Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say I'll never bother again

288 replies

Rosebel · 30/05/2021 11:16

Yesterday discussed with my older children and husband about going out today. They all seemed enthusiastic about it.
Except none of them bothered to get up until now. DD2 asked when we're going out but I said we weren't going now.
Weather is shit now and I'm pissed off with them. Yes I could have got them up earlier but they are teenagers and husband is supposed to be an adult. They all knew we were supposed to be going out.
My husband is bitchimg at me saying I should have woken him but FFS he knew the plan.
Got myself and baby ready but now just think why did I bother? So shall I just say fuck it, no more days out?

OP posts:
misspattylacosta · 30/05/2021 13:24

I have a teen and a 10 year old. I never, ever, plan to do anything with them in the morning. I would not plan to go out until after lunch

for us it would mean miss most of their sports, all their competitions, and all our days out - and car parks being fulled by the time you arrive anywhere.

(and being far too hot in the summer months, being too dark in the winter ones!)

Original poster
Rosebel · 30/05/2021 13:25

Well I have given them the choice of going out tomorrow if my husband sorts it out and if want to get up.
If they don't then fine. Perhaps I was. unreasonable but they agreed to it, everyone had input in to the outing and then no one got up.
Tbf I'm more annoyed with my husband than the kids

OP posts:
misspattylacosta · 30/05/2021 13:27

@Rosebel

Well I didn't force the time on anyone. The kids decided the time, it was their decision. Frankly I couldn't care less if we don't go out. DDs were moaning we never go out so I planned with them for their benefit and they decided to stay in bed. I'm not controlling. That's why I said to my husband he can sort the day out tomorrow if they want to go. If they don't fine.
You sound very angry for someone who couldn't care less.

It's a bank holiday, things have finally reopened, weather is pleasant pretty much everywhere...

What a waste of a day and how ridiculous to sulk and moan and refuse to wake anyone up. I don't get it.

mam0918 · 30/05/2021 13:27

Where are you going that needs to be done before 11am?

If its a day at a theme park or your driving several hours to do a day trip in a distant city then I understand needing an 8-9am start but virtually anything else can be done from 11am just fine.

I didnt get up until 11 and we already went for sunday dinner and will be going to see a film later as a family, hardlies hard.

Also dont know where you live that the weathers crap but its hotter than the bloody sun here, DH wanted to go ot but my pasty ass might burst into flames if I step out in this heat lol.

SamMaxFrankieDuke · 30/05/2021 13:29

Same here, the rest of the family complain about not going out. I can take or leave Go Ape, theme parks etc. If they want to go, it needs to be worth our time, I'm not getting there at 2pm.

We were going to a country park with rope swings and they wanted lunch and ice creams there. They are all over 14 years old and have alarms on their phone. The like the idea of going but can't be arsed and would prefer to sleep in.

I'm not complaining about not going and there isn't an atmosphere all day. I'm up and ready and if they can't be arsed, I'll get on with something else. That's not passive aggressive.

One DC needs to be expedited out of the door to get out to school. I can't be fecked with that shit at the weekend.

Moonwhite · 30/05/2021 13:29

This sounds like a last-straw thing.

If a woman made a thread saying that her DH was getting pissed off because he always had to wake her up for their plans, she'd be told it was time to grow up. Probably with a few "Poor bloke, I hope he divorces you"s thrown in too.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 30/05/2021 13:31

I am really curious now what the plan was that it couldn't be moved🙈 sorry

WalkthisWayUK · 30/05/2021 13:32

I understand your feelings but I think you are responding in a way that makes you a martyr and won’t help you.

I guess it’s a bit late now, midday, but I hope you instead made the most of them feeling a bit rubbish (even your husband, who is being defensive) and make sure you do something you really like with the baby today.

MilduraS · 30/05/2021 13:33

My husband is still in bed (yes, we're in the U.K.). I've bitten my tongue but inside I'm annoyed he's spent half the bank holiday in bed for no reason other than his inability to go to bed at a sensible hour. He claims he has insomnia but is it any wonder he can't get to sleep if he's sleeping into the afternoon 🤔
When the restrictions stop making everything so difficult I'm going to passive aggressively book activities at 9am until he starts adulting again. 10am-11am was his average pre lockdown and I was ok with that but it's gotten worse over the past year.

Lucyh179 · 30/05/2021 13:33

I think you're right to feel pissed off when you suggested something nice. Try not to let it affect the future though. Tell them you're disappointed and try to move on

SamMaxFrankieDuke · 30/05/2021 13:33

OP has to get up with a baby.

Definitely leave DH to organise days out for the older DC. We don't have young DC. Op leave your oh to get up with the baby tomorrow.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 30/05/2021 13:34

I'm going to passive aggressively book activities at 9am until he starts adulting again

That's a good way to ensure you are doing them without him😂 (i would boycott any day off activity before 11)

littlepattilou · 30/05/2021 13:36

@Moonwhite

This sounds like a last-straw thing.

If a woman made a thread saying that her DH was getting pissed off because he always had to wake her up for their plans, she'd be told it was time to grow up. Probably with a few "Poor bloke, I hope he divorces you"s thrown in too.

I doubt it Confused
misspattylacosta · 30/05/2021 13:36

@MilduraS

My husband is still in bed (yes, we're in the U.K.). I've bitten my tongue but inside I'm annoyed he's spent half the bank holiday in bed for no reason other than his inability to go to bed at a sensible hour. He claims he has insomnia but is it any wonder he can't get to sleep if he's sleeping into the afternoon 🤔 When the restrictions stop making everything so difficult I'm going to passive aggressively book activities at 9am until he starts adulting again. 10am-11am was his average pre lockdown and I was ok with that but it's gotten worse over the past year.
What does it have to do with "adulting"? Confused

If you have young kids, then yes, a parent has to get up, parent, and organise a decent time for the kids. Anything else is not acceptable.

If you had plans, then yes too, he should have been up.

If you had nothing planned, he should be allowed to get up when he wants!

OhThoseBubbles · 30/05/2021 13:39

YADNBU you've got a baby to look after and you're all ready why can't they be? Half the commenters on here I don't think have ever had babies! Xx

littlepattilou · 30/05/2021 13:39

Seriously though @Rosebel where ARE you if the weather is shit?

I have just looked at a map of the UK and Ireland, and it's totally cloud-free!

MilduraS · 30/05/2021 13:39

The problem is, tomorrow he won't sleep until 3 or 4am because his sleeping pattern is such a mess. It's then my responsibility to get him up for work because he sleeps through his work alarms and I have the joy of listening to him cuss out his computer all day because the lack of sleep has put him in a foul mood.

Minstrelsgetinmybelly · 30/05/2021 13:41

If you had knocked on doors and reminded people once (not multiple times) then I would say you aren’t being unreasonable.

However seething downstairs without helping the situation then I do think your being a bit unreasonable.

I see it a bit like work, I might have a direct report who we agree on a situation / work load but I still follow up and check in. I wouldn’t wait till the deadline then say well you haven’t done this and I could see you where going to fail but didn’t say anything so now I’m annoyed.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 30/05/2021 13:42

Only on MN is weekends planned with military precision. Everyone I know irl is far more laid back about these things, unless its set clubs. And I don't know anybody male or female who wouldn't shout get up we are going out, just because the other pe

sweeneytoddsrazor · 30/05/2021 13:42

People have alarms.

Justbeenjabbed · 30/05/2021 13:43

I have to be honest it sounds like you need to chill out a bit. It’s not you vs your family. You knew they needed to get up early, you chose not to wake them, choosing instead to punish them for not doing what they “should” have done by being moody.

It’s a bank holiday. There are no rules about getting up, there are no rules about going out, things are what they are, are you going to have a pleasent day together or are you going to spend it griping with one another?

SamMaxFrankieDuke · 30/05/2021 13:46

I don't wait around for late people either. It's not passive aggressive or whiney if everyone knows the score. I have a few friends and a DH that are flexible about start times. Film starts a 7pm and it take 30 mins to get there? DH would leave at 6:40pm.

Since having DC I'm up earlier, no matter how tired I am. DH could easily sleep until 2pm. If he has a few days off, he will stay up later and later and his body clock will be completely different. He didn't do this when the DC were little though. He did half the getting up in the night and taking turns getting up.

butterpuffed · 30/05/2021 14:05

It was only just gone 11am when you wrote this. it comes across as if you're pleased they were late so you could have a moan.

YouJustDoYou · 30/05/2021 14:06

I shout, "are you coming or not? I'm leaving in 30 mins". Then I just go out, if they're not ready then they're not ready but I'm not going to sit around and waste my whole day.

littlepattilou · 30/05/2021 14:12

@Rosebel It's a lovely afternoon, and is going to be a lovely evening.

Why not go for an afternoon picnic/afternoon out? It's not dark til nearly 10pm! Still loads of day left yet!