Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend has just blocked me,aibu to think I've done nothing wrong?

323 replies

louisabb · 26/05/2021 17:10

I don't understand when my friend has outbursts like this.
Friday we had organised to meet up for a look around the shops and I said lunch.
Lately she's been saying she has no appetite and likes nibbly food.
So I found 3 places and sent her the menu and asked if she liked the look of them.
She said "it's only Wednesday,I'm not deciding yet"
Then said "actually I just want to get a sandwich"
I said "oh no worries,I'm fancying more a hot meal so how about we find a nice pub that does sandwiches plus a choice of meals"
No reply.
Then a hour later she rang me angry
"I don't like to plan anything,I've got no interest in food "
I said "ok well why did you organise it with me"
She said "oh there you go blaming me"
I said "I'm not sure what the problem is,I was just trying to find somewhere you liked"
She replied "I like nowhere"
I said "sorry I'm a bit confused,do you want to cancel Friday ?"
She said "oh blaming me for wanting to cancel(she swore ) hung up and blocked me on WhatsApp

What did I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
louisabb · 26/05/2021 17:11

*we not I said lunch

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 26/05/2021 17:14

Find a new friend. She's nothing but hard work and drama.

Dishwashersaurous · 26/05/2021 17:14

So she wanted a look round the shops.

You wanted to do lunch. You then suggest menus etc and a pub lunch etc.

She didn't want to do lunch. She told you that.

You could have just grabbed a sandwich at Starbucks etc, as she told you that she didn't want to eat , for whatever reason.

Her reaction is over the top, blocking etc, but sounds like you weren't listening to her

Original poster
louisabb · 26/05/2021 17:15

@Dishwashersaurous no sorry she was the one who said let's go somewhere for nibbly bits
So I found places and asked which she liked.
Then she said she wanted a sandwich
So I said let's go somewhere that did both
She hates Starbucks

OP posts:
SunSeeker2 · 26/05/2021 17:16

Friend?

ChatterMonkey · 26/05/2021 17:16

Sounds like she has issues around food, is there a possibility of an eating disorder?

Seems strange that shes been talking about only eating small meals, and has had an outburst about going out for a meal in public.

CharlotteRose90 · 26/05/2021 17:19

Yeah sorry I’m with her. She wanted the shops you pushed food on her. My appetites gone at the minute due to being ill and i wouldn’t like a friend to be pushing for food. You need to respect what she asks.

notanothertakeaway · 26/05/2021 17:19

Some people like to plan ahead. Some prefer to be more spontaneous. Both approaches are fine. You both sound a bit prickly

Pieceofpurplesky · 26/05/2021 17:20

Is she broke and doesn't want to eat anything big. Surely you could have just planned on the day when she said "it's only Wednesday". You really pushed the issue

Acupofcamus · 26/05/2021 17:21

Does she have an eating disorder? That was honestly my first thought.

justanotherneighinparadise · 26/05/2021 17:21

Eating disorder?

Original poster
louisabb · 26/05/2021 17:21

I didn't push food on her.
Last week she said shall we go for shopping and nibbles.
I find nibbles and she goes off on one.
She's lost about 3 stone in weight lately and I can't remember the last time I seen her eat
I'm worried she's got a problem around food
I won't be able to ask her or she flys off it screaming

OP posts:
Original poster
louisabb · 26/05/2021 17:22

The only reason I plan ahead is because she drops me in it so much.
I get ready and 5 mins before she will say she can't be bothered or it's raining so she's staying in bed.

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 26/05/2021 17:23

She obviously wanted to be spontaneous. I know that its difficult at the moment with prebooking everything but she obviously wasn't bothered about eating.

When she said its only Wednesday I don't know, you then pushed it, and she snapped

shouldistop · 26/05/2021 17:23

Does she have an eating disorder or anxiety?

LadyCatStark · 26/05/2021 17:23

Sounds like she’s got issues going on around food. It seem like lots of people do at the moment. I’m sure it’s more about her than you!

GucciJackie · 26/05/2021 17:24

I wouldnt push it for now. She over reacted but maybe she will realise that and reach back out to you.

ThinWomansBrain · 26/05/2021 17:24

I used to have a friend like this

definitely past tense
I lost count of the number of evenings wasted peering at restaurant menus.
In over fifteen years of seeing her pretty much weekly, I can only recollect one restaurant that she actually liked, and didn't have a tantrum or be rude/stroppy with the staff.

lastqueenofscotland · 26/05/2021 17:25

She was over the top but I’d take “grabbing a sandwich” as politely telling you to give it a rest about food and you didn’t.

BlackPetunia · 26/05/2021 17:25

nibbles?? do people call food that? never heard it in RL

is she pregnant? the thought of food when nauseous would put me off to

Dishwashersaurous · 26/05/2021 17:25

so, you know that she's not bothered about planning in advance eg changes mind at last minute, so why are you trying to get her to change?

She doesn't like planning.

You can choose to live with that, or choose not to see her. Its entirely your choice

Blueskytoday06 · 26/05/2021 17:25

She has issues with food and / or money

Original poster
louisabb · 26/05/2021 17:25

Also I wasn't saying pick which one I was showing her the menu so she could decide what she wanted by Friday.

The other week She refused to go out because I left it "too last minute "
I can't win

OP posts:
Youdoyoutoday · 26/05/2021 17:25

In all honesty, you've done nothing wrong here so leave her to it, life is way too short to have people like her in your life.

If she does unblock you and apologies, accept it but move on, don't give in to these silly outbursts.

GucciJackie · 26/05/2021 17:26

@louisabb

The only reason I plan ahead is because she drops me in it so much. I get ready and 5 mins before she will say she can't be bothered or it's raining so she's staying in bed.
Having read this, she sounds too flakey to sit around waiting for her to reach back out to you! Double block her! Block her back 😂