To say I'll never bother again

[Rosebel]

Yesterday discussed with my older children and husband about going out today. They all seemed enthusiastic about it.
Except none of them bothered to get up until now. DD2 asked when we're going out but I said we weren't going now.
Weather is shit now and I'm pissed off with them. Yes I could have got them up earlier but they are teenagers and husband is supposed to be an adult. They all knew we were supposed to be going out.
My husband is bitchimg at me saying I should have woken him but FFS he knew the plan.
Got myself and baby ready but now just think why did I bother? So shall I just say fuck it, no more days out?

@StillCoughingandLaughing Ack, well then that's perfectly acceptable to make someone feel crap because they didn't put together a PowerPoint to make themselves "clear" to the ignorant people of mumsnet. Rather than actually looking at it from her perspective, which very clearly comes across as frustration and annoyance.. Too which she is intitled too. Why would she stay? She reached out, people were arses because she wasn't accurately clear!!

Precisely how did I, or anyone, make her ‘feel like crap’?

@Rosebel

Yesterday discussed with my older children and husband about going out today. They all seemed enthusiastic about it. Except none of them bothered to get up until now. DD2 asked when we're going out but I said we weren't going now. Weather is shit now and I'm pissed off with them. Yes I could have got them up earlier but they are teenagers and husband is supposed to be an adult. They all knew we were supposed to be going out. My husband is bitchimg at me saying I should have woken him but FFS he knew the plan. Got myself and baby ready but now just think why did I bother? So shall I just say fuck it, no more days out?

OP’s original post. All it needed was one tiny extra point. Instead of ‘DD2 asked when we're going out but I said we weren't going now’, ‘DD2 asked when we're going out but I said we weren't going now - we’d missed the booking (and had lost the money)’.

There, all done in a few seconds. I didn’t even have to fire up PowerPoint.

And pre paid for stuff I would drag everyone out the house. Shouting loudly.

But then I simply cannot afford to waste money

It's great that you can form clarity with a clear head.. But this mum didn't have a clear mind, especially when her emotions are high. From her post, I see a frustrated mum who needed a rant and reassurance..

I think the problem is that OP's stance reminded many posters of passive-aggressive family members of their own who often sulk & strop over fairly minor issues.

It's draining.

@Rosebel

Okay. Obviously I was wrong to expect that two teenagers and someone of almost 40 could get out of bed on their own and it's my fault the day didn't go ahead. Guess I'll know better if I decide to do something nice for them again.

It's not all your fault, but maybe you forgot what it was like to be a teenager (or maybe you were a very good teenager?). People say things but when the cold early tired sleepy hour of the morning comes? Two different things. I myself have been guilty of saying I'll go somewhere tomorrow and don't get to it. Booking things with teenagers = glutton for punishment. Where I am very little is open for 'booking' because if there is an outbreak or sudden lockdown, the place would have to refund. So usually places these days are book/pay at the door. I don't know anywhere that accepts bookings. You must have booked for something seriously extremely expensive and exotic (madness for teens in normal times). Ask any parent and they'd advise not to book anything for teenagers. Unless it is like, for nighttime. I get the feeling you haven't been around teenagers much? I'm almost 45, and even then with me people know all plans are soft until the morning. And I am not a morning person. On the weekends/days off I only attend things in the late afternoon/night. I don't even exist before 1pm. You NEVER book anything for teens before 4pm - something I've learned. Ancient golden rule #24117 .

@Beline4u

It's great that you can form clarity with a clear head.. But this mum didn't have a clear mind, especially when her emotions are high. From her post, I see a frustrated mum who needed a rant and reassurance..

Right, so we can all just drip feed to our heart’s content on threads as long as we can do the ‘oh but dressed mum tho’ disclaimer? I see.

I can possibly understand the OP forgetting to add this (pretty essential) detail in her opening post - but I don’t understand how the OP managed to go through nine pages of replies over the course of two days, replying several times herself, without ever once noticing that dozens of posters had suggested they merely left later. Did not one of these posts trigger something? She didn’t once think to say ‘For all those asking why we didn’t just go later, this was not an option as it was a pre-booked event and we couldn’t change the time’?

Jesus, give it a rest @StillCoughingandLaughing You’re like a dog with a bone.

I’m responding to comments directed at me. I don’t see why I shouldn’t. If it bothers you, tell the people digging at me to ‘give it a rest’ instead - or even better, keep your beak out.

I thought OP said, in one of her earlier posts, the reason she didn’t want to leave later was because she didn’t want to get back too late. It sounded like they could have gone later but she didn’t want to, that comment didn’t make sound like they’d missed anything that was booked...the booking thing was then mentioned later.

@StillCoughingandLaughing glad you can see!

I think in most relationships there's a mismatch of responsibilities, to and fro. I mean, yes, all adults ought to be able to get themselves up at an agreed time, and it's no one else's fault if it doesn't happen. But we all know that some people just aren't going to do it. Same thing with - I dunno - organising holidays. Either partner could do it, but usually there's one who does.

In our house, it's me that nags and cajoles everyone out of the door on time, else they'd all sleep all day. On the other hand, if the Beloved didn't organise holidays, I'd never leave the house at all, punctually or otherwise.

So I guess I'm simply suggesting that if you're the getter-upper in your house, you might as well accept it. I imagine there's some equivalent responsibility that your other half takes on,