobreathe · 30/05/2021 22:05

@MadMadMadamMim

This is so utterly bizarre. I agree with all the others saying that if you've rented your property out and don't live there then you shouldn't have plants in containers on the patio and you certainly shouldn't be hanging around there for 2.5hrs a couple of times a week.
Take your containers to where you live, leave John and your tenants to it. Or is there a massive bit of info missing here? Are you renting it out to a family member or something?
ExitChasedByABee · 30/05/2021 22:05

I think if it’s an option to take the plants home with you then you should do that. Drip trays might be a good idea, but like you said, you know your plants and I don’t think John will be able to tend to them the way you would so the best possible solution would be take the plants with you.

It’s not for John’s sake but the sake of your tenants, these regular visits that are twice a week, regardless of how long they’re for or what the purpose is, might be a tad off-putting as it’s a not really necessary.

Also, I think it’s unfair that John seems to have sole use of the garden/patio apart. I’m hoping you’re tenants are actually comfortable enough to use the garden. That would be one of my bigger concerns to be honest. I would be more worried if John is making the tenants feel as though they can’t use the garden as he’s been so accustomed to having it to himself.

ExitChasedByABee · 30/05/2021 22:06

your*

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 22:06

I suppose OP has rented out the flat but without the outside space, same as you could do with a parking space.

That might make sense if you, say, worked near the rented house and told your tenants that their rent doesn't include (one of) the parking space(s).... but surely, if that were the case, you'd park up or drive away your car in a minute or two and be on your way. You wouldn't just sit in your car on somebody else's drive for 5 hours.

I'm also pretty sure I know why the tenants don't use the garden, if they have been told that it's actually theirs. That's if there is any garden left to use, if it's full of so many plants that it takes hours at a time to water. I wonder if they also keep the curtains of any adjacent windows/patio doors closed all the time as well, if they (like most people) value their privacy.

Sorry, but this set-up would definitely be a deal-breaker for me, if I were looking for a home to rent.

Hardertobreathe · 30/05/2021 22:07

Why does it even take 5 hours a week? I have lawns front and back, pots, patio, 4 borders, fruit trees & veg planted but I don’t spend that long on the garden each week.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 30/05/2021 22:07

I actually find it a bit odd that you rent out the flat but still treat the garden as though you live there

So do I.

If I were the tenant I'd find this very objectionable, even if I never stepped onto the patio from one week to the next. Or is it an Air B&B sort of thing, so you rent it out, but no-one lives there permanently?

Why don't you just take your pots to your own home, OP, then you could tend them as intensively as you like.

Cheeserton · 30/05/2021 22:08

I'm with the mob. What on earth are you round this rented property so much for? Utter nightmare for tenants.

Unsure33 · 30/05/2021 22:09

Can you move your plants to another part of the garden?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 22:09

And also, have I understood correctly that the garden belongs to ALL of the tenants, but nobody on the upper floors ever uses it? Is that because they're not interested or might it be because they feel put in their place and utterly excluded by their neighbour's landlady and the man next door?

HerMammy · 30/05/2021 22:10

Is there a thread yet from tenants with a LL who swans into the garden every week?
YABU as a landlord and massively so.

lunar1 · 30/05/2021 22:10

It's incredibly unfair on your tenants to have you there so much, I only go to my apartment when my tenants ask me to. Move your plants to your home.

Benjispruce3 · 30/05/2021 22:11

Drip trays are needed. Also, I think you could be more considerate about when you go to garden. Perhaps not when he’s likely to be enjoying the patio.

CovidCorvid · 30/05/2021 22:11

I haven’t done 5 hours of gardening in my massive garden in the last year.....what on Earth are you doing for 5 hours a week?

Swap sides of the patio so he has the dry side?

purpledagger · 30/05/2021 22:11

I love it when a thread gets derailed on a really small point (in this case, why the Op is gardening in a place she doesn't live in)

I'm team John here. Water runs on my patio when I water my plants and it looks unsightly. Even more so if it's someone else's water. John suggested he water your plants, but this isn't your preferred option, so get drip trays to stop the water from running - such a simple solution.

Benjispruce3 · 30/05/2021 22:13

And yes, if you a actually have tenants in the property it’s really weird that you attend so often. Take your plants to your home.

MoiraRose4 · 30/05/2021 22:13

YABU and massively so. It isn’t your garden, it’s your tenants’ garden, so you shouldn’t be watering ‘your’ plants at all.

ChicChaos · 30/05/2021 22:13

Almost unbelievable setup here Hmm

How is that much water leaking all over a patio from watering plants in pots? Never mind the fact that you go back to a property you rent out for so long, if the plants are in pots why don't you move them to where you are now?

RickiTarr · 30/05/2021 22:14

@AttaGirrrrl

I’m more confused about why you’re going there if you have tenants. How do they feel about it?
Yes, this.

That seems quite intrusive and controlling, especially as it’s meant to be a communal garden anyway.

Sudoku88 · 30/05/2021 22:14

Thanks for all your messages. Just to answer your questions: Regarding the tenant situation, it was a recent informal temporary arrangement with family friend and one of my DC will be moving in there very shortly. They have absolutely no issues with me sorting out the garden.

As as for the people who live in the rest of the block, I’m not bothered if they went to the garden/ patio as it is after all communal space, it is not a privately owned garden. I spent money doing it up as it was much nicer having something nice right outside your door rather than a muddy dump. The other leaseholders weren’t bothered whether we did it up or not, they showed no interest in it. I don’t have a garden, otherwise I would be growing stuff there. I don’t water for 2.5 hours. I attend to the plants and then finally water them.

Although I pay a hefty service charge. It seems I am not entitled to use the space at all. Anyway, my DC will be moving there shortly so they can sit out all day every day and keep John and his wife company! Saying that, I’ll probably move back myself soon. That will make John happy!

OP posts:
frankenpoodle · 30/05/2021 22:16

Maybe OP's tenants don't care to go into the garden or can't, for some reason. They may not care if she's over to tend to the garden every week. Maybe they even like it, since they get the benefit of a nice view from some windows without any of the work.

OP, as others have said, I'd use something to catch the drips, or possibly change my routine so that I water those pots first, unless you have repotted something. I'd also explain to the neighbour that gardening is your hobby and you enjoy doing the watering yourself. If he sees that you're trying to reduce the impact your watering has on his side of the patio, he may back off.

Treacletoots · 30/05/2021 22:17

Jesus Christ. Is this for real.

My first thought is it's entirely possible OP has rented the apartment but not the garden to their tenants but... Can't quite get my head around WHY. Why the fuck would you do this?

I wouldn't dream of harassing my tenants like this. I only go round if asked to.

OP needs to live in a house with a garden or, simply move back in to this flat

Utterly bizarre

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 22:19

I love it when a thread gets derailed on a really small point (in this case, why the Op is gardening in a place she doesn't live in)

It's not really derailing, though. If somebody started a thread asking how to get their dog to use stainless steel cutlery at the dining table instead of the bone-handled set he insisted on, would you really expect nobody to address the dog elephant in the dining room?? Grin

How is that much water leaking all over a patio from watering plants in pots?

It's running for 5 hours - you could fill several large paddling pools in less time than that.