Friend has just blocked me,aibu to think I've done nothing wrong?

[louisabb]

I don't understand when my friend has outbursts like this.
Friday we had organised to meet up for a look around the shops and I said lunch.
Lately she's been saying she has no appetite and likes nibbly food.
So I found 3 places and sent her the menu and asked if she liked the look of them.
She said "it's only Wednesday,I'm not deciding yet"
Then said "actually I just want to get a sandwich"
I said "oh no worries,I'm fancying more a hot meal so how about we find a nice pub that does sandwiches plus a choice of meals"
No reply.
Then a hour later she rang me angry
"I don't like to plan anything,I've got no interest in food "
I said "ok well why did you organise it with me"
She said "oh there you go blaming me"
I said "I'm not sure what the problem is,I was just trying to find somewhere you liked"
She replied "I like nowhere"
I said "sorry I'm a bit confused,do you want to cancel Friday ?"
She said "oh blaming me for wanting to cancel(she swore ) hung up and blocked me on WhatsApp

What did I do?

Definitely think there could be an eating disorder at play here OP

I absolutely wouldn’t be contacting her again though tbh, life is too short for “friends” like that

"I'm her only friend now."
Well, what a surprise.

"Just let her do whatever she wants and il do the same"
I can only hope that means that you'll do whatever you want, rather than what she wants. Seriously, don't let anyone treat you like this.

[quote louisabb]@Dishwashersaurous no sorry she was the one who said let's go somewhere for nibbly bits
So I found places and asked which she liked.
Then she said she wanted a sandwich
So I said let's go somewhere that did both
She hates Starbucks [/quote]
"Friday we had organised to meet up for a look around the shops and I said lunch.
Lately she's been saying she has no appetite and likes nibbly food."

The answer you gave does not really correlate with your OP. She wanted to go round the shops. You wanted lunch and she didn't. Whilst she was being a bit dramatic you kind of forced something on her that she didn't want.

I'm not sure why people try to find excuses for poor behaviour such as eating disorders or ASD
Agree with this 100%
Beyond sick of arsehole behaviour being excused; especially with ASD etc
There’s a reason you’re her only friend, she’s a cunt.
➡️🗑

youre her only friend because the others have got better boundaries than you maybe?

It’s total bollocks she isn’t interested in food, if the human race had no interest in food we’d all starve to death because finding food is a major preoccupation in animals with no supermarket access.

she is a drama llama, no arguing about that

but there's nothing wrong with people not really interested in food, who eat because they need but are not fuss about spending money in restaurants, meeting in restaurants etc.

Any normal human being would have just said "let's not book a pub/ restaurant but grab a bite somewhere".

@Cosmos45 under my original post I immediately put "we" it was a typo
We had planned this a week ago

@misspattylacosta she has always loved food.
We used to eat out once a fortnight
She would send me pics of food all the time
Now I'm staring to think possible food problems as she will say
I ordered a size 10 so it's oversized
Or I'm smaller than a 10 but I get a 10
Ordering a salad and playing about with it

@Branleuse more than likely

Sounds like she wanted a look round the shops, which is what you organised, and you said let's get lunch.
She told you she just has no appetite and would just like "nibbly food."
So you sent her 3 different menus, to which she said actually, I just want to grab a sandwich.
So you still started talking about a sit down lunch at a pub, after she said she just wanted a sandwich.
I'd have interpreted that as can we just grab a sandwich on the day as take out from Starbucks if I feel hungry type thing.
Sounds like you just weren't listening to her so she got pissed off.
(Although the whole drama when you're out with other friends would do my head in)

Could be an eating disorder, or some other illness that makes her not want to eat. Or it could be that she's a drama llama and likes to make everything into an issue all about her (I would tend towards the second). I would block her and get on without her with your other friends.
I had a friend who liked to eat a hot lunch when we were out, and I preferred something light at midday, - so we'd go to a pub or a cafe and she'd have what she wanted and I'd maybe just have a coffee and scone/sandwich. We didn't fall out over it.
She sounds like far too much hard work - friendships are supposed to be nice happy things.

@louisabb

The only reason I plan ahead is because she drops me in it so much. I get ready and 5 mins before she will say she can't be bothered or it's raining so she's staying in bed.

I'm sorry but regardless of her troubles, if this is a regular occurrence, you're better off without her.

She overreacted, but I would feel harassed in her shoes too, to be sent details of 3 places with menus in that situation. My work requires me to go through a lot of info quickly, and having to then look over menus for a casual meet up would annoy me. It might be that she just wanted to go with the flow.
But judging by the blocking, there is more going on with her - it isn't ok to just block you over that.

The answer you gave does not really correlate with your OP. She wanted to go round the shops. You wanted lunch and she didn't. Whilst she was being a bit dramatic you kind of forced something on her that she didn't want

Exactly
Love how she's been internet diagnosed as having an eating disorder by posters too,
Maybe she just didn't want a bloody sit down meal and just wanted a sandwich maybe if they were passing by Boots or wherever lol) as they'd originally said they were going shopping.
Sounds like it had started to change what the day was going to be, and she just wanted to go shopping, not for a lunch too, and she tried to tell OP that.

LOL at people siding with the friend because OP tried to push food on her.

I could not imagine being this offended by a food menu. what a drama queen. sack her off - way too much hard work.

I have sat in restaurants/pubs with friends before and not eaten anything whilst they do. wouldnt cross my mind to have a tantrum about it.

You say she’s draining.

I spent about ten years having a draining friend. She was publicly rude to me on FB one day for no reason. I decided to see how long before she got in touch. That was five years ago.

It’s been a relief. Real friends are nice to each other.

She sounds unhinged!

You’ve done nothing wrong OP. She sounds unhinged, spoilt, selfish and moody. She’s not a good friend. Cut her out of your life and when she unblocks you and tries to make contact again, just leave it with her

like say it how it is.

friend wanted a hot meal and I wanted a sandwich. friend suggested to find somewhere that did both but this deeply offended me so I blocked her.

Have you posted about her before?

She sounds over sensitive and you sound not sensitive enough! Not well matched as friends

It's just draining when every week she has outbursts over nothing and blocks me or screams at me.

Why on earth do you like her? For me, the first time a friend screamed at me is likely to be the last time I have any dealings with her, unless she has a very good reason. Life is just too short for these dramatics, spend your time with people who actually behave like friends.

The answer you gave does not really correlate with your OP. She wanted to go round the shops. You wanted lunch and she didn't. Whilst she was being a bit dramatic you kind of forced something on her that she didn't want

Nonsense. If she didn't want lunch, all she had to do was say so when OP first suggested meeting up. Why go all around the houses saying you want a sandwich if you're so offended about the concept of having lunch?

CutieBear has given a really good response. Adding to that, a friend for whom you can do nothing right is not really a friend. If you block her, she does not need to see what you are doing with others and even if she does and comments to you, you won't receive them so they won't annoy or upset you. You may feel a sense of relief at not having to put up with this any longer. Her lack of friends is her problem and not yours to try to fix. Please walk away from toxic people like this; you don't need them in your life. No more FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) as you don't owe her.

I feel you were not listening to her really

She want a casual stroll around the shops, no sit down meal (fair enough!)

You start sending menus