Friend has just blocked me,aibu to think I've done nothing wrong?

[louisabb]

I don't understand when my friend has outbursts like this.
Friday we had organised to meet up for a look around the shops and I said lunch.
Lately she's been saying she has no appetite and likes nibbly food.
So I found 3 places and sent her the menu and asked if she liked the look of them.
She said "it's only Wednesday,I'm not deciding yet"
Then said "actually I just want to get a sandwich"
I said "oh no worries,I'm fancying more a hot meal so how about we find a nice pub that does sandwiches plus a choice of meals"
No reply.
Then a hour later she rang me angry
"I don't like to plan anything,I've got no interest in food "
I said "ok well why did you organise it with me"
She said "oh there you go blaming me"
I said "I'm not sure what the problem is,I was just trying to find somewhere you liked"
She replied "I like nowhere"
I said "sorry I'm a bit confused,do you want to cancel Friday ?"
She said "oh blaming me for wanting to cancel(she swore ) hung up and blocked me on WhatsApp

What did I do?

why are you putting up with this from someone?

If I go out with other friends she will be cross I didn't invite her
Yet if I invite her she says no and gets angry for asking her.

Be prepared for a swift who's this when she unblocks you to continue the dramatic

I wouldn't bother continuing with this friendship. You don't owe her anything, stop contacting her.

Stop chasing her. You'll never understand why she is like she is. She probably enjoys keeping you on the leash at her beck and call.

I can't win
I'd give up trying tbh.

Do you actually like each other?

For example last week me and another friend had a lunch date.
No drama it was a case of talking the night before about what we fancied and being excited about meeting up and having a cocktail

Everything is dramatic with her

I tagged a friend in a post about cocktails on fb
She immediately txt "why did you text me"

@louisabb

I don't understand when my friend has outbursts like this. Friday we had organised to meet up for a look around the shops and I said lunch. Lately she's been saying she has no appetite and likes nibbly food. So I found 3 places and sent her the menu and asked if she liked the look of them. She said "it's only Wednesday,I'm not deciding yet" Then said "actually I just want to get a sandwich" I said "oh no worries,I'm fancying more a hot meal so how about we find a nice pub that does sandwiches plus a choice of meals" No reply. Then a hour later she rang me angry "I don't like to plan anything,I've got no interest in food " I said "ok well why did you organise it with me" She said "oh there you go blaming me" I said "I'm not sure what the problem is,I was just trying to find somewhere you liked" She replied "I like nowhere" I said "sorry I'm a bit confused,do you want to cancel Friday ?" She said "oh blaming me for wanting to cancel(she swore ) hung up and blocked me on WhatsApp

What did I do?

Sounds like you're better off. And that she's got some kind of food issue/eating disorder.

Yeah, I'd not bother in future - you did nothing wrong OP

@TheBobJog well clearly or I wouldn't try so hard
It's just draining when every week she has outbursts over nothing and blocks me or screams at me.
It's hard work

I don’t think it’s worth trying, what’s the point? What does she bring to your life? She sounds too much like hard work. Let her get on with her tantrum.

This sort of thing is the reason why I am absolutely a lone shopper. I never go shopping with anyone or as a social occasion because I just want to do my own thing at my own speed, browse at my own pace, eat or drink if or when I want to etc.

Her reaction does seem way OTT, but neither approach is right or wrong. Just possibly incompatible. You wanted to plan and structure a bit (fine) and she didn't (also fine).

I'm not sure I'd call her much of a friend though if she is prone to this sort of reaction regularly. However, I think I can just about see why she felt you were being too pushy with the food and timetabling it in. Maybe she just wanted to go with the flow.

I don't see why she has blocked you though, unless there is more to it.

YANBU OP. She’s being a dick. If she didn’t want food there nicer ways of saying it without having a go and blocking you. Is she 14 ffs!

She’s not a friend. She’s an arsehole.

The world is hard enough without putting up with shit from people who are supposed to like you. I’d block her and be done with the friendship if someone treated me that way.

She isn't going to change so you either put up with her and allow yourself to be treated like shit or distance yourself and sent a message that you refuse to accept the poor behaviour.

send a message...

@louisabb

If I go out with other friends she will be cross I didn't invite her Yet if I invite her she says no and gets angry for asking her.

So just go out with your other friends if you want to. Say nothing to her. Why does she get any say. So what if she doesn't like it!

Your friend has an eating disorder.

If you want to continue with the relationship I think I'd call her out on it every single time.

Be honest, what do you get out of this relationship?

Leave her to it. You asked what she preferred and still wasn't happy.
Life's too short trying to appease people, let them fit in with you for a change.

She's over reached but you were going on when she clearly didn't want to.
You suggested lunch. She said she has no appetite- you sent her menus. She was clearly overwhelmed and said she doesn't want to plan and get a sandwich- you then pushed again to go to a pub. She's clearly anxious about something, and is uncomfortable. I think you were really pushy tbh. Not sure I would have blocked you but I can see why she's so annoyed.

Your friend has massive issues and will or already has alienated probably everyone from being OTT and dramatic.

Honestly, don't worry about it. All this chorus of 'well you shouldn't have pushed food' is ridiculous - she mentioned food in the first place and from your other messages it's clear you want to have some kind of idea of what to do going into the day as she's so flaky, plus a lot of places need to be booked at the moment.

If it's exhausting and serving no purpose, like toxic relationships, you are well within your right to cut them out of your life. If it was a genuine anxiety over eating, fair enough, but this person sounds like they have a repetitive behaviour of treating people like shit and then fishing them in again.

This is a slow car crash friendship.

One day she will just decide she CBA as she is not invested. You are their for her convenience.

Block her, move on.

[quote louisabb]@TheBobJog well clearly or I wouldn't try so hard
It's just draining when every week she has outbursts over nothing and blocks me or screams at me.
It's hard work [/quote]
But why on earth do you like her, if you in fact do? The person you describe is angry, irrational, melodramatic, self-absorbed and rude, and her behaviour suggests she's not particularly fond of you...?

You did nothing wrong she could easily answered all your txts calmly and politely, even if she didn’t like your ideas.
Well I wouldn’t wait for unblocking, I would just move on with my life without her. I could change my mind if she would send me a proper apology but not without it.