To have messaged relative in labour

[Wingingthis]

Was with DM and she got a call to say that a close relative of mine had gone into Labour. So I gave her a quick message just saying how exciting & good luck.
Relative didn’t reply but has said to someone else that she’s annoyed. I honestly just thought I was being nice, never expected a reply. I was talking to her about hypnobirthing a couple of weeks ago and personally appreciated it when I got nice texts when going into Labour.
I feel really bad now & like I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m probably over thinking it. But was I being unreasonable?

OP you did something nice, she is a dick. Don't give it another thought.

@Indoctro

She is a drama queen ignore her

There's nothing her to say she's a drama queen. She mentioned to someone else (who frankly should have kept her beak out) that the text irritated her. That's all.

She's not had a go at the OP. She's not lost her temper. She hasn't dramatised anything.

Maybe she was 'in the zone' when her phone beeped and it totally put her off her stride. Maybe it beeped at an emotional or memorable time during the process. Labour is a private thing for a woman and perhaps she felt it was an intrusion.

Then she shouldn't have had her phone with her at the time. Honestly, how ridiculous - no-one has to be glued to their phone.

You did nothing wrong OP, she's just being precious.

Relative sounds like she's being precious and a right dick. Op rise above it and move on, you did a nice thing and this says far more about her than you.

But if she was in the zone she wouldnt be checking her phone!!
What a pity that this is how she is feeling when it should be so joyous.

I feel quite sorry for this woman who is being called all sorts of names on the basis of what someone else has said to Op.

The news also wasn't passed on to you specifically Op, you just happened to be there when someone else was informed, so keeping it to yourself might have been best.

I get why she's annoyed but she's annoyed at the wrong person. I did exactly the same - my cousin texted me when I was in labour and it really put me off my stride. She said she didn't expect a reply but I then became worried about replying to her and who else knew etc., which I didn't have the heads pace for during my difficult labour.
When the hormones died down, I realised I shouldn't have been annoyed at my cousin but at my aunt, who immediately told everyone in the family as soon as I went into labour, and then took it upon herself to announce the birth too. My aunt knew because my DM was visiting hers when she got the call I'd gone into labour. Didnt expect her to tell everyone though!

It’s the ‘you’ll be amazing’ comment that you wrote possibly. Neither of my births were to plan and I wasn’t amazing. It got a bit scary and she possibly was feeling all sorts of emotions and vulnerable. I did not need cheerleaders with ‘amazing’ comments. I needed to listen to the doctors about heart rates etc and how my body wasn’t ‘working’.
Also with hypnobirthing you need to get in the zone. It takes a huge amount of concentration.
I would be fed up to be honest. Write her a quick note/text to say you got ahead of yourself in the excitement. It’s an annoyance to you but to her it could be really important. A lot of people get very intense emotions about giving birth and relive the labour a lot. I think it will be kind of you just a short apology.

I think there are too many unnecessary and/or intrusive texts in the world and this was one of them.
People need space and that applies a thousand times over to women giving birth.

She sounds like hard work.

I still dont understand the intrusive comments and hypnobirthing etc. If you're checking your phone you arent doing hypnobirthing properly.

I'm sorry I think this is all ridiculously precious.

My hypnobirthing involves an app, count me through breathing with my music and positive affirmations. So if I switched my phone off I wouldn’t have that little support that I had been practicing with.

I think also when it comes to pregnancy, labour and birth the general rule of thumb to stick to is unless you're told by the actual pregnant lady and know whatever it is you're talking about is common knowledge then it's best to keep the news to yourself.

I'll never forget my cousin being pregnant with her first. First baby in the family of that generation. My mum must've received a call to let her know and instead of letting my cousin call me and tell me herself the second she got off the phone she rang me to tell me. I told her I didn't think it was a very nice thing to do and not to tell anyone else and knowing my cousin really well I knew she'd want to tell people herself. My mum got all huffy and asked me if I was jealous, being all cross (unbeknown to her I was actually also pregnant, but only just so no one knew). Sure enough whilst I was still on the phone to my mum my cousin rang to tell me. I just pretended I didn't know when she said, but I imagine she'd have been a bit annoyed/upset if I'd have said 'oh congrats, I know, mum told me!'.

Some women like sharing with all and sundry and don't mind other people spreading their happy news. Others (like me) don't. Neither is right or wrong but if you're more private then people close to you should be respectful of that and really you shouldn't need to tell people things and then say 'please keep it to yourself', it's just common sense and gossiping about news which isn't yours to share isn't very nice.

@katy1213

Dear god, is there no escape from constant texting? This is one step down from texting someone on their death bed to wish them bon voyage!

This did make me laugh! But I don't think you were being particularly unreasonable. As a pp said, if she didn't want to be interrupted, she could have switched her phone off. I reckon she was cross with your Mum for telling you she'd gone into labour, and deflected it on to you?

@WhySoSensitive

My hypnobirthing involves an app, count me through breathing with my music and positive affirmations. So if I switched my phone off I wouldn’t have that little support that I had been practicing with.

But doesn't that mean you run the risk of receiving any number of texts/WhatsApp messages/emails that are from people who have no idea you are in labour or are marketing or scam ones? Won't you need to switch off all alerts on your phone if you are using the app in which case the OP's message wouldn't have got to you to disturb you anyway.

@OhToBeASeahorse

I still dont understand the intrusive comments and hypnobirthing etc. If you're checking your phone you arent doing hypnobirthing properly.

I'm sorry I think this is all ridiculously precious.

Hypnobirthing is actually about doing whatever boosts your oxytocin and helps you to relax and birth your baby as comfortably as possible. If sitting on your phone in between contractions helps you relax, then so be it.

It isn’t intrusive at all, it’s just a bloody text and a nice text at that. She should feel grateful people care enough to reach out to her and wish her well. You haven’t done anything wrong at all OP, I don’t have a clue why she’s so annoyed by a nice text.

Also should have said if she didn’t want her phone during Labour, she should’ve switched it off or left it on silent. If she wanted to use it but didn’t want messages, she could have switched the notifications off. Very easy to do.

i wouldnt worry about it. She might have been annoyed, but i doubt she will give it much more thought. No need to overthink it. People get annoyed about all sorts of shit. Youre not a mind reader

Yeah sorry I wouldn't have texted either. Basically woman in labour = do not disturb unless you've been invited in the room. Thought that was common knowledge/etiquette tbh!

@AlMummy. That’s what I think too. It’s an automatic do not disturb until they release their public birth announcements. I was only disturbed during one of my four, and it was because my dear GM passed away while I was in labour with my first DD.

@ThepastisNotinthepast

Ignore it op you were trying to be nice and she’s moaning to someone else , which being in Labour she’s entitled to do. I wouldn’t take it to heart and given the circumstances just try to forget it

Agreed.

My hypnobirthing involves an app, count me through breathing with my music and positive affirmations. So if I switched my phone off I wouldn’t have that little support that I had been practicing with.

I'm speechless! I wonder how people gave birth for the centuries before we had apps. All you people who can't do anything at all without the aid of a phone make me fear for the future of mankind.

You fear for the future of mankind because I used an app to help me count my breathing and listen to music in labour? Hahahahh

@Mandalay246 I fear for mankind with so many small minded, judgemental people like you going around. It helps you breathe through your contractions and time them.

Don't even know why I'm bothering to explain because you are clearly far too superior to bother with such ridiculousness.