Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think rubbing your genitals in someone's face I assault, whatever their age?

223 replies

MargeSimpson00 · 19/05/2021 16:07

Ds got in trouble today after a scuffle. Nothing to serious, no one was hurt just some tripping/shoving. Teacher dealt with it, is keeping both boys in tomorrow as punishment. All not an issue. Ds was pretty upset when he got home and it turns out the reason he retaliated was because when he was on the floor after being tripped, the other boy 'teabagged' him. Rest of the class circled and laughed, obviously causing a lot of embarrassment to ds.

So although I'm fine with the punishment, aibu to speak to the teacher about this? I don't think it's something to brush under the carpet tbh and think it need addressing.

OP posts:
MrMeSeeks · 19/05/2021 18:58

Speak to school tomorrow, i would NOT be accepting ds punishment.

lcenii · 19/05/2021 19:01

Rubbing your groin, clothed or not, learnt from a game or not, sexualised or not, onto someone else's face after scrapping, is not acceptable and needs to be dealt with. How can people not see that? Has absolutely nothing to do with whether the OP let's her son play the game. That's deflecting.

Checkingout811 · 19/05/2021 19:01

Regardless of whether you allow your son to play fort nite or not, this is assault and completely unacceptable.
I assumed from your initial post that the boys involved were in high school.
Absolutely disgusting behaviour from a 10 year old, don’t let them let this go OP!

I really hope your son is okay. I can’t even imagine :(

Lotusmonster · 19/05/2021 19:02

God. That’s revolting.

Checkingout811 · 19/05/2021 19:02

Oh, and I wouldn’t be accepting a punishment for my son either.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 19/05/2021 19:03

@KaleSlayer

Then it's all just fun and games and stupidity.

And banter, don’t forget banter...... I wonder why so many men act inappropriately. 🤔

I

That's what happens when all their life they're told their behaviour is "not that bad".
Howshouldibehave · 19/05/2021 19:03

@MargeSimpson00 right, if your son didn’t tell the teacher, then the school have nothing wrong, going on the only information they had. I’d send the teacher an email or give them a ring and explain the situation.

Sceptre86 · 19/05/2021 19:03

Although violence is never the answer I don't blame your son. The other child is old enough to know that it would be humiliating to do this to someone else and whether his genitals were clothed or otherwise it is not OK. I would absolutely be raising this with the school, the other child should be excluded at the very least. Maybe then it will drive home to him and his parents that their 'precious' son needs his behaviour dealt with. It is secure assault and at 10 years of age his behaviour is concerning.

MagicSummer · 19/05/2021 19:04

Can't be bothered to read all pages but what the hell does teabagging mean - never heard that word before?

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 19/05/2021 19:06

@MagicSummer

Can't be bothered to read all pages but what the hell does teabagging mean - never heard that word before?
Can't be bothered to google either?

Hopefully no one can be bothered to do the work for you either.

Geppili · 19/05/2021 19:10

Jesus that is awful!

MagicSummer · 19/05/2021 19:12

@AccidentallyOnPurpose - OK just googled. Oh my God, that is JUST disgusting, I really had no idea this sort of thing happened. Thank goodness I am not a young person now.

FatCatThinCat · 19/05/2021 19:16

I first heard the phrase in a very early episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County. So it predates Fortnite by at least 10 years. I'm a bit of a gamer myself but I've not heard it since until this thread.

itslategotosleep · 19/05/2021 19:27

When you speak to he teacher you need to be firm and use the words sexual assault. Ensure that you advocate for your son, that your son was assaulted (tripped), sexually assaulted as a form of public humiliation and retaliated out of embarrassment. At ten years old this is worrying as you can see how it can escalate if it isn’t stopped and taken seriously now. Would any of us accept this behaviour from another person? I wouldn’t. It a man tripped me and then rubbed his genitals in my face it wouldn’t be taken lightly.

itslategotosleep · 19/05/2021 19:29

Tea bagging is one of those phrases/things that tries to minimise and make light and comedy of disgusting behaviour, I think it’s similar to ‘happy slapping’, described as ‘banter’. It’s vile and I wouldn’t accept it happening to my child. Please don’t let it be minimised.

TheHumanSatsuma · 19/05/2021 19:33

You definitely need to report this to school.
Speaking as ex Senco/SMT

CallieJones · 19/05/2021 19:35

Wtf

WestendVBroadway · 19/05/2021 19:48

@StopSayingDueDiligence

What else is concerning is that the 10 year olds know what 'tea bagging' is...
I am a great deal older than 10 , and I have no idea what 'tea bagging ' is!
Gladimnotcampinginthisweather · 19/05/2021 19:51

My son was teabagged at Cadet camp about ten years ago. It isn't new, and often seems to happen in all male environments. He was asleep and woke up to find another Cadet doing it to him. It is a form of bullying. They were quite a bit older - 15 or 16.
The Police do regard it as sexual assault. However the Officers tried to brush it off as 'boys will be boys'. The NSPCC were very helpful at the time and it might be worth ringing them for advice.
OP you need to have a clear account of what happened.
Do not be fobbed off by the school. If necessary call the Police. They are unlikely to take action against the other boy because of his age, but they may well send someone to speak to him.
In my son's case the perpetrator was a big favourite of the Officers which made it even worse as we were regarded as trouble makers.
It wasn't for the faint hearted, but my son was determined that it shouldn't happen to anyone else.

supermoonrising · 19/05/2021 19:56

Seems the vast majority of console games these days are not suitable for preteens IMO

supermoonrising · 19/05/2021 19:59

I agree he shouldn't be punished. People have the right to defend themselves in the heat of the moment of a physical attack.

Dishwashersaurous · 19/05/2021 20:00

did your son explain what the other child did to him?

TenShortStories · 19/05/2021 20:05

Sure it's only a gaming term when being mentioned verbally in a game. Actually crouching over someone with your crotch over their face in real life is not 'a gaming thing' because it's not in the game - surely?! It real life it must be purely an assault or aggressive act of some sort I'd have thought...

Flobbertybillop · 19/05/2021 20:25

Op - I’m so sorry this happened. It’s fucking horrendous, and yes, you should complain.
All those posters dismissing it, shame on you, children have the right to not be treated like this, they shouldn’t put up with things, because ‘it’s kids’.
Kids need to learn how to behave.

Dingleydel · 19/05/2021 20:25

Stuff like this honestly makes me despair of today’s society. Why do so many parents allow their children access to violent and inappropriate gaming? I can’t help but feel kids are being set up to fail if they are just mimicking inappropriate stuff that their parents have allowed them access to then be accused of sexual assault at the age of 10. Stop offering your children up for online grooming FFS!