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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say I'll never bother again

288 replies

Rosebel · 30/05/2021 11:16

Yesterday discussed with my older children and husband about going out today. They all seemed enthusiastic about it.
Except none of them bothered to get up until now. DD2 asked when we're going out but I said we weren't going now.
Weather is shit now and I'm pissed off with them. Yes I could have got them up earlier but they are teenagers and husband is supposed to be an adult. They all knew we were supposed to be going out.
My husband is bitchimg at me saying I should have woken him but FFS he knew the plan.
Got myself and baby ready but now just think why did I bother? So shall I just say fuck it, no more days out?

OP posts:
Tuckedinbelly · 30/05/2021 11:17

Cutting your nose off a bit. It's only 11am. Why not go out for lunch instead?

Floralnomad · 30/05/2021 11:18

Do they have alarm clocks and had you specified a time ?

Chamomileteaplease · 30/05/2021 11:19

When you decided on the day out last night, was it discussed that everyone should be ready to leave at eg 9am ? Or was a time not mentioned?

And yes your dh sounds childish but I can imagine teenagers needing a prod.

PleaseReferToMeAsBritneySpears · 30/05/2021 11:19

Why couldn't you have knocked on the door and woken them up? "Time to get up! Get ready cos we're going out!" It wouldn't have been too much bother, would it?

DysmalRadius · 30/05/2021 11:19

I think that's fair enough. I've said to mine 'I don't mind making a plan and getting packed lunches/car loaded/sort appropriately clothing, but I cannot supply enough enthusiasm for everyone so you need to get yourselves ready without me having to beg or it won't happen.' And that applies to my husband as well.

ButtercupSquash · 30/05/2021 11:20

Not getting a wake up call might be a wake up call for them.
Husband should organise the next day out.
I feel for you.

Myneighboursnorlax · 30/05/2021 11:20

I think you’re being a bit childish. What time had you wanted to go out? If the weather is shit now then it still would have been shit at this time even if you’d gone out earlier. Unless you were planning to travel for hours to get to your destination then there’s still plenty of time left in the day!

User629202 · 30/05/2021 11:20

It all seems a bit dramatic for the sake of sticking your head round the teenagers’ doors and saying it was time to get ready.

Fair enough to be annoyed at your husband though, he’s definitely old enough to take responsibility for himself.

honeygirlz · 30/05/2021 11:24

Maybe just go out with baby? They need to learn that you won’t wait for them.

I would tell everyone the day before what time everyone needs to be ready to leave, and if they’re not ready, they stay behind.

Also, maybe take it in turns to organise things, so it doesn’t fall to you.

user1471427614 · 30/05/2021 11:24

I understand your pain, adults should be able to get themselves up. I bet they would have if it was something they had planned to do. Very selfish of them

Fnib · 30/05/2021 11:26

I think in your shoes I'd go out with the baby. I can feel your frustration from here !

KarensChoppyGob · 30/05/2021 11:27

YABU. Whereabouts are you? Still lovely and sunny here, plus since when is the day over if you don't go out before midday Confused.

Sounds like an overreaction to me, sorry.

starfishmummy · 30/05/2021 11:28

Unless your "older dc" are adults then surely reminding them to get up is not unusual?

HeronLanyon · 30/05/2021 11:29

Well with most teenagers and many dh s you need to spell it all out - time to be up and time to be out.
It sounds to me as though you were making a point and working yourself up rather than just wake them up ! Ie enabling hem to fail (‘again’ I’ll bet you thkight).
Shame you ruined your own day.
Whip them into shape next time. Military stylée.

Original poster
Rosebel · 30/05/2021 11:31

Yes I'm annoyed because it's not the first time. We all agreed to be in the car by 10 at the latest. Kids have alarms (and manage to use them for school).
My husband said we'll go out tomorrow but I'll just get up and go out with the baby if they don't bother tomorrow.

OP posts:
thelegohooverer · 30/05/2021 11:33

I understand how you’re feeling but it’s a bit passive aggressive and you’re probably the only one suffering and seething.
Next time set out your expectations (we’ll be leaving at 9am, set your alarms), and if they’re not up go by yourself or douse them with water
I know how irritating it is when all the planning and preparation and even thinking falls to you but it’s far more peaceful to just speak up earlier than seethe.

thelegohooverer · 30/05/2021 11:34

Ah sorry cross post. So you did set out reasonable expectations.
In that case I’d think carefully about what would suit you to do. Go if you’d have a nice time. Don’t if it wouldn’t. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.

SamMaxFrankieDuke · 30/05/2021 11:35

Happened here a few weeks ago. Everyone was aware and agreed to be ready to get up and out by 9am. It was after midday by the time they were all up, only DH was showered. If it wasn't for COVID, I'd go without them.

Happens with film nights. They are supposed to start at 7:30pm so they finish at a reasonable time. If they still aren't ready by 9pm, I put what I want on and open the wine.

3Britnee · 30/05/2021 11:36

Go out all day with the baby.

Theunamedcat · 30/05/2021 11:36

I would have left with the baby at 10am

DysmalRadius · 30/05/2021 11:36

Well with most teenagers and many dh s you need to spell it all out - time to be up and time to be out.

You only do if you accept that it's your role to do that for everyone. Not everyone wants to have to chivvy their whole family into having fun at the expense of their own enjoyment.

DeathBy1000PipeCleaners · 30/05/2021 11:37

I get it, Rosebel. We're meant to be meeting friends for lunch today: partner is still asleep and it's 11:30.

He will ask why I didn't wake him. He is a grown man with multiple alarm clocks who manages to be on time for work meetings.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 30/05/2021 11:37

Still plenty of time to do something. Shame about the weather. It's beautiful everywhere afaik and no rain today. Very unlucky

Crazycakelady17 · 30/05/2021 11:37

I would be annoyed but I would also woke them up! We don’t get many days out now the teens are 19 and 16 but yesterday little one 11 jumped on Them to get them up we enjoyed a lovely walk and lunch
Maybe dump the baby in the room that will get the. Moving sorry today hasn’t gone as planned let DH look after baby and sit in the garden with some wine and a yummy lunch

itsgettingwierd · 30/05/2021 11:39

Why is it OP role to get everyone up?

They agreed a time and then didn't bother to get ready for that time.