Page 5 | To think rubbing your genitals in someone's face I assault, whatever their age?

MargeSimpson00 · 2021-05-19T15:07:57+00:00

Ds got in trouble today after a scuffle. Nothing to serious, no one was hurt just some tripping/shoving. Teacher dealt with it, is keeping both boys in tomorrow as punishment. All not an issue. Ds was pretty upset when he got home and it turns out the reason he retaliated was because when he was on the floor after being tripped, the other boy 'teabagged' him. Rest of the class circled and laughed, obviously causing a lot of embarrassment to ds. So although I'm fine with the punishment, aibu to speak to the teacher about this? I don't think it's something to brush under the carpet tbh and think it need addressing.

Northofsomewhere · 19/05/2021 18:20

I don't necessarily see how her son should've reacted differently in a way, other than maybe walking away. If I was treated in that way by anyone (tripped then basically sat on to humiliate) I'd have made sure whoever was doing it didn't do it again. While these are clearly children on me child clearly wanted to humiliate the other after seeing the same thing done on a game (it's many shooter games not just fortnight) and possibly having it done to them in the game. I think the child doing the teabagging clearly knew that this would humiliate the OP's ds and that's why they did this. I don't think playing Fortnight, other than it being the mechanism through which they learnt the action, is that relevant. It could've easily been from an older sibling, some inappropriate YouTube or another game.

Howshouldibehave · 19/05/2021 18:24

Did your son tell the teacher that the other boy did this?

powershowerforanhour · 19/05/2021 18:27

Even if it's a gaming thing it originally grew out of sexually humiliating and dominating the vanquished. Same as if he'd turn the victim face down and dry humped his backside. If it was done by a boy to a girl there would (hopefully) be uproar and there should be the same when the victim is a boy. Horrible stuff and encourages sexual aggression I would have thought- and indirectly damaging to girls too given the attitudes it fosters (remember the Poundland elf thing that was explained as top bantz)

Dishwashersaurous · 19/05/2021 18:27

But the child knows about it from the game. That's why there are age restrictions.

What the child did was wrong, and the parents should take responsibility for exposing him to age inappropriate things which he then copies.

Similar to a child exposed to lots of swearing who then copies and swears

Original poster

MargeSimpson00 · 19/05/2021 18:29

@Howshouldibehave

Did your son tell the teacher that the other boy did this?

No, he was too embarrassed.

OP posts:

KaleSlayer · 19/05/2021 18:30

There’s no way I would accept my child being punished for this OP. He was the victim here. I’d be talking to the school and my child would not be punished for this.

Original poster

MargeSimpson00 · 19/05/2021 18:31

Thanks for all the responses. I will definitely speak to his teacher in the morning, he has always been good at dealing with things so will let him decide how to proceed then will decide if I'm happy at the response.

OP posts:

powershowerforanhour · 19/05/2021 18:31

Since the other child isn't really adhering to the Queensberry rules, would it be considered a breach of etiquette for your son to have administered a savage uppercut to the balls being rubbed in his face? I know escalation is a bad idea, but I just wondered.

MSA60 · 19/05/2021 18:35

I asked my DS (16) who said that nearly all online games have teabagging....it is an up and down movement of the avatar that in gaming world means 'Ha, I won.' My son thought it very unlikely that an average 10 year old would associate anything sexual with it, or that the term came from something to do with genitals. However , the kid who teabagged still sounds vile since he clearly did want to rub in his dominance etc. However, I'm with those that are reading more into this than it needs.

Polkadots2021 · 19/05/2021 18:35

Does anyone here seriously not think a work colleague would be sacked & reported if they sat on and rubbed genitals in the face of a coworker while his mates stood around and laughed? Insane behaviour. So why is it ok in a school? Your poor son has already internalised the humiliation designed to keep a victim quiet. I hope the teaching staff take this extremely seriously. And of course he learned it from the game - that's why the best way he could think of to play to the crowd was to do what's most popular - monkey Fortnite for popularity points & laughs.

Needanewhat · 19/05/2021 18:38

Utterly gross a 10 year old would even know what that means and makes me even more glad my son is home educated.

RedFrogsRule · 19/05/2021 18:40

@Polkadots2021

Does anyone here seriously not think a work colleague would be sacked & reported if they sat on and rubbed genitals in the face of a coworker while his mates stood around and laughed? Insane behaviour. So why is it ok in a school? Your poor son has already internalised the humiliation designed to keep a victim quiet. I hope the teaching staff take this extremely seriously. And of course he learned it from the game - that's why the best way he could think of to play to the crowd was to do what's most popular - monkey Fortnite for popularity points & laughs.

Exactly this! Why do we expect our children to accept this behaviour

Whilst I appreciate that punishment should reflect the age group and ability to comprehend exactly how wrong this was would anyone suggest that a suitable punishment would be for this lad to expect the same treatment back? No. Because it’s vile.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 19/05/2021 18:40

We are talking about 10 year old boys here, most of who aren't actually all that clued up on sex or interested in it at all . Not grown men in the work place

hparkins · 19/05/2021 18:41

@Polkadots2021 that is a ridiculous comparison. 10 year olds with no experience in the real world vs a fully grown adult in the work place. also,most adults would know that even if they saw this in a game that it wouldnt be appropriate to then replicate it. that's the whole reason there is age limitations in the first place - the average 10 year old is nowhere near full maturity yet.

noone has said it is okay what the boy did but are rejecting the idea that it was a deliberate sexual assault and that there was a very low chance that he had any idea what it actually means if he is copying it from a game, a game that OP herself has said she permits her son to play.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 19/05/2021 18:41

@MargeSimpson00

Thanks for all the responses. I will definitely speak to his teacher in the morning, he has always been good at dealing with things so will let him decide how to proceed then will decide if I'm happy at the response.

Definitely talk to the school.

It's inappropriate.

2.It's designed to humiliate.

Neither of these are acceptable behaviour and should be dealt with. If I was your son's teacher I'd also reassess his consequence considering why he acted the way he did.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 19/05/2021 18:41

And that doesn't mean anyone should accept that behaviour 🙄

Needanewhat · 19/05/2021 18:42

We are talking about 10 year old boys here, most of who aren't actually all that clued up on sex or interested in it at all . Not grown men in the work place

Maybe if we educate them at 10 they won't grow up to be those creeps in the workplace then.

eddiemairswife · 19/05/2021 18:42

I had to look it up. Never heard of it, but I went to an all-girls'' school before the digital age.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 19/05/2021 18:44

@EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall

We are talking about 10 year old boys here, most of who aren't actually all that clued up on sex or interested in it at all . Not grown men in the work place

Irrelevant.

At 10 they know it's unacceptable behaviour and it had malicious intent. That's more than enough.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 19/05/2021 18:47

@Needanewhat well of course, I'd think that goes without saying for the majority of people

Like the op has obviously explained it to her 10 year old . Comparing it to griwn adults in the work place is a ridiculous comparison though when you are talking about 10 year olds who have learnt it from playing computer games

VillanellesOrangeCoat · 19/05/2021 18:48

@WilsonMilson

Bare genital you’d absolutely not be unreasonable, but this seems like something and nothing.

Wow. So when does the line get crossed from nothing to assault?

MarshaBradyo · 19/05/2021 18:49

Yanbu it’s not nothing at all

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 19/05/2021 18:51

[quote VillanellesOrangeCoat]@WilsonMilson

Bare genital you’d absolutely not be unreasonable, but this seems like something and nothing.

Wow. So when does the line get crossed from nothing to assault?[/quote]
When it's children. Particularly if it's boys and no actual injury takes place.

Then it's all just fun and games and stupidity.

I presume the posters are also of a stick and stones mindset.

KaleSlayer · 19/05/2021 18:54

Then it's all just fun and games and stupidity.

And banter, don’t forget banter...... I wonder why so many men act inappropriately. 🤔

I

Iamaperwinkle · 19/05/2021 18:54

So he was bullied (tripped) and then sexually assaulted and ridiculed -and then BECAUSE he retaliated -he has a punishment. No no no.

I'd clarify the situation but IF that happened -no way my child is having a punishment.