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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I fucking hate where we live and don't know what to do

269 replies

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:03

I'm so upset, I fucking hate where we live.

We only bought the house in November and I just don't think moving now would be a possibility. There are jobs half done that we'd need to finish before selling which will take time to save up for.

I feel like crying every day.

It's because of our neighbours in the main. They are horrible and if I'd have seen them / heard them when we viewed I'd have not thought for a second about buying this house.

I'm terrified that we'll never get rid of the thing because of them.

OP posts:

Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:04

I know this isn't an AIBU but posting for traffic. I just need to talk to someone. I feel depressed with it.

OP posts:

HollowTalk · 28/05/2021 14:05

Oh that's really tough. How close are they, physically? What have they done? Do you think the previous owner left because of them?

Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:09

@HollowTalk

Oh that's really tough. How close are they, physically? What have they done? Do you think the previous owner left because of them?

Literally next door (terraced house).

Oh lots of stuff. It's a young guy and his girlfriend and he's always got mates hanging about, smoking weed, shouting, police been out multiple times, dog that barks and barks and barks.

You can sort of see each others gardens when we're in them and they can see into my kitchen from the garden so I genuinely don't go into my kitchen all day sometimes when they are all hanging about outside, I also struggle to let my dog out in the garden because I feel so intimidated by them all.

Pretty sure he steals bikes too as there is always a parade of things coming in and out of his garden, vans coming to collect them in the evening etc...

Everyone else is lovely but I just hate living next to these people.

OP posts:

Peridot1 · 28/05/2021 14:09

That sounds really tough.

Is there anyway you can get the jobs done? Maybe in the next six months even? Then you can have a plan to sell. Maybe knowing there may be a time limit will help?

Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:12

I've told DH I want to move as soon as we can. It's just the jobs we started when we first moved in (before we realised) are quite big things, like the garden, bathroom, kitchen etc... All things that cost a lot and that our plan was to do bits of as we went along.

It would be hard to sell now or even any time relatively soon as everything is half done so like the garden is ripped up, waiting for turf and decking, the bathroom needs filing and a new suite put in, same with the kitchen etc...

I feel sick at the thought of having to stay here for years.

OP posts:

FAQs · 28/05/2021 14:12

Get one of those magic blinds put in for your window, it’s rough living next to awful neighbours you have my empathy

Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:12

The previous owner was a landlord so I don't know if he had any issues with it. It was vacant when we bought it

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Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:13

Tiling**

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NatalieH2220 · 28/05/2021 14:13

Did you ask about neighbours when you viewed the house at all? I remember when we sold our flat we had to complete a questionnaire and I'm sure one of the questions related to disputes with neighbours or anything that needed to be declared. Not sure if the same thing applies for a house..

Do the neighbours own the house or is it council?

Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:14

I'm so scared that we'll never sell it because of them.

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Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:14

@NatalieH2220

Do the neighbours own the house or is it council?

Yes but it was a landlord so they hadn't lived her themselves. They just said they were aware of their tenant having any issues but they weren't likely to say even if they did I imagine.

It's housing association next door.

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Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:15

Weren't aware**

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OrangeRug · 28/05/2021 14:15

Do you know if they rent or own it?

Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:16

I'm at home with my young child and I feel like we can't even go outside in the nice weather to play or anything.

I go to my Dad's house half an hour away most days now so that I can get out of the house and forget about it for the day and my son can play outside.

OP posts:

Cattitudes · 28/05/2021 14:16

At least if you have made quite a few changes you can spin it that you moved to develop the house.

TheFuckingDogs · 28/05/2021 14:16

I would start “killing them with kindness” if you can. Remember they’re just humans - if you start trying to talk to them a bit and open some communication it might make stuff a bit more livable for the time being

Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:17

@Cattitudes

At least if you have made quite a few changes you can spin it that you moved to develop the house.

Yes this is what I was thinking, least it's a reason to leave so soon.

But I just don't think there is anyway for us to do it soon. Or as soon as I'd like anyway.

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Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:18

@TheFuckingDogs

No, I can't. I had abuse from one of the guys friends once. I'm too scared to say anything to them now. They aren't approachable honestly.

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TheFuckingDogs · 28/05/2021 14:19

You need to find out if they own theirs etc then because they could maybe end up leaving soon and that could change everything, try and keep positive

DaisyFeather · 28/05/2021 14:20

Why don’t you get it valued just to see? Sometimes the jobs left don’t actually knock that much off, and if they do, you do the bare minimum to get it presentable and try again.

I’ve viewed complete wrecks that were priced the same as neighbouring houses because of the structure itself.

Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:20

@TheFuckingDogs

You need to find out if they own theirs etc then because they could maybe end up leaving soon and that could change everything, try and keep positive

They don't own it. It's owned by the housing association

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Laiste · 28/05/2021 14:21

If they were already living there when you bought your house, and you didn't notice any problems, then you'll be able to sell to someone else who won't notice either.

What time of day did you come and view it? Have your viewings that same sort of time.

Winter and during the week is a good time to have viewings if you want to avoid your potential buyers seeing the neighbours hanging about outside ect.

Stick it out this summer and then get it on the market in Oct.

Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:22

Funnily, when we moved in my DH did speak to him (before we had any issues) and he told him they were moving in a couple of weeks. That was months ago now though and nothing has happened so I don't think they are going anywhere.

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Essexgirlupnorth · 28/05/2021 14:22

Have you reported their behaviour to the housing association? We had difficult neighbours that were housing association they did improve after most of the street complained about them having late noisy parties etc.
I was also get some privacy film to put on your kitchen windows so they can't see in.
If you like the house apart from the neighbours hopefully they might move out at some point.

Original poster

PorkAPoe · 28/05/2021 14:23

Winter and during the week is a good time to have viewings if you want to avoid your potential buyers seeing the neighbours hanging about outside ect

Thank you, I'll suggest that to DH.

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