Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have messaged relative in labour

194 replies

Wingingthis · 23/05/2021 16:06

Was with DM and she got a call to say that a close relative of mine had gone into Labour. So I gave her a quick message just saying how exciting & good luck.
Relative didn’t reply but has said to someone else that she’s annoyed. I honestly just thought I was being nice, never expected a reply. I was talking to her about hypnobirthing a couple of weeks ago and personally appreciated it when I got nice texts when going into Labour.
I feel really bad now & like I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m probably over thinking it. But was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
cheesecrackerz · 23/05/2021 16:07

Maybe she didn't want everyone to know and she's annoyed the news spread quickly - which isn't your fault

PurpleDaisies · 23/05/2021 16:07

Have you considered that she hasn’t replied because she’s just had a baby? Literally just had a baby? Confused

Original poster
Wingingthis · 23/05/2021 16:08

@PurpleDaisies yes of course...I said I didn’t expect my reply. My question is have I done something wrong as she has said she was annoyed to someone else.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wingingthis · 23/05/2021 16:08

*a reply

OP posts:
ThepastisNotinthepast · 23/05/2021 16:09

Ignore it op you were trying to be nice and she’s moaning to someone else , which being in Labour she’s entitled to do. I wouldn’t take it to heart and given the circumstances just try to forget it

Spied · 23/05/2021 16:13

Maybe she was 'in the zone' when her phone beeped and it totally put her off her stride.
Maybe it beeped at an emotional or memorable time during the process.
Labour is a private thing for a woman and perhaps she felt it was an intrusion.
I'd not have text.

lobsterkiller · 23/05/2021 16:16

I dont think it was intrusive thats the point of a text, to be picked up when ready. I wouldnt let it worry you.

Original poster
Wingingthis · 23/05/2021 16:16

Maybe, i feel do feel awful.
When my waters broke I didn’t actually go into Labour for hours so I just imagined her at home waiting for things to get going but perhaps I was wrong

OP posts:
VaccineMcQueen · 23/05/2021 16:19

Some people are dicks OP. You did a nice thing

Clymene · 23/05/2021 16:20

So she's in labour and she's contacted another relative to tell them she's annoyed you contacted her? Confused

Original poster
Wingingthis · 23/05/2021 16:22

@Clymene no after the baby was born yesterday

OP posts:
mummyh2016 · 23/05/2021 16:23

YANBU, she sounds a bit precious Hmm

Babyfg · 23/05/2021 16:24

I don't think you were wrong, I'd have taken it as someone sending me positive thoughts. Tbh going into labour, birthing and post natal are strange times. I know my hormones were all over the place (especially with my first when I was so rigid about how I wanted everything to be), that she might not be thinking like she normally would. I'd just give her space and probably let it slide without saying anything.

You did nothing wrong, it's not like you were constantly ringing for an update or anything.

LagneyandCasey · 23/05/2021 16:24

You didn't do anything wrong. You were being kind. It's not like you turned up at the hospital shouting at her to push. She's rude for telling someone else she's annoyed. She could have simply ignored the text.

If she's so adverse to receiving communication during labour she should have turned her phone off.

Honestly, some people are ridiculous!

Marlena1 · 23/05/2021 16:25

I used to get frustrated getting messages before I was in labour (massively overdue) but I think we do get a bit irrational around that time. All she had to do was ignore, no big deal. You did nothing wrong. Takes all sorts.

Crunchymum · 23/05/2021 16:25

I assume this is your sister (or SIL)

What I can't understand is why the person she moaned to (your mum?) told you?

ThatIsMyPotato · 23/05/2021 16:25

She was probably annoyed your mum told you

TwoAndAnOnion · 23/05/2021 16:25

Relative didn’t reply but has said to someone else that she’s annoyed.

Why is the someone else shit-stirring and repeating things back to you?

katy1213 · 23/05/2021 16:26

Dear god, is there no escape from constant texting? This is one step down from texting someone on their death bed to wish them bon voyage!

ComDummings · 23/05/2021 16:30

I do think it’s a bit weird that you texted her tbh. She didn’t tell you she was in labour, someone told your mum. If she wanted you to know she’d have told you herself.

Original poster
Wingingthis · 23/05/2021 16:30

@katy1213 it wasn’t constant texting ... I wasn’t asking for an update or asking questions I simply said good luck you’ll do amazing. (Like I said I didn’t expect a reply and she was asking me questions about Labour a couple of weeks ago and I was reassuring her she’d be fine)

Thank you everyone, I totally agree that hormones are a crazy thing at this time and of course I’d never say anything to her or make an issue of it. I was just doubting myself that I had done somethjng horribly wrong

OP posts:
AngelDelightUk · 23/05/2021 16:31

She’s annoyed your mum told you. She probably didn’t want everyone to know

Cocomelt · 23/05/2021 16:33

Don't worry OP, you've done nothing wrong. She will have been annoyed that the news spread, but that isn't your fault.

katy1213 · 23/05/2021 16:33

But it's horribly intrusive - if your presence and encouragement was wanted, she'd have invited you to be a birth partner.

MyCatDribbles · 23/05/2021 16:33

I expect she was more annoyed that someone told you

I had to go to A&E the other month, from work. A work colleague texted my friend to say that I was in A&E. Said friend then texted me to say sorry to hear I was in A&E.
I was very annoyed at that.