Friend has just blocked me,aibu to think I've done nothing wrong?

[louisabb]

I don't understand when my friend has outbursts like this.
Friday we had organised to meet up for a look around the shops and I said lunch.
Lately she's been saying she has no appetite and likes nibbly food.
So I found 3 places and sent her the menu and asked if she liked the look of them.
She said "it's only Wednesday,I'm not deciding yet"
Then said "actually I just want to get a sandwich"
I said "oh no worries,I'm fancying more a hot meal so how about we find a nice pub that does sandwiches plus a choice of meals"
No reply.
Then a hour later she rang me angry
"I don't like to plan anything,I've got no interest in food "
I said "ok well why did you organise it with me"
She said "oh there you go blaming me"
I said "I'm not sure what the problem is,I was just trying to find somewhere you liked"
She replied "I like nowhere"
I said "sorry I'm a bit confused,do you want to cancel Friday ?"
She said "oh blaming me for wanting to cancel(she swore ) hung up and blocked me on WhatsApp

What did I do?

I’d be annoyed too, I don’t like planning every single detail, I’d rather just go out shopping and just find somewhere when we are hungry. It’s a shopping trip it dosnt need to be planned in minute detail.

What did I do?

You seriously need to ask?!

Why is your self-esteem so low that you accept this treatment as normal?

Why are you so bothered if she is annoyed if you don't invite her?

If you ignore her nothing will happen, things will be much better!

@PollyDarton1

Your friend has massive issues and will or already has alienated probably everyone from being OTT and dramatic.

Honestly, don't worry about it. All this chorus of 'well you shouldn't have pushed food' is ridiculous - she mentioned food in the first place and from your other messages it's clear you want to have some kind of idea of what to do going into the day as she's so flaky, plus a lot of places need to be booked at the moment.

If it's exhausting and serving no purpose, like toxic relationships, you are well within your right to cut them out of your life. If it was a genuine anxiety over eating, fair enough, but this person sounds like they have a repetitive behaviour of treating people like shit and then fishing them in again.

Exactly this.

I'm not sure why people try to find excuses for poor behaviour such as eating disorders or ASD. It's an insult to those of us that actually have diagnosis yet still manage to behave with decency to our friends and families.

Sorry, I'd be glad she blocked me.
She sounds hard work & a drama queen.
There's far too much frankly awful behaviour being accepted due to 'anxiety'. She was really rude to you & if you keep accepting it she'll keep doing it. Funny how she's not anxious about upsetting you.
Phase her out of your life, she's no friend & you sound like a lovely friend.
She doesn't deserve you.

bit of an over-reaction, and a childish one

but maybe she had her mind set on 'nibbles" and grab a bite somewhere, not booking a full lunch. I would have translated that as grabbing a pastry or a salad somewhere, not going to a pub for lunch and have a full "sandwich" meal.

Still, too over the top and dramatic to want to bother !

Leave her to it, she's done you a favour.

While it is likely that there's an eating disorder going on, that's her issue to work with, not getting stroppy with everyone else. If everything is hard work and at risk of confrontation, that's not a genuine two-way friendship.

What did I do?

You allow her to behave like this. Why?

Block her and enjoy your peace.Shes only blocked you to make you doubt yourself and make you fall in line.
Go out with your other friends and ignore her.

What a Drama Llama.

You can't win with something like that. Is she worth the hassle?

@louisabb

If I go out with other friends she will be cross I didn't invite her Yet if I invite her she says no and gets angry for asking her.

If she unblocks you, you should just block her. She sounds like hard work and not very pleasant. You are entitled to see other friends without her having a strop. Why would you want a friend who creates so much unecessary drama?

Sounds like she has an eating disorder. People with an ED have a lot of anxiety about eating out, especially when it’s not easy to count the calories.

She’s being rude and over dramatic. You’re honestly better off without someone so stressful in your life.

quite honestly when she does unblock you, which she probably will, then id quickly block her back. She sounds exhausting

I'm her only friend now.
She says she likes to eat at 9 pm when she's home alone.
I'm just going to leave her to it.
Not make plans.
Not ask her to make plans
Just let her do whatever she wants and il do the same

This is not a friendship and this is not how friends (or even adult acquaintances) behave towards each other (I'm assuming you're adults but what you describe is how a troubled girl in my son's year 7 class behaves). Please focus on real friends who treat you kindly.

@louisabb

The only reason I plan ahead is because she drops me in it so much. I get ready and 5 mins before she will say she can't be bothered or it's raining so she's staying in bed.

Why are you still 'friends' with her?

I doubt she sees you as a friend. More a combination of entourage and emotional punchbag.

I would drop her like a hot potato, and you should too. Nobody treats me like that. And nobody should treat you like that either.

If it was just this I might say eating disorder, and I'd be sympathetic. But 'I get ready and 5 mins before she will say she can't be bothered or it's raining so she's staying in bed.'?
Fuck that.
Consider her blocking you a mercy.

I can't understand why you bother? I guess you don't enjoy being her punch bag? Get some boundaries in place and block and ignore her.

She doesn't sound like much of a friend to be honest. She sounds like very hard work and a real drama queen. Be sure to block her if she tries to unblock you at any point.

This woman sounds unhinged! Certainly no friend I'd want.

It’s total bollocks she isn’t interested in food, if the human race had no interest in food we’d all starve to death because finding food is a major preoccupation in animals with no supermarket access.

She’s treating you like a piece of shit though and you need to take the opportunity she’s given you to escape. Who screams at friends in the real world? It’s unacceptable behaviour.

@louisabb

I'm her only friend now. She says she likes to eat at 9 pm when she's home alone. I'm just going to leave her to it. Not make plans. Not ask her to make plans Just let her do whatever she wants and il do the same

Signs of eating disorder:

1. Withdrawing/pushing away friends
2. Anxious about eating out in public
3. Eating alone (scared of eating in front of others)
4. Anxious about going off schedule
5. Talks about food, but doesn’t want to eat.

Just block her back and drop her as a friend. She sounds dramatic, exhausting and toxic. Don’t waste anymore time on her.

She sounds very annoying, inflexible and dramatic. She could just have a drink if she doesn't want food.

I’d leave her on blocked and block her everywhere else too. A friend doesn’t act like this!

Block.
Move on.

Toxic friends are a drain.